Fire of Transformation

The book

Fire of Transformation - a story of love between a woman and the Divine, between soul and spirit, between earth and sky, unique and precious. this is a deeply moving and personal account of challenge and revelation, of joy, struggle and surrender, of the outer and inner journeying towards self-discovery.

Valeria Bonnazola (Gora Devi) was a young student in Milan when an inner prompting called her to India in a search for love, the love for God. There she encountered the legendary Hairakhan Babaji -- referred to by Yogananda in his book, Autobiography of a Yogi -- the revolutionary teacher and acclaimed Mahavatar who transformed her life completely.

The author

Gora Devi was born in 10th April 1946. She obtained a Doctor of Philosophy degree at the University Statale in Milan with a thesis on Utopia and the New World. Travelling to India in 1972 she spent 12 years with Babaji, the renowned Yogi of the Himalayas. she was one of the first Western people to meet Babaji and his first Italian disciple. The life journey on which she embarked is both mystical and entrancing, simple and yet extraordinary; a story of courage and endurance, of human frailty and the absolute wonder of human potential. She continues to live primarily in India.

Gora Devi

Fire of Transformation

My life with Babaji

Table of Contents

Cover

The book / The author

Title

Table of Contents

Foreword

Editor's note

Preface by the author

Community Life

Trip to India

Mother India

Meeting the Great Master, Babaji

Vrindavan

New Encounters

Tibetan Initiation - Lama Sakya Trinzin

Love Story

Return to Babaji

Trip to Nepal

Lama Tubten Yeshe

Returning to India

Training at Hairakhan

Experiences in Dina Pani

A Winter at Hairakhan

Okhaldunga, Madhuvan, Almora

Benares - Assam

Return to Hairakhan

Return to Italy

At Hairakhan Again

The West has come to Hairakhan

Mahasamadhi

Babaji Invisible

New Beginnings

Glossary

Imprint

Foreword

by Peter Dawkins

In this book Gora Devi writes of her personal experiences as a disciple of Shri Hairakhan Wale Baba, the Mahavatar Babaji who appeared publicly in India at the end of the last century and millennium. It is a beautiful account - beautiful in its honesty - and is based upon the diary that Gora Devi kept during her time with Babaji. As she says herself in her own preface, this diary is intended to be a personal witness to a divine encounter. I always find it very touching, very moving, to hear or read about someone's personal encounter with Babaji, and even more so with Gora Devi, who was one of the few people in the 1970's to become a disciple of Babaji rather than just a devotee, and to be by Babaji's side during the last crucial years of his public appearance as Hairakhan Baba. This diary concerns Gora Devi's life and experiences with Babaji as a disciple during the years 1972-1984, and gives a unique insight not only into Babaji and his way of teaching (or one of his ways, as he himself is beyond limitation), but also into the transformational process undertaken by his beloved disciple.

Hairakhan Baba is known as a Mahavatar - a Great Avatar. Avatar means 'incarnation or manifestation of God', Maha means 'great'. In the Hindu Saivite tradition, Babaji is the Mahavatar of Samba-Sada-Shiva, the Supreme Being who is described as 'He who gives happiness at all times'. When he appeared in 1970 in the Indian foothills of the Himalayas, at Hairakhan, Babaji was recognised as such by many great yogis and saints, who were called to him and who had been preparing for his reappearance. Babaji has many names to describe him, amongst them being the Mahayogi (i.e. the Great Yogi or Yogi of all yogis) and Visva-Guru (i.e. the Guru of all gurus), who gave the world the yogic teachings and who has been with this world from its beginning, manifesting himself whenever appropriate throughout the ages. It is said that such manifestations rarely occur and that when they do it is when a major crisis confronts humanity and the planet, and the world needs greater help than can be given by an ordinary Avatar. Such a time is now, as we move from one Great Age (i.e. a 26,000-year cycle of twelve zodiacal Ages) into a new Great Age, and out of the Kali Yuga or Dark Age that ends each Great Age with a death and purifying, transformational process.

