Read the book: «A Forever Family Collection», page 37

Jade monitored the feed as she listened to the young mother talk about the close-knit Greek family.

After the feed was complete, Jade instilled a tiny amount of sterile water to clear the tubing of residual milk before she capped the tube and settled Costa. Suddenly Soula’s voice became unsteady. Jade turned to see the young woman’s eyes welling with tears.

‘If anything happens to Costa I don’t know what I’ll do. I love him so much already.’ Soula broke down and began sobbing. ‘I loved him before he was born.’

Jade closed the incubator door and asked Soula to sit down. It was less than twenty-four hours since she had given birth and she was emotionally and physically drained. Jade gently touched Soula’s arm as she spoke. ‘Since Costa arrived he has had the best medical care. He might be tiny but he’s a strong little boy and putting up a big fight. The injection you were given before delivery has stripped the mucous lining of Costa’s lungs enough to allow a head box and avoid a ventilator. He’s doing very well.’

‘Yes, but Dr Forrester said he’s still critical.’

‘Soula, every baby here in Neonatal ICU is critical, for different medical reasons. Some are tiny, some have complications but we are all doing our very best to ensure they move to the nursery as soon as they are ready. If Dr Forrester gave you a less than rosy picture, it’s because he is being sensibly cautious. It’s important that you understand what challenges Costa is facing now and those he will face in coming weeks, and Dr Forrester is telling you everything. That is far better than not knowing what lies ahead.’ Jade paused. ‘But as he’s only just arrived, and after reading Costa’s notes, it appears that he is doing very well. We will feed him your milk as soon as it comes in and that will help enormously with his immunity.’

‘His father just wants to know that Costa is okay,’ she said, mopping her tears. ‘I promised Yanni that I’d call as soon as I’d visited this morning. He’s up in Roxby in the mines. He works two weeks on and two weeks off and he’d arranged to be here for the birth but Costa arrived eight weeks early. They’re trying to arrange a flight down here today for Yanni and he’s desperate for any news of his son.’ Her words arrived at an increasing speed because of her nerves.

‘I can imagine he would be,’ Jade told her, empathy in her soft voice. ‘It must be such a worry for him, being so far away. As you can probably tell by my accent I’m not from here, so I have no idea where Roxby is located. Is it a big mining town?’

Jade decided to engage Soula in a conversation about the man she clearly adored. It was something tangible and positive and would help the young woman to perhaps focus on something to pull her anxiety down to a manageable level. Jade was fully aware that Soula might within a day or so have to deal with symptoms associated with the postpartum blues, such as mood swings, sleep disturbances and tearfulness, and this would add to her already anxious state. She was glad that Yanni would be arriving soon to support his wife. They would be able to face Costa’s hurdles together.

‘Roxby is a mining town up north. I’ve never been there but …’ Soula began to slow her words and take breaths. ‘When we were trying to get pregnant, Yanni said I should make a trip up there with him because the town has one of the highest birth rates in the whole of Australia.’ Soula was trying to appear a little braver than she really felt but her shaky sigh betrayed the anxiety still very close to the surface.

‘Really,’ Jade replied evenly. ‘They might have to bring more televisions into the town if it becomes a problem.’

Soula smiled, a meek smile but still a smile. Happy that the new mother was comfortable, keeping her baby company, Jade headed over to see how her other little patient was progressing. It was time to check his vital signs.

‘Looks like you’ve settled in very well.’ The voice like molten chocolate came from close behind her and resonated through every part of her body. ‘Even have our new mothers swap tears for smiles. I’m impressed, Nurse Grant.’

Jade tugged at her lower lip with her teeth. She didn’t want or need to hear that voice. It was inevitable, she admitted silently, as he was her boss and she had seen him scrubbing in earlier, but it was not welcome. Mitchell Forrester was causing her body and mind to react in ways she had forgotten she had ever felt. She swallowed before she turned to him but it wasn’t enough to steady her racing heart when she came face to face with him again. It was ridiculous. Only the day before she had been so angry with him, then had agreed to a truce, and now she found it hard to be near him for very different reasons.

