Fenelon's Treatise on the Education of Daughters

CHAPTER XII

Continuation of the Duties of Women

To the duties previously enumerated, may be added the art of choosing and retaining servants. We should employ such as have honor and religion: their offices should be distinctly ascertained: the time and trouble which each thing requires, the manner of doing it well, and the expense attending it, should also be considered. It would be absurd (for instance) to find fault with a servant if you wished her to dress any thing quicker than it could be dressed; and if you have not some knowledge of the quantity and price of the ingredients which compose dishes, you will be liable to become the dupe or the scourge of your domestics; so that a knowledge of these matters is essential to a mistress of a family.

It is also necessary to know their humours, to manage their tempers, and to regulate in a christian-like manner this little household republic, which is, in general, sufficiently turbulent. Authority, is absolutely essential in this respect; for the more unreasonable servants are, the more they should be made obedient by fear: but as they are your brethren in Christ, and members of his kingdom, a rigid authority should never be exercised towards them, unless previous persuasion is found to fail.

Strive, therefore, to be beloved by your servants, without descending to low familiarity; enter not into conversation with them, but at the same time do not be backward in occasionally speaking, with kindness and affability, respecting their wants and concerns; and let them be assured of finding in you a compassionate counsellor. Do not check them too eagerly in their faults – appear neither surprised nor dissatisfied, provided you think them not incorrigible: let them gently hear reason; and submit frequently to little losses by their service, that you may be able coolly to convince them, that it is not from impetuosity and chagrin that you correct them, but rather for their own, than your, interest.

It would be no easy task to accustom young women of fashion to adopt a conduct, at once so amiable and benevolent. The impatience and ardor of youth, united with the false idea they are apt to entertain of their birth, often induce them to treat their domestics pretty nearly the same as they do their horses – they imagine that servants are any thing but what they really are – and made solely for the convenience of their masters. Endeavour to shew how revolting these principles are to modesty in yourself, and to humanity towards your neighbour.

Let it be comprehended that men are not born to be slaves – that it is a brutal error to suppose our fellow mortals are created to flatter our laziness and pride; that servitude being established against the natural equality of mankind, we should endeavour to soften it as much as possible; that masters themselves, though above their servants in situation, are not free from errors, and therefore should not expect an exemption from them in domestics; especially as they have not had the benefit of instruction and good example – and lastly, if servants become good for nothing by serving ill, masters also, frequently, become so, by being served well: for a facility of accommodation in every wish, and an immediate gratification in every desire, only softens and effeminates the soul, and renders it peevish and irritable under every trifling inconvenience.

Nothing is so well calculated to effect this domestic government, as the being early initiated in it. Give a young woman something to manage herself, on condition of her rendering you some account of it: this confidence will delight her, for youth is highly pleased when it is thought worthy of confidence, and capable of doing serious business. The example of Queen Margaret is a fine illustration of this. That princess informs us, in her memoirs, that the most sensible pleasure she ever experienced, was in seeing the queen, her mother, begin to converse with her, when she was very young, as with a person of years and maturity – she felt transported with joy on entering into the secrets of state with the queen and her brother the Duke of Anjou, reflecting that, not long ago, she had been immersed in the pastimes of children. Overlook the faults of a child in her first attempts at these things, and sacrifice something in order that she may ultimately gain instruction. Make her sensible, in a mild manner, of what she should have said or done, to avoid the inconveniencies into which she has been betrayed. Relate to her what has happened to yourself, and be not anxious to suppress faults, similar to her own, which you committed when young. Thus will you inspire her with confidence; without which, all education is but a formal wearisome task.

Teach a girl to read and write correctly. It is a shameful thing, but too common, to see women of understanding and good breeding, who cannot accurately pronounce what they read: either they stammer, or have a sort of singing or whine in their reading – whereas good reading consists in a simple and natural, but firm and even, tone of voice. They are, moreover, sometimes grossly deficient in orthography; either as to the manner of forming, or connecting, their letters when writing: at any rate they should be taught to write straight, and in a character neat and legible.

A girl should know the grammar of her own language; not, however, that she is to be taught by rule, as schoolboys are taught the Latin language – but that she be used to distinguish the different tenses, in an obvious and easy manner; to make use of proper terms; and to explain their thoughts, in a way, at once clear and concise. By these means you will enable her one day to teach her own children to speak accurately without previous study. It is well known that in ancient Rome, the mother of the Gracchi contributed greatly, by a sound education, to improve the language of her children, who became afterwards such eminent characters.