In the Hindu tradition Shiva is the god-name usually associated with that aspect of Deity which brings about death of the old form and transformation (or transmutation) into a new form of expression. However, because this process brings about the birth of each new creation, Shiva is known as the Creator as well as the Destroyer/Transformer. He is also the Maintainer or Preserver of what He creates. In other words, Shiva is the divine Trinity of Creator (Brahma), Preserver (Vishnu) and Destroyer (Rudra). He is often referred to as Samba-Sada-Shiva ('the Ever Holy Shiva'), or as Mahesvara ('the Great Lord'), names that correspond to Jehovah, the Lord God of Hebrew and Christian tradition.

Shiva is that divine Spirit or essence of life, light and consciousness that is everywhere and out of which all things are made. Sometimes it is called the great ocean of life, sometimes the holy breath of life, sometimes the Word or 'Om'. We all share this same essence, and in varying degrees we manifest it consciously and beautifully in our human forms of expression. To the degree that we can understand and truly manifest this divinity we become devotees, disciples, initiates, saints, Adepts, Masters and Great Masters - or, in Hindu terminology, sadhus, jnanis, yogis, Rishis, Sidhas and Avatars. The greatest of these in our world is Babaji ('Beloved or Holy Father'), the Mahavatar and Teacher of all teachers. It is very likely that he is the same great soul as the one known in Western tradition as Idris or Enoch, who is described in Rabbinical literature as the first human being in this world to achieve full enlightenment and rise to the highest level of evolution, to become the supreme Messiah or Christ and the Teacher of all other teachers, Master of all other masters. I believe that this is so; but even this is too limited a viewpoint, as realisation of the Divine is simply the moment in time when we as human souls consciously apprehend and are able to manifest to others our own divinity, which has always existed from the beginning of time.

Although he has chosen to always be in this world, in order to help it, normally Babaji resides behind the scenes, seen and recognised by only a few. It is said that he, as Mahavatar, materialises his body directly when needed and is not born physically of any woman. Normally he maintains his youthfulness even whilst embodied, appearing as the ever-young and beautiful youth; but this is clearly not always the case, as Babaji can do whatever he pleases and sometimes he chooses otherwise. He has appeared young, old, thin, fat, in sequence or simultaneously, in one body or several, to various people. Likewise, as Mahavatar he is said to be immortal even in his physical form or forms, yet this cannot be understood in the ordinary way: death is not always what it seems. Babaji plays a divine drama. He plays with elements. He can appear where and when he wishes, in one or more bodies simultaneously, physical or subtle, and of whatever appearance and age he chooses, and can dissolve them into light or otherwise as and when he decides.

In his last public manifestation - the one in which Gora Devi was involved and which is the subject of this book - Babaji was referred to as the '1008 Baba'. In this he had an exquisitely beautiful form, but one which he continually changed during the fourteen years of his public appearance. The public manifestation previous to that one (1800-1922), which was referred to by Paramahansa Yogananda in his widely distributed and influential book, The Autobiography of a Yogi, was as the '108 Baba'. Both manifestations were as the Hairakhan Baba, for Babaji chose Hairakhan as his place of manifestation, for a specific purpose.

Hairakhan (a name derived from Hiriya Khand, meaning 'sanctified area') is a place close to and including a tiny, remote village in the Nainital District of Uttar Pradesh, in the Himalayan foothills of India, twenty-six kilometres east of the market town of Haldwani. The village lies on the bank of the holy river Guatama Ganga, opposite a sacred cave that lies at the foot of the Kumaon Mount Kailash. This mountain is the original Kailash, the physical representation of Mount Meru, the sacred mountain marking the central axis or heart of the world and home of Lord Shiva. It was much more recently in human history that the second Mount Kailash (i.e. the Tibetan Mount Kailash) was 'found' further north in the higher peaks of the Himalayas, on the northern side of Lake Mansarovar, as a kind of substitute for the original. The Guatama Ganga flows underground from Lake Mansarovar and surfaces not far from Hairakhan. The sacred cave, like the Kumaon Mount Kailash, is said to date back to the time of creation, and is described in the Shiva Puranas as a dwelling place of the Gods and the place where Shiva (or Babaji) periodically retreats for meditation and tapasya (ascetic practices).

