Read the book: «Dr. Sevier», page 17

CHAPTER XXXIX.
“PETTENT PRATE.”

It was about the time, in January, when clerks and correspondents were beginning to write ’59 without first getting it ’58, that Dr. Sevier, as one morning he approached his office, noticed with some grim amusement, standing among the brokers and speculators of Carondelet street, the baker, Reisen. He was earnestly conversing with and bending over a small, alert fellow, in a rakish beaver and very smart coat, with the blue flowers of modesty bunched saucily in one button-hole.

Almost at the same moment Reisen saw the Doctor. He called his name aloud, and for all his ungainly bulk would have run directly to the carriage in the middle of the street, only that the Doctor made believe not to see, and in a moment was out of reach. But when, two or three hours later, the same vehicle came, tipping somewhat sidewise against the sidewalk at the Charity Hospital gate, and the Doctor stepped from it, there stood Reisen in waiting.

“Toctor,” he said, approaching and touching his hat, “I like to see you a minudt, uff you bleace, shtrict prifut.”

They moved slowly down the unfrequented sidewalk, along the garden wall.

“Before you begin, Reisen, I want to ask you a question. I’ve noticed for a month past that Mr. Richling rides in your bread-carts alongside the drivers on their rounds. Don’t you know you ought not to require such a thing as that from a person like Mr. Richling? Mr. Richling’s a gentleman, Reisen, and you make him mount up in those bread-carts, and jump out every few minutes to deliver bread!”

The Doctor’s blood was not cold.

“Vell, now!” drawled the baker, as the corners of his mouth retreated toward the back of his neck, “end’t tat teh funn’est ting, ennahow! Vhy, tat iss yoost teh ferra ting fot I comin’ to shpeak mit you apowdt udt!” He halted and looked at the Doctor to see how this coincidence struck him; but the Doctor merely moved on. “I toant make him too udt,” he continued, starting again; “he cumps to me sindts apowdt two-o-o mundts aco – ven I shtill feelin’ a liddle veak, yet, fun teh yalla-feewa – undt yoost paygs me to let um too udt. ‘Mr. Richlun,’ sayss I to him, ‘I toandt kin untershtayndt for vot you vawndts to too sich a ritickliss, Mr. Richlun!’ Ovver he sayss, ‘Mr. Reisen,’ – he alvays callss me ‘Mister,’ undt tat iss one dting in puttickly vot I alvays tit li-i-iked apowdt Mr. Richlun, – ‘Mr. Reisen,’ he sayss, ‘toandt you aysk me te reason, ovver yoost let me co abate undt too udt!’ Undt I voss a coin’ to kiff udt up, alretty; ovver ten cumps in Missess Reisen, – who iss a heap shmarter mayn as fot Reisen iss, I yoost tell you te ectsectly troot, – and she sayss, ‘Reisen, you yoost tell Mr. Richlun, Mr. Richlun, you toadnt coin’ to too sich a ritickliss!’”

The speaker paused for effect.

“Undt ten Mr. Richlun, he talks! – Schweedt? – Oh yendlemuns, toandt say nutting!” The baker lifted up his palm and swung it down against his thigh with a blow that sent the flour out in a little cloud. “I tell you, Toctor Tseweer, ven tat mayn vawndts to too udt, he kin yoost talk te mo-ust like a Christun fun enna mayn I neffa he-ut in mine li-i-fe! ‘Missess Reisen,’ he sayss, ‘I vawndts to too udt pecause I vawndts to too udt.’ Vell, how you coin’ to arg-y ennating eagval mit Mr. Richlun? So teh upshodt iss he coes owdt in teh prate-cawts tistripputin’ te prate!” Reisen threw his arms far behind him, and bowed low to his listener.