She didn’t trust herself.

‘I like to see parents smile,’ she managed as she struggled to level her rapid breathing. ‘But I can’t stop to chat, I’m super-busy, just about to check Jasper’s vitals. I just finished Costa’s feed. His mother is quite anxious but he appears to be doing well. He’s feeding, vitals are stable and her husband is expected to arrive soon, which I hope will alleviate her distress to some degree. She needs his support. Oh, and you forgot to tell me last night that we’d be working together. Any reason for that?’

‘Thought it might be a pleasant surprise,’ he replied with a smile. He wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t told her. Perhaps because he was still trying to figure out in his head how he felt about the working arrangement. And how he felt about her.

Jade couldn’t believe how he looked so good even in his scrubs. And how nervous he made her feel and how the words were spilling from her lips at lightning speed. It was as if she were a first-year nursing student suddenly and not the confident neonatal nurse with years of experience under her belt and on her résumé. How she wished he had retained the unkempt look of old. Resistance would have been so easy if he looked like a castaway but now he was causing an awareness of needs and desires she had pushed from her mind for so long. She was not about to join the bevy of nurses at the Eastern Memorial who found his charm irresistible.

‘So do we operate any differently from over in the US?’ Mitchell asked as he observed her taking baby Johnson’s temperature.

Jade reminded herself that if she wanted to keep him at arm’s length she had to remain aloof and professional at all times. ‘Not that I’ve noticed. Maybe a few different terms like obs when I would say vitals but it’s not going to be a struggle for me to adapt.’

Mitchell smiled. He thought she would fit in very well. Too well, in fact, he thought as he walked away. He didn’t want to become accustomed to having her around.

Jade kept her focus on the baby as she finished recording his vitals and then, satisfied he was progressing well, she closed the incubator door. She was relieved Mitchell was assisting with another small patient that had just arrived in NICU.

The afternoon turned to evening, with Jade liking her temporary new workplace. The other nurses were lovely, a little infatuated with Mitchell but other than that Jade enjoyed working with them. Those who didn’t want to sleep with him couldn’t praise him enough, and Jade had to agree that he was brilliant with the patients and ensured that the parents felt a part of decision-making around their newborn.

She had overheard his conversations with anxious mothers and fathers during her shift and his bedside manner reduced their unfounded fears and allowed them to understand the real hurdles ahead. He answered their questions honestly but with enough compassion not to add to their heightened anxiety. Jade witnessed his skills as a neonatologist and she knew that she would feel safe if she were a parent and he was the attending doctor diagnosing and arranging a treatment plan for a tiny infant.

The shift came to an end at ten in the evening, and Jade knew that Amber would be tucked into bed and sound asleep. She had called during her late lunch break and spoken to her niece and discovered to her delight that she was enjoying her time splashing in a wading pool. Maureen assured Jade that Amber was wearing sunscreen and inflatable arm bands and that she and Arthur wouldn’t take their eyes from her for a second. During the second call, Jade had found out that Amber had dried off from the pool and was busy making cupcakes. It had been a weight off Jade’s mind to hear her so happy. She had been safely inside the house and Jade knew that Maureen was very responsible so she had nothing to worry about. Maureen was nothing like her elder son, not likely to run off with Amber on an adventure of any sort.

It was late and dark so Jade was going to get a cab home from the city. She had caught the tram in but, despite the glorious warm evening air, the walk to the tram stop along the dark city road didn’t hold much appeal.

‘Need a lift?’

Jade knew it was Mitchell without turning her head. Her heart annoyingly skipped a beat and confirmed it. She felt like a teenager the way her body was reacting.

Or overreacting, as she told herself.

‘I’m catching a cab, it’s a bit late for the tram.’

He walked closer and made Jade very aware of his presence. The cologne on his clothes was faint but still enough to stir her senses.