As '108 Baba', Babaji appeared in about the year 1800 to Hairakhan villagers as a bright light on top of the Kumaon Mount Kailash. Eventually the Mahavatar emerged from this light as a beautiful youth, condensing his body out of the dazzling light. Having stayed at Hairakhan for a few years he then travelled around the Kumaon region, gathering to himself certain devotees and disciples, great saints and yogis, and at times crowds of people came to celebrate festivals with him. In the 1840's he constructed with his own hands and the help of the villagers an octagonal temple (representing Shiva's eight­fold manifest power) on a small hill opposite to and on the other side of the river from the Kailash cave. Besides being at Hairakhan, Babaji was seen by many people in different places, and performed many miracles through the power of his love. Having promised to return again, in August 1922 Babaji went with some of his devotees to the confluence of the Kali and Gauri rivers and, stepping into and then sitting on the surface of the water, he dematerialised into a ball of light in front of their eyes and 'disappeared'. In the following years, however, he appeared to many of his close devotees in dreams, visions or even direct physical form.

The great saint and sidha-yogi, Mahendra Baba, who spent his life searching for and preparing for the return of Babaji, was one of those to whom Babaji appeared physically. Babaji gave him certain signs and a unique, secret mantra by which he, Babaji, could be recognised when he next appeared publicly. Mahendra Baba passed on this knowledge to his disciple, Shri Vishnu Datt Shastriji, who duly recognised and confirmed the reality of Babaji in the Mahavatar's next public appearance. Shastriji subsequently became Babaji's 'priest'. Mahendra Baba also foretold the year, 1970, when Babaji would make his appearance, and prepared the world for this event through his writings, teachings and building of ashrams.

In June 1970 Babaji was duly 'discovered' in the sacred cave at the foot of the Kumaon Mount Kailash. Gradually he drew to himself more and more people, to visit him at Hairakhan, to undergo purification and training under his guidance, and to build an ashram and further temples. After fourteen years of extraordinary activity and demonstrations of divine love, and having foretold the date of the event, he underwent mahasamadhi.

It is said that we all need a guru to help us achieve liberation from mortal attachments and impurity of living, and thus to realise the Divine. Guru means 'the remover of darkness'. Sometimes the guru is seen, sometimes not seen. Sometimes he is physically present, sometimes not. Sometimes he is male, sometimes female. At all times he is within us, as we are each part of the Divine, and likewise we are always within the Guru. But we have to gradually realise this and what it means. Several of my friends and acquaintances met the 1008 Hairakhan Babaji in his physical form, and Gora Devi was one of them. I did not do so: I met the Great Master in another way, and he guides me still. I did not have to undergo the huge shock and lesson of detachment from the Master's physical presence when he left his body in 1984 - which is one of the final things that disciples have to learn - but Gora Devi did. This story of hers is a wonderful story of courage and devotion, and of love shared between two friends, one divine and the other human.

Peter Dawkins

Roses Farmhouse

January 2002

Editor's note

I first met Gora many years ago, a humble and unassuming person, peaceful yet with a quiet strength. In time I discovered other facets; a very animated person with a playful sense of humour, determined and sincerely dedicated to God. Out of this contact and friendship came the opportunity to be involved with the production of this book. If I had any doubts, they dissolved after reading the text. It is remarkable in its honesty, beauty and intimacy, appearing almost childlike in its innocence; a woman's search for identity and for love, and through her encounter with Babaji and his continuing presence her heart opens to the flowering of divine love.