Dr. Sevier had learned him well enough to beware of interrupting him, lest when he resumed it would be at the beginning again. He made no answer, and Reisen went on: —

“Bressently” – He stopped his slow walk, brought forward both palms, shrugged, dropped them, bowed, clasped them behind him, brought the left one forward, dropped it, then the right one, dropped it also, frowned, smiled, and said: —

“Bressently” – then a long silence – “effrapotty in my etsteplitchmendt” – another long pause – “hef yoost teh same ettechmendt to Mr. Richlun,” – another interval, – “tey hef yoost tso much effection fur him” – another silence – “ass tey hef” – another, with a smile this time – “fur – te teffle himpselluf!” An oven opened in the baker’s face, and emitted a softly rattling expiration like that of a bursted bellows. The Doctor neither smiled nor spoke. Reisen resumed: —

“I seen udt. I seen udt. Ovver I toandt coult untershtayndt udt. Ovver one tay cumps in mine little poy in to me fen te pakers voss all ashleep, ‘Pap-a, Mr. Richlun sayss you shouldt come into teh offuss.’ I kumpt in. Mr. Richlun voss tare, shtayndting yoost so – yoost so – py teh shtofe; undt, Toctor Tseweer, I yoost tell you te ectsectly troot, he toaldt in fife minudts – six minudts – seven minudts, udt may pe – undt shoadt me how effrapotty, high undt low, little undt pick, Tom, Tick, undt Harra, pin ropping me sindts more ass fife years!”

The longest pause of all followed this disclosure. The baker had gradually backed the Doctor up against the wall, spreading out the whole matter with his great palms turned now upward and now downward, the bulky contents of his high-waisted, barn-door trowsers now bulged out and now withdrawn, to be protruded yet more a moment later. He recommenced by holding out his down-turned hand some distance above the ground.

“I yoompt tot hoigh!” He blew his cheeks out, and rose a half-inch off his heels in recollection of the mighty leap. “Ovver Mr. Richlun sayss, – he sayss, ‘Kip shtill, Mr. Reisen;’ undt I kibt shtill.”

The baker’s auditor was gradually drawing him back toward the hospital gate; but he continued speaking: —

“Py undt py, vun tay, I kot someting to say to Mr. Richlun, yet. Undt I sendts vert to Mr. Richlun tat he shouldt come into teh offuss. He cumps in. ‘Mr. Richlun,’ I sayss, sayss I to him, ‘Mr. Richlun, I kot udt!’” The baker shook his finger in Dr. Sevier’s face. “‘I kot udt, udt layst, Mr. Richlun! I yoost het a suspish’n sindts teh first tay fot I employedt you, ovver now I know I kot udt!’ Vell, sir, he yoost turnun so rate ass a flennen shirt! – ‘Mr. Reisen,’ sayss he to me, ‘fot iss udt fot you kot?’ Undt sayss I to him, ‘Mr. Richlun, udt iss you! Udt is you fot I kot!’”

Dr. Sevier stood sphinx-like, and once more Reisen went on.

“‘Yes, Mr. Richlun,’” still addressing the Doctor as though he were his book-keeper, “‘I yoost layin, on my pett effra nighdt – effra nighdt, vi-i-ite ava-a-ake! undt in apowdt a veek I make udt owdt ut layst tot you, Mr. Richlun,’ – I lookt um shtraight in te eye, undt he lookt me shtraight te same, – ‘tot, Mr. Richlun, you,’ sayss I, ‘not dtose fellehs fot pin py mo sindts more ass fife yearss, put you, Mr. Richlun, iss teh mayn! – teh mayn fot I – kin trust!’” The baker’s middle parts bent out and his arms were drawn akimbo. Thus for ten seconds.

“‘Undt now, Mr. Richlun, do you kot teh shtrengdt for to shtart a noo pissness?’ – Pecause, Toctor, udt pin seem to me Mr. Richlun kitten more undt more shecklun, undt toandt take tot meticine fot you kif um (ovver he sayss he toos). So ten he sayss to me, ‘Mister Reisen, I am yoost so sollut undt shtrong like a pilly-coat! Fot is teh noo pissness?’ – ‘Mr. Richlun,’ sayss I, ‘ve goin’ to make pettent prate!’”