Females should also be instructed in the first four rules of arithmetic; namely, in addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division; which will be of essential use to them in keeping accounts. This, though a very important, is a very disagreeable, occupation with many people; but early habits, joined to a facility of quick reckoning, by the help of rules, will overcome every antipathy, and enable us to arrange the most perplexed accounts. No one can be ignorant that a correct method of keeping them is often productive of good order throughout an establishment.

It will be prudent also to give them a knowledge of the principal rules of justice: for example, of the difference between a gift and a thing bequeathed; between a contract, an entail, and a copartnership of inheritance; the general rules of law, or the particular customs of a country, which render these things valid; what is exclusive, and what is common, property; what goods are moveable, and what immoveable. When women marry, they will find a knowledge of these things of great importance to them.

But, at the same time, convince them, how incapable they are of entering deeply into the subtilties of law: how much the law itself, by the weakness of human reason, is subject to obscurity, and doubtful rules: how it varies: how uncertain every thing is that depends upon judicial decision, clear and upright as it may seem: how ruinous and insupportable is the law's delay, even in the most obvious cases.¹³

All this is of importance for women to know, in order to abate their fondness for lawsuits, and to prevent their trusting implicitly to counsellors, who would dissuade them from peaceful measures. When they are widows, or mistresses of their estates in any other way, they may do well to hear their agents, but not blindly follow them. They should act with the utmost caution in any suits their agents may advise them to undertake; and consult men of greater ability, and such as are more inclined to recommend the advantages of compromise: in short they should be assured, that the best ability in law causes, is, to foresee the mischiefs of them, and to know how they may be avoided.

Young women of rank and large fortune should be acquainted with the duties more particularly attached to great estates: tell them therefore, what should be done, to prevent the abuses, violence, tricks and treacheries so common in the country; how they ought to establish little schools and charitable societies, for the relief of the sick and needy: shew them also the handicraft trades, that may be set on foot in certain countries, to help the poor; and above all, how they may be taught useful knowledge and christian conduct; this however will lead to a detail too long to be here discussed.

¹⁴These instructions having been attended to, I think it may not be improper to allow young women, according to their leisure and capacity, the perusal of profane or classical writers, provided there be nothing in them to inflame or mislead the passions: these will be a means also of giving them a distaste for plays and romances. Put into their hands, therefore, the Greek and Roman historians; they will there see prodigies of courage and disinterestedness: let them be acquainted likewise with the history of their own country, which has its excellencies also, and with that of the neighbouring or foreign countries, judiciously written. All this will serve to enlarge their understandings, and to fill their hearts with noble sentiments, provided you guard against vanity and affectation. It is generally thought a necessary part of a good education, for a young lady of rank to be taught the Italian and Spanish languages: for my part I see no use in these acquirements, unless the lady is to be connected with some Spanish or Italian princess:¹⁵ besides these two languages often lead them to books that are dangerous, and which might increase the faults to which they are liable; there is much to lose, and little to be gained, by these studies. Latin might be of some use; even in cultivating the elegancies of language, they will find the Latin more perfect than the Italian and Spanish, which are full of quaint conceits, and a wantonness of imagination bordering on extravagance: Latin however should be taught to young women of good judgment and discreet conduct only; who will set no greater value on this study than it deserves; who will renounce all vain curiosity, and have no other view than their own edification.

I would allow also, but with great care, the perusal of works of eloquence and poetry, if I saw they had a taste for them, and solidity of judgment enough to confine themselves to their real use: but fearful of agitating too much their lively imaginations, I would have the utmost caution observed in this respect: every thing that may awaken the sentiments of love, seems to me the more dangerous in proportion as it is softened and disguised.

Music and Painting require the same precautions; all these arts are of the same taste and tendency: as to music, we know that the ancients thought nothing was more pernicious to a well regulated republic, than to admit an effeminate melody: it enervates men, unbending and sensualizing their minds: languishing and passionate tones please only, by subjecting the soul to the seducement of the senses, till it becomes intoxicated by them. It was on this account, that the magistrates of Sparta broke all the instruments, the harmony of which was too delicate; and this was one of the most important parts of their policy. On the same account Plato strictly forbids all the luxurious tones of the Asiatic music; and christians, who ought never to pursue pleasure only for the sake of pleasure, are under much stronger obligations to guard themselves against these dangerous entertainments.

Poetry and music, directed to their true end, may be of excellent use to excite in the soul, lively and sublime sentiments of virtue. How many of the books of scripture of the poetical kind, according to all appearance were sung by the Hebrews. Songs were the first memorials which preserved more distinctly, the tradition of divine truths among men, before the invention of writing. We see how powerful music has been among the heathen nations, in elevating their minds above the sentiments of the vulgar: and the church has employed it,¹⁶ for the consolation of her children, in celebrating the praises of God. We ought not therefore to abandon these arts, which the spirit of God himself hath consecrated.