Gora's diary is as much a mystical journey as it is a distinctly human story, in which simple everyday events are interwoven with a divine presence that is extraordinary, infinite and mesmerizing, where the tangible is entwined with the intangible. Alongside immeasurable joy there also exists pain, hardships and continual challenge. At times her story is provocative, difficult to understand or accept, sometimes it all appears like a magical fairytale, at other times a heavenly utopia or bizarre drama, yet within the humanity of the events there are echoes in all of our lives, within the words an energy that subtly finds its way to the heart of the reader. The presence of Babaji, felt if not completely understood, increasingly pervades the text and transports meaning beyond the words on the page.

A number of years passed before Gora considered writing this book, before realizing that the period of time spent with Babaji had also been a preparation for the role of author as well. She recalled that it had been Babaji who, in so many ways, had encouraged her to keep her diary, and when initially asked if she would write her story she replied, 'When Baba tells me to...' The original Italian version was finally published in 1993 and is updated in this English edition by the inclusion of an extra chapter both at the beginning and at the end.

It has been suggested that union with the Divine, whether in form or formless, is the relationship for which the heart of each and every human being truly yearns. Within this book the reader finds that they themselves are travelling on a profound and illuminating journey, one that is truly experiential, at times challenging, not always comfortable and rife with the unexpected; and what emerges so abundantly clearly is that the Fire of Transformation which emanates from the essence of Babaji is truly eternal. It is as vibrant, alive, accessible and transformative today as it has always been.

M.H.

Preface by the author

I hesitated for a long time before deciding to write this book, as it is very difficult to speak about Babaji in words. His essence is subtle, occult and can only be grasped by opening oneself to another dimension of consciousness, to the magic of one's heart.

Babaji often taught through a gesture, a smile, an incident. What impressed me most when I first met Him was His great silence and His capacity to communicate through it. Babaji is 'the Presence', the manifestation of the eternal mystery, the other shore of existence. His infinite love is the bridge between us and the great Truth, between the human and the Divine. His physical form is a marriage of heaven and earth.

Many people have been touched forever by His call and our lives have been completely changed. The first word He spoke to me when I met Him, was 'God', and immediately after He added, 'God is love.' From that time on my life has been a search to realize the meaning of these words.

This diary is intended to be a personal witness to a divine encounter, and it is hoped that it will give some understanding of Babaji and His message.

Gora Devi

[Gora Devi - from the Sanskrit meaning 'white goddess',

pronounced: Gor'a Day'vee]

Community Life

Milan, 15 September 1970

Yesterday evening, for the first time since returning from my summer holidays, I went to Brera. It's an interesting part of the city where artists live and gather together, an old quarter of small streets, elegant buildings and numerous restaurants, in many ways not unlike Montparnasse in Paris. I decided to be truly courageous and wear all my hippie clothes, my long Indian skirt, the elaborate sandals from Amsterdam. People from Milan generally have a decidedly narrow outlook on life, they are bourgeois and look disapprovingly at me when I walk down the street dressed like this. No matter, I have decided that I will be indifferent to their reactions, even going so far as to be provocative if possible, and turn this into my own small, private revolution.

In Brera I met up with everybody again, all my old friends, some of them recently returned from India. They all go around dressed even more outrageously than myself, with multicoloured clothes and very long hair. We eat at Fiorinos, a small, cheap restaurant, just perfect for us. It's as if we take refuge in the small streets of this old quarter of the city because it remains cosy and homely, unlike the rest of the metropolis of Milan, which is grey, cold, hostile and sad. Most people's lives appear to revolve around earning money, just so that they might continue living in a small flat in which they can enclose themselves, as if in a prison; a safe, small prison. People appear afraid of each other, of communication, of love. They are fearful of love and of sex, because love means to open up, to expand, to break through so many barriers. I don't want to end up like them, and that's why I haven't looked for a job yet, even though I'm afraid it could all lead to possible imprisonment.

The radical political movement is also falling apart, the student movement, the revolutionary groups. They have been unable to achieve or even propose anything really new for our society. I feel that the only hope for change and for a new world are the 'hippie' groups that are around, my flower children friends, because they have the courage to search deep within themselves for answers.