“What?” asked the Doctor, frowning with impatience and venturing to interrupt at last.

“Pet-tent prate!”

The listener frowned heavier and shook his head.

“Pettent prate!”

“Oh! patent bread; yes. Well?”

“Yes,” said Reisen, “prate mate mit a mutcheen; mit copponic-essut kass into udt ploat pefore udt is paked. I pought teh pettent tiss mawning fun a yendleman in Garontelet shtreedt, alretty, naympt Kknox.”

“And what have I to do with all this?” asked the Doctor, consulting his watch, as he had already done twice before.

“Vell,” said Reisen, spreading his arms abroad, “I yoost taught you like to herr udt.”

“But what do you want to see me for? What have you kept me all this time to tell me – or ask me?”

“Toctor, – you ugscooce me – ovver” – the baker held the Doctor by the elbow as he began to turn away – “Toctor Tseweer,” – the great face lighted up with a smile, the large body doubled partly together, and the broad left hand was held ready to smite the thigh, – “you shouldt see Mr. Richlun ven he fowndt owdt udt is goin’ to lower teh price of prate! I taught he iss goin’ to kiss Mississ Reisen!”

CHAPTER XL.
SWEET BELLS JANGLED

Those who knew New Orleans just before the civil war, even though they saw it only along its riverfront from the deck of some steam-boat, may easily recall a large sign painted high up on the side of the old “Triangle Building,” which came to view through the dark web of masts and cordage as one drew near St. Mary’s Market. “Steam Bakery” it read. And such as were New Orleans householders, or by any other chance enjoyed the experience of making their way in the early morning among the hundreds of baskets that on hundreds of elbows moved up and down along and across the quaint gas-lit arcades of any of the market-houses, must remember how, about this time or a little earlier, there began to appear on one of the tidiest of bread-stalls in each of these market-houses a new kind of bread. It was a small, densely compacted loaf of the size and shape of a badly distorted brick. When broken, it divided into layers, each of which showed – “teh bprindt of teh kkneading-mutcheen,” said Reisen to Narcisse; “yoost like a tsoda crecker!”

These two persons had met by chance at a coffee-stand one beautiful summer dawn in one of the markets, – the Tréiné, most likely, – where, perched on high stools at a zinc-covered counter, with the smell of fresh blood on the right and of stale fish on the left, they had finished half their cup of café au lait before they awoke to the exhilarating knowledge of each other’s presence.

“Yesseh,” said Narcisse, “now since you ’ave wemawk the mention of it, I think I have saw that va’iety of bwead.”

“Oh, surely you poundt to a-seedt udt. A uckly little prown dting” —

“But cook well,” said Narcisse.

“Yayss,” drawled the baker. It was a fact that he had to admit.

“An’ good flou’,” persisted the Creole.

“Yayss,” said the smiling manufacturer. He could not deny that either.

“An’ honness weight!” said Narcisse, planting his empty cup in his saucer, with the energy of his asservation; “an’, Mr. Bison, thass a ve’y seldom thing.”

“Yayss,” assented Reisen, “ovver tat prate is mighdy dtry, undt shtickin’ in ten dtroat.”

“No, seh!” said the flatterer, with a generous smile. “Egscuse me – I diffeh fum you. ’Tis a beaucheouz bwead. Yesseh. And eve’y loaf got the name beaucheouzly pwint on the top, with ‘Patent’ – sich an’ sich a time. ’Tis the tooth, Mr. Bison, I’m boun’ to congwatulate you on that bwead.”