Music and poetry employed on sacred subjects, would have a powerful influence in destroying the relish for profane pleasures. But while our present prejudices prevail, these arts cannot be cultivated without danger. Lose no time, therefore, in making a young woman who is strongly susceptible of these impressions, sensible of what charms may be found in music, even while it is confined to subjects of religion: if she has a good voice and a taste for music, never hope to keep her in ignorance of it; to forbid it will only increase her passion for it. It will be much better to give it a proper direction, than to endeavour to stifle it.

Painting is more easily convertible to good purposes; besides, it belongs in some degree to women; their needlework cannot properly be executed without it. I know they might be confined to employments that are simple and require no skill; but as I think we should contrive to employ the head and hands of women of condition at the same time, I could wish they had employments in which art and ingenuity might season their labours with some entertainment. Their work cannot have any real beauty, unless it be conducted by a knowledge of the rules of drawing; for want of which, what one sees in stuffs, lace, and embroidery, is done in an ill taste; all is confused; without design, without proportion.¹⁷ These things are reckoned fine, because they cost a great deal of labour to those who work them, and a great deal of money to those who buy them. The lustre dazzles those who do not closely examine, or are not skilful in these matters. The women on this subject have made rules of their own, which if any man should contest, he would be thought capricious and absurd. However, they might correct themselves by an attention to painting, and so be able, at a moderate expense, and to their great entertainment, to execute works of a noble variety and beauty, which would bid defiance to the caprice and uncertainty of fashion.

There is nothing which women ought to guard more against, or despise, than living in idleness. Let them consider that the first christians of whatever condition of life, all applied themselves to some employment, not as an amusement, but as a serious, useful, constant business. The order of nature, the penance imposed on the first man, and in him upon all his posterity, the great example which our Saviour Jesus Christ, hath set before us in this respect, all concur to engage us, each in his station, to a life of labour.

In the education of a young woman, her condition ought to be regarded, and the situation and cast of life she will probably move in. Take care that her expectations do not exceed her fortune and rank; if they do, they will cost her many sorrows; what would have made her happy, will become disgusting to her, if she has cast a wishful eye on a superior condition. If a girl is to live in the country, turn her attention betimes to the occupations of the country; keep her a stranger to the amusements of the town: shew her the blessings of a simple active life. If her situation be among the middle ranks of the town, let her not come near the people of the court; this intercourse will only serve to give her unbecoming and ridiculous airs: confine her within the bounds of her own station, and point out to her good examples among those of the same rank: form her mind to what will be the business of her life: teach her the management of a tradesman's family: the care that ought to be taken of his income, whether from returns out of the country, or rents of houses in the town: what belongs to the education of her children; in short the whole detail of business or of commerce, into which you foresee she may probably be thrown, when she is married.¹⁸

CHAPTER XIII

Of Governesses

I foresee that this plan of education, will pass with many for a chimerical project: it requires, they will say, an uncommon share of discernment, patience, and skill, to carry it into execution: where are the governesses capable of following, or even understanding it? But it should be considered that when we are laying down rules for the best education that can be given to children, we are not to give imperfect rules; it is not matter of reprehension then, that in such an enquiry, we aim at what is most perfect. It is true, we cannot go so far in practice as our thoughts go upon paper, where they meet with no obstruction; but after all, though we are absolutely unable to arrive at perfection in this business, it will be far from useless to know what perfection is, and to attempt it at any rate; which is the best means of approaching it as nearly as we can. Besides, my rules do not proceed upon the supposition of any thing extraordinary in the disposition of children, or a concurrence of circumstances happily calculated for a perfect education; on the contrary I endeavour to apply remedies, to tempers naturally bad, or which have been spoilt: I calculate the common mistakes in education, and have recourse to the most simple methods of correcting, in the whole or in part, what has absolute need of correction.

It is true, you will not find in this little work, the means of giving success to an education neglected or ill conducted; but is there any thing strange in this? Is it not the most that one can wish, to obtain simple rules, by the observance of which, a good education may be acquired. I confess we may dispense, and do dispense generally, with much less than I propose; but it is likewise very obvious that children suffer materially by this neglect. The road I am pointing out, though tedious in appearance, is in reality the shortest, as it leads directly to the object we are in pursuit of. The other, which is that of fear and of a superficial culture of the understanding, short as it may seem, is in reality long; as it hardly ever attains to the only true end of education, which is to form the mind, and inspire it with a sincere love of virtue. The greater part of those who have gone this latter road, have to commence their journey anew, at a moment when their education seems finished; and after having passed the first years of their entrance into the world, in committing errors which are often irreparable, they are forced to learn from experience, and their own reflections, those maxims, of which that wretched and superficial education had left them in ignorance. It should be observed moreover, that the first services demanded in behalf of children, and which inexperienced people regard as oppressive and impracticable, will preserve them from troubles much more grievous; and remove obstacles which become insurmountable, in the course of an education less accurate and skilful.