I remember Sylvia, my psychoanalyst, telling me that no outside revolution is possible before an inner revolution takes place. It may be that these people smoke dope, take LSD, but it is said that marijuana helps to expand one's consciousness and that LSD is able to open the heart. These experiences can reveal a wider dimension of oneself, a psychic dimension, where one can feel the existence of a divine reality. I have always refused to believe in God, but these days so many magical things are happening to me and realizations are taking place, that it's beginning to break down my insensitive, rational mind. Many of my friends have been to India where they have met spiritual masters, gurus, holders of a forgotten ancient wisdom.

I've met a man called Lorenzo, who wanders around Brera as if he inhabits an Indian temple, dressed in long, orange robes, holding a trident in his hand. Tiziana and Zizi, two capable and independent gypsy women, sit on the pavement knitting and chatting. Zizi has an earring in her nose and she knits rainbow-coloured woollen caps for everybody. A very old friend called Gianni also spends time in Brera. He is a beautiful being with large, green eyes, gentle and ethereal, who is a painter and is presently planning to paint all the bare walls of Milan with designs and messages to change the world. He acts just like a child, thirsty for there to be a magical dimension in his life. Life for him resembles a play and he wants to discover a joyful drama in which we can all take a part, street theatre, a continuous happening. Perhaps we are childish, but what is the purpose of living if we don't search for the real meaning of existence? At least we are prepared to make an effort, to try, rather than ending up little more than wealthy animals only happy with material things; in fact not even that, more likely to be unhappy and greedy.

17 September 1970

Many people visit our community house in 'Via Mayr', especially in the evening. We talk, smoke, make travel plans. It's still summertime in Milan, but the air in the city is polluted, suffocating; nowhere is it possible to find a pleasant, green space. The lyrics of one of our songs says: 'My friend, I have never seen a cemetery so full of life.' At night people want to go out, meet friends, exchange ideas, be loving towards each other.

In the community we try to live in an innovative way by being creative with our daily routine and working together; it's difficult but we are full of enthusiasm. Much of the time we don't seem to be able to maintain a sense of order though, we are lazy, indisciplined, we don't keep the place clean. The other day the sink was full of unwashed dishes and Marco pinned up a piece of paper on the wall with a teaching for us all: 'An unclean house is a house without love.' We are attempting to change our lifestyle and thereby our sense of humanity.

The 1968 student movement failed because the individuals themselves hadn't yet changed and so enable a real transformation; as one of the slogans in France in 1968 prophesied: 'The revolution will be total, or will not be.' There have been many people who have believed in the ideal of communism, but is it really possible to share everything in life, to love and help each other, overcome selfishness, have integrity in everything that we do and also be warriors of truth? Once again the revolutionary groups of 1968 used the outmoded Marxist ideology instead of creating fresh ideals for a possible new world.

Our house is very beautiful, big, with a terrace; it would be cheap to buy, because it's old and hasn't been renovated for a long time, but to us it's already a palace. There is a communal living room, seven metres long, in the middle of which is a decorous yellow brocade tent resembling a theatre stage, our magical show of life. Normally nine or ten people live here, all of us coming from different backgrounds, some involved in politics, while others are psychologists, students, a lawyer. We have open discussions about many things, mainly psychology and revolution and the future of our world. Recently I finished my exams at the University and I am now researching my thesis based on 'Utopia in the history of man', a subject very close to our own experience. We resemble a large, alternative family, looking especially for a quality of love amongst us, our greatest ideal. It is as if we are sharing in an important, historical experiment, unique, new, like explorers of a New Age. We cook vegetarian food, smoke dope, organize parties and workshops, and publish various underground magazines, all the time reading, writing, talking.