“O-o-oh! tat iss not mine prate,” exclaimed the baker. “Tat iss not fun mine etsteplitchmendt. Oh, no! Tatt iss te prate – I’m yoost dtellin’ you – tat iss te prate fun tat fellah py teh Sunk-Mary’s Morrikit-house! Tat’s teh ‘shteam prate’. I to-undt know for vot effrapotty puys tat prate annahow! Ovver you yoost vait dtill you see mine prate!”

“Mr. Bison,” said Narcisse, “Mr. Bison,” – he had been trying to stop him and get in a word of his own, but could not, – “I don’t know if you – Mr. – Mr. Bison, in fact, you din unde’stood me. Can that be poss’ble that you din notiz that I was speaking in my i’ony about that bwead? Why, of co’se! Thass juz my i’onious cuztom, Mr. Bison. Thass one thing I dunno if you ’ave notiz about that ‘steam bwead,’ Mr. Bison, but with me that bwead always stick in my th’oat; an’ yet I kin swallow mose anything, in fact. No, Mr. Bison, yo’ bwead is deztyned to be the bwead; and I tell you how ’tis with me, I juz gladly eat yo’ bwead eve’y time I kin git it! Mr. Bison, in fact you don’t know me ve’y intimitly, but you will oblige me ve’y much indeed to baw me five dollahs till tomaw – save me fum d’awing a check!”

The German thrust his hand slowly and deeply into his pocket. “I alvayss like to oplyche a yendleman,” – he smiled benignly, drew out a toothpick, and added, – “ovver I nivveh bporrah or lend to ennabodda.”

“An’ then,” said Narcisse, promptly, “’tis imposs’ble faw anybody to be offended. Thass the bess way, Mr. Bison.”

“Yayss,” said the baker, “I tink udt iss.” As they were parting, he added: “Ovver you vait dtill you see mine prate!”

“I’ll do it, seh! – And, Mr. Bison, you muzn’t think anything about that, my not bawing that five dollars fum you, Mr. Bison, because that don’t make a bit o’ dif’ence; an’ thass one thing I like about you, Mr. Bison, you don’t baw yo’ money to eve’y Dick, Tom, an’ Hawwy, do you?”

“No, I dtoandt. Ovver, you yoost vait” —

And certainly, after many vexations, difficulties, and delays, that took many a pound of flesh from Reisen’s form, the pretty, pale-brown, fragrant white loaves of “aërated bread” that issued from the Star Bakery in Benjamin street were something pleasant to see, though they did not lower the price.

Richling’s old liking for mechanical apparatus came into play. He only, in the establishment, thoroughly understood the new process, and could be certain of daily, or rather nightly, uniform results. He even made one or two slight improvements in it, which he contemplated with ecstatic pride, and long accounts of which he wrote to Mary.

In a generous and innocent way Reisen grew a little jealous of his accountant, and threw himself into his business as he had not done before since he was young, and in the ardor of his emulation ignored utterly a state of health that was no better because of his great length and breadth.

“Toctor Tseweer!” he said, as the physician appeared one day in his office. “Vell, now, I yoost pet finfty tawllars tat iss Mississ Reisen sendts for you tat I’m sick! Ven udt iss not such a dting!” He laughed immoderately. “Ovver I’m gladt you come, Toctor, ennahow, for you pin yoost in time to see ever’ting runnin’. I vish you yoost come undt see udt!” He grinned in his old, broad way; but his face was anxious, and his bared arms were lean. He laid his hand on the Doctor’s arm, and then jerked it away, and tried to blow off the floury print of his fingers. “Come!” He beckoned. “Come; I show you somedting putiful. Toctor, I vizh you come!”

The Doctor yielded. Richling had to be called upon at last to explain the hidden parts and processes.