‘I’ll give you a lift. I live in the same road, remember, so it’s not going out of the way.’

Jade drew a deep breath and in silence she turned around to face the most intense blue eyes. She knew it would be rude to decline his offer but the alarm bells in her head were louder than the ambulance siren as it pulled into the nearby A and E bay.

‘You’re sure?’ she asked, hoping against all hope that in the moments since he’d asked he had suddenly remembered somewhere he had to be on the other side of the city. Or that there was a single young nurse in need of his attention. Anything really that would allow her to squirm her way out of sharing the trip home.

‘Very sure,’ he insisted. ‘I’m in the doctors’ car park at the side of the building.’

With reservations and a deep breath, Jade followed her handsome chauffeur into the dimly lit car park. She could see a few cars but had no idea which one belonged to Mitchell. There were a four-wheel-drive, three late-model BMWs, a couple of hatchbacks and a motorbike. She felt pretty sure it was the four-wheel drive as it had roof racks that she assumed would be utilised for his surfboards. The hatchbacks would be a squeeze for his six-foot-two frame, but he might have gone the sophisticated route of the imported sedan.

At this time of the night Jade’s concern about her mode of transport was close to zero. She just wanted to get home and put her feet up. And do it without being too close to Mitchell.

‘Here,’ he said as he held out a motorbike helmet and took her bag from her shoulder. ‘This one’s for you, and I’ll take the bag for safekeeping.’

‘You can’t be serious.’

‘Deadly,’ he said, raising one dark eyebrow over a twinkling eye.

Her rising anxiety levels began pumping adrenalin around her tired body. ‘I’m honestly not comfortable with the whole bike thing. I think I’ll catch a cab.’ She felt a tension headache coming on.

‘And make me ride home alone?’ he asked her with a stare so intense it refused to be ignored. ‘Come on, keep me company. It’s only a twenty-minute trip.’

Jade felt her heart begin to stampede. But this reaction wasn’t purely the fear of the bike. It was the man. If only she hadn’t looked at him when he’d looked at her that way. It was almost impossible to remain distant but she had to. She couldn’t risk getting close to him. She definitely couldn’t let him get under her skin.

‘It’s not a tough decision,’ he said. ‘I can assure you that in all the time I’ve been riding bikes I haven’t killed, maimed or lost a single passenger.’

‘That’s supposed to make me feel better?’ Jade asked tartly, taking a step backwards to reclaim some distance between them.

‘Come on, lassie, take the boy up on his offer and be off with the pair of you,’ said a paediatric consultant Jade recognised from NCIU. Her accent was thick and Jade felt certain it was Irish. She was putting her bag in the back seat of one of the BMW sedans that Jade wished with all of her being was Mitchell’s mode of transport. Not for the prestige attached to the vehicle, it was the doors and roof that she wanted. And the console between them.

‘You’re a wise woman, Maggie O’Donnell, to be sure, to be sure,’ Mitchell, said mimicking her accent.

Maggie sharply turned her attention to Mitchell. ‘Any more from you, Dr Forrester, and I’ll convince the poor girl not to take the ride and I won’t be talking to you again, to be sure, to be sure!’

Mitchell smiled as he watched Maggie shake her head of neat grey curls. ‘It’s been a long day and I’m in need of a cuppa and some kip so you two can do what you please. I’m away.’ With that she reversed from the car park and drove off into the dark, leaving Jade alone with Mitchell again. And a problem.

Why couldn’t he just drive a regular car like all the other doctors?

Dread filled her thoughts. It wasn’t safe.

For two reasons.

It was a motorbike and they could have an accident. They could be sideswiped, hit a pothole or skid in the rain. It wasn’t raining, she admitted to herself, but it still was a bad idea.

And secondly, if she were crazy enough to accept a lift, a bike would force her to wrap her arms around Mitchell just to stop her falling off. There was no way she wanted to be that close to him and feel the warmth of his body close to hers.

‘It’s a straight run down North Terrace then ANZAC Highway to