The house is not only close to the University but also to Brera and everything that happens there. So many friends come to visit us and sexual relationships are a very important means of expression, our discovery of freedom and love, of contact, union. Even though he knows I'm still quite an atheist, my boyfriend Giuliano has given me some Buddhist books to read, and I do accept that the rational, scientific mind isn't able to know the whole of reality, it can't explain feelings in the heart, can't explain telepathic communication. Science and technology have taken human beings far away from nature, linking people to a reality that is mechanical, robotic, without a soul. Our cities have become stressful and depressing places, people living in isolation from each other, captured by television and the mass media, busily engaged in the pursuit of material toys, like restless children never to be satisfied. In order to earn money, humans are devastating the earth, cheating other people, adulterating food, polluting the natural resources through a lack of awareness, poisoning themselves. In some countries on the earth people waste so many resources, while elsewhere other people still die from hunger; where has humanitarianism gone nowadays?

I know that what we are really seeking is a change in people's hearts, for a revolution of the soul of the earth, and that it is communities like ours which are spiritual research centres. I believe that it is now possible for us to change our society, but only if we create change from inside it, slowly, slowly, with groups of people beginning to live in a different way.

3 October 1970

I am considering the idea of visiting India in order to study Eastern philosophy for a while, maybe it can offer some different answers to the puzzle of life.

Giuliano explained to me that the East and the West have very diverse opinions about life. In the West people pursue all their desires thinking that to fulfil one' s desires will bring satisfaction, bring them happiness, whereas in the East people think that desire itself is the cause of all suffering and that peace and real happiness are only found at the end of desire, in Nirvana.

The author 1970

18 February 1971

I have completed my degree in philosophy and my professor had nothing but praise for my thesis about Utopia. Now I would like to organize an experimental kindergarten, because I believe that in order to bring about change in people it is necessary to begin in childhood, when ideas and feelings are first shaped. I no longer have any contact with the political groups, because they have adopted very violent tactics and I don't agree with that approach at all.

Giuliano has spoken to me about Mahatma Gandhi, the great Indian saint and politician, who defeated a mighty country like Britain through a widespread and well organized non-violent movement. Our true strength is spiritual and if we really want to achieve something we should become spiritual warriors because our true power is the power of a new consciousness. We must live truth and show it to the world. Our revolutionary spirit need not die, but we should be able to change reality with new tools. Violence is an old technique and belongs to the past.

10 June 1971

It's summertime again and once more large groups of people meet up in the various haunts in Brera, many returning from India, describing their encounters with Indian gurus and Tibetan lamas. I have met Piero and Claudio, two young men who became Buddhists in Nepal and when they recount their experiences to me I find myself beginning to be really curious about India.

We invade the little streets like a new tribe, with our guitars, posters, outrageous clothes, smoking joints together, similar to the ritual pipe of the Native American tribes. We talk endlessly about India as if we'd discovered a new planet, about our dreams, our longing for an authentic existence, for a distant, mysterious wisdom. Many people have taken LSD and tell of psychic, inner journeys, exploring the deep mystery of the human mind, infinite in its potential. It seems that LSD can open up certain areas of the brain which otherwise remain unexplored, resulting in telepathic, divine experiences, unknown beforehand. It's like sudden enlightenment, a new knowledge of oneself. One has to be ready to risk everything, to die psychologically in order to be reborn in to a new reality, like the hero prepared to combat any peril in order to discover the truth, willing to undergo all manner of darkness in order to find the light.

Conventional members of the public think we are crazy, addicted to drugs, but in fact we prefer to be outsiders and risk ending up in jail or prison, rather than be addicted to television and advertising. Regular society rejects the psychedelic drugs, but readily accepts alcohol, because alcohol makes one oblivious to everything, unconscious, just ready to buy the advertiser's products.

Our movement is becoming an underground organization, virtually secret because society at large is unwilling to accept us, but we work on with a growing awareness of the deep changes happening and the possibility of a different world. Some of my friends have gone to live in the countryside, discovering a simpler way of life close to nature.

I think we can only change others by offering an example. People criticize us, call us freaks, drug addicts, but the psychedelic drugs are a medicine for our minds, a cure against mental rigidity and hardness, they help us to discover our soul, our heart, blocked by the lack of pure love. We begin to feel that life is a cosmic film, directed by a divine power to which we have been blind for too long.