“It’s yoost like putt’n’ te shpirudt into teh potty,” said the laughing German. “Now, tat prate kot life in udt yoost teh same like your own selluf, Toctor. Tot prate kot yoost so much sense ass Reisen kot. Ovver, Toctor – Toctor” – the Doctor was giving his attention to Richling, who was explaining something – “Toctor, toandt you come here uxpectin’ to see nopoty sick, less-n udt iss Mr. Richlun.” He caught Richling’s face roughly between his hands, and then gave his back a caressing thwack. “Toctor, vot you dtink? Ve goin’ teh run prate-cawts mit copponic-essut kass. Tispense mit hawses!” He laughed long but softly, and smote Richling again as the three walked across the bakery yard abreast.

“Well?” said Dr. Sevier to Richling, in a low tone, “always working toward the one happy end.”

Richling had only time to answer with his eyes, when the baker, always clinging close to them, said, “Yes; if I toandt look oudt yet, he pe rich pefore Reisen.”

The Doctor looked steadily at Richling, stood still, and said, “Don’t hurry.”

But Richling swung playfully half around on his heel, dropped his glance, and jerked his head sidewise, as one who neither resented the advice nor took it. A minute later he drew from his breast-pocket a small, thick letter stripped of its envelope, and handed it to the Doctor, who put it into his pocket, neither of them speaking. The action showed practice. Reisen winked one eye laboriously at the Doctor and chuckled.

“See here, Reisen,” said the Doctor, “I want you to pack your trunk, take the late boat, and go to Biloxi or Pascagoula, and spend a month fishing and sailing.”

The baker pushed his fingers up under his hat, scratched his head, smiled widely, and pointed at Richling.

“Sendt him.”

The Doctor went and sat down with Reisen, and used every form of inducement that could be brought to bear; but the German had but one answer: Richling, Richling, not he. The Doctor left a prescription, which the baker took until he found it was making him sleep while Richling was at work, whereupon he amiably threw it out of his window.

It was no surprise to Dr. Sevier that Richling came to him a few days later with a face all trouble.

“How are you, Richling? How’s Reisen?”

“Doctor,” said Richling, “I’m afraid Mr. Reisen is” – Their eyes met.

“Insane,” said the Doctor.

“Yes.”

“Does his wife know whether he has ever had such symptoms before – in his life?”

“She says he hasn’t.”

“I suppose you know his pecuniary condition perfectly; has he money?”

“Plenty.”

“He’ll not consent to go away anywhere, I suppose, will he?”

“Not an inch.”

“There’s but one sensible and proper course, Richling; he must be taken at once, by force if necessary, to a first-class insane hospital.”

“Why, Doctor, why? Can’t we treat him better at home?”

The Doctor gave his head its well-known swing of impatience. “If you want to be criminally in error try that!”

“I don’t want to be in error at all,” retorted Richling.

“Then don’t lose twelve hours that you can save, but send him off as soon as process of court will let you.”

“Will you come at once and see him?” asked Richling, rising up.

“Yes, I’ll be there nearly as soon as you will. Stop; you had better ride with me; I have something special to say.” As the carriage started off, the Doctor leaned back in its cushions, folded his arms, and took a long, meditative breath. Richling glanced at him and said: —

“We’re both thinking of the same person.”

“Yes,” replied the Doctor; “and the same day, too, I suppose: the first day I ever saw her; the only other time that we ever got into this carriage together. Hmm! hmm! With what a fearful speed time flies!”

“Sometimes,” said the yearning husband, and apologized by a laugh. The Doctor grunted, looked out of the carriage window, and, suddenly turning, asked: —

“Do you know that Reisen instructed his wife about six months ago, in the event of his death or disability, to place all her interests in your hands, and to be guided by your advice in everything?”

“Oh!” exclaimed Richling, “he can’t do that! He should have asked my consent.”

“I suppose he knew he wouldn’t get it. He’s a cunning simpleton.”

“But, Doctor, if you knew this” – Richling ceased.

“Six months ago. Why didn’t I tell you?” said the physician. “I thought I would, Richling, though Reisen bade me not, when he told me; I made no promise. But time, that you think goes slow, was too fast for me.”

“I shall refuse to serve,” said Richling, soliloquizing aloud. “Don’t you see, Doctor, the delicacy of the position?”

“Yes, I do; but you don’t. Don’t you see it would be just as delicate a matter for you to refuse?”

Richling pondered, and presently said, quite slowly: —

“It will look like coming down out of the tree to catch the apples as they fall,” he said. “Why,” he added with impatience, “it lays me wide open to suspicion and slander.”

“Does it?” asked the Doctor, heartlessly. “There’s nothing remarkable in that. Did any one ever occupy a responsible position without those conditions?”

“But, you know, I have made some unscrupulous enemies by defending Reisen’s interests.”

“Um-hmm; what did you defend them for?”

Richling was about to make a reply; but the Doctor wanted none. “Richling,” he said, “the most of men have burrows. They never let anything decoy them so far from those burrows but they can pop into them at a moment’s notice. Do you take my meaning?”

“Oh, yes!” said Richling, pleasantly; “no trouble to understand you this time. I’ll not run into any burrow just now. I’ll face my duty and think of Mary.”

He laughed.

“Excellent pastime,” responded Dr. Sevier.

They rode on in silence.

“As to” – began Richling again, – “as to such matters as these, once a man confronts the question candidly, there is really no room, that I can see, for a man to choose: a man, at least, who is always guided by conscience.”

“If there were such a man,” responded the Doctor.

“True,” said John.

“But for common stuff, such as you and I are made of, it must sometimes be terrible.”

“I dare say,” said Richling. “It sometimes requires cold blood to choose aright.”

“As cold as granite,” replied the other.

They arrived at the bakery.

“O Doctor,” said Mrs. Reisen, proffering her hand as he entered the house, “my poor hussband iss crazy!” She dropped into a chair and burst into tears. She was a large woman, with a round, red face and triple chin, but with a more intelligent look and a better command of English than Reisen. “Doctor, I want you to cure him ass quick ass possible.”

“Well, madam, of course; but will you do what I say?”

“I will, certain shure. I do it yust like you tellin’ me.”

The Doctor gave her such good advice as became a courageous physician.

A look of dismay came upon her. Her mouth dropped open. “Oh, no, Doctor!” She began to shake her head. “I’ll never do tha-at; oh, no; I’ll never send my poor hussband to the crazy-house! Oh, no, sir; I’ll do not such a thing!” There was some resentment in her emotion. Her nether lip went up like a crying babe’s, and she breathed through her nostrils audibly.

“Oh, yes, I know!” said the poor creature, turning her face away from the Doctor’s kind attempts to explain, and lifting it incredulously as she talked to the wall, – “I know all about it. I’m not a-goin’ to put no sich a disgrace on my poor hussband; no, indeed!” She faced around suddenly and threw out her hand to Richling, who leaned against a door twisting a bit of string between his thumbs. “Why, he wouldn’t go, nohow, even if I gave my consents. You caynt coax him out of his room yet. Oh, no, Doctor! It’s my duty to keep him wid me an’ try to cure him first a little while here at home. That aint no trouble to me; I don’t never mind no trouble if I can be any help to my hussband.” She addressed the wall again.

“Well, madam,” replied the physician, with unusual tenderness of tone, and looking at Richling while he spoke, “of course you’ll do as you think best.”

“Oh! my poor Reisen!” exclaimed the wife, wringing her hands.

“Yes,” said the physician, rising and looking out of the window, “I am afraid it will be ruin to Reisen.”

“No, it won’t be such a thing,” said Mrs. Reisen, turning this way and that in her chair as the physician moved from place to place. “Mr. Richlin’,” – turning to him, – “Mr. Richlin’ and me kin run the business yust so good as Reisen.” She shifted her distressed gaze back and forth from Richling to the Doctor. The latter turned to Richling: —

“I’ll have to leave this matter to you.”

Richling nodded.

“Where is Reisen?” asked the Doctor. “In his own room, upstairs?” The three passed through an inner door.