Lastly it should be noticed that in order to execute this plan of education, the business does not consist so much in doing any thing which requires great talents, as in avoiding the gross errors previously enumerated. There will be often nothing more wanting than to be calm and patient with children: to be watchful over them: to inspire them with confidence: to give plain and intelligible answers to their little questions: to let their natural dispositions work in order to know them the better: and to correct them with temper, when they are mistaken, or in fault. It is not reasonable to expect that a good education can be conducted by a bad governess; it is enough to deliver rules which will give success to one, moderately qualified: of such a person it is not expecting too much that she be possessed of good sense, a mild temper, and the fear of God; such a one will find nothing in this treatise subtile or abstracted, and if she should not understand the whole of it, she will comprehend the substance at least; and that will be sufficient. Make her read it over many times, and be at the trouble of reading it with her; allow her the liberty of stopping you at any thing she does not understand, or of the truth of which she is not convinced; then let her put these instructions into practice, and if you should observe, that in talking to the child, she loses sight of the rules which she had agreed to follow, correct her privately in as mild a manner as possible. This application will be wearisome to you at first, but if you are the father or mother of the child, it is your indispensable duty. Besides, your difficulties will not be of long continuance: your governess, if she be sensible and well-disposed, will learn more of your method in a month by practice, than by long arguments; and she will soon be able to go on in the right way by herself. There will be this further circumstance to relieve you, that she will find in this little work, the principal topics of conversation, with children, upon the most important subjects already detailed for her; so that she will hardly have any thing to do but to follow them; thus she will possess a collection of the discourses she should hold with children, upon subjects the most difficult for them to understand; it is a kind of practical education which will be an easy guide to her.

You may likewise make excellent use of the historical catechism before-mentioned. Let the person you are forming to educate your children read it over so often, that it may be familiar to herself, and that she may enter into the spirit of this method of teaching. It must be acknowledged, however, that persons of even moderate talents for such services, are rarely to be met with; and yet nothing is to be done in education, without a proper instrument for the business; the commonest things cannot be done of themselves, and they are always ill done by improper people. – Choose therefore either out of your own family, or among your tenants, or friends, or from some well-ordered society, some young woman you think capable of being taught: apply yourself early to the forming of her for this employment: have her near you for some time, to make trial of her before you commit to her so important a trust. Five or six governesses trained in this manner, would soon be able to instruct a great number of others; many of these would probably fail, but out of a great number, we might always repair the loss, and not be so wretchedly compelled, as we continually are, to be seeking for a variety of teachers.

But though the difficulty of finding governesses is great; it must be confessed there is another yet greater, which is the irregularity of parents. All the rest will signify nothing, if they do not co-operate in the business: the foundation of every thing is giving their children right notions and edifying examples: and yet this is only to be found in very few families; in most, one sees nothing but confusion, perpetual changes, a heap of servants, who are not only quarreling with one another, but are the cause of disagreement among their masters and mistresses. What a woeful school is this for young children! The mother who passes her time in gaming, at plays, and in indiscreet conversations, very gravely complains that she cannot find a governess capable of bringing up her children; but what good can the best of educations confer on children, with the example of such a mother before them? One frequently sees parents who themselves carry their children to public diversions, and other amusements,¹⁹ which cannot fail of giving them a disrelish for that serious and orderly course of life, in which these very parents wish to engage them: thus they mix poison with wholesome diet: they talk indeed of nothing but discretion, but at the same time they are agitating the flighty imagination of their children, by the violent impressions of music, and of passionate theatrical representations, which indispose them for application, give them a taste for what is passionate, and thereby make them think innocent pleasure insipid; and after all this still expect that the business of education shall go on well, and consider it as an irksome and austere thing, if it will not admit of this mixture of good or evil. Thus are they fond of the reputation of being anxious for the good education of their children, and yet are unwilling to be at the pains of complying with the most indispensable rules of it.

Let us conclude with the picture which the wise man has drawn of a virtuous woman.

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a proportion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it; with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandize is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry, her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it, and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates."

Though the great difference in manners, and the brevity and boldness of the figures, make this language obscure at first, yet the stile is so rich and animated, that we are soon charmed with it on examination. But what should be further remarked in it, is, that it is the authority of Solomon, the wisest of men; it is the Holy Spirit itself speaking in this lofty manner, to recommend to us, in the character of a woman of rank and fortune, simplicity of manners, domestic economy and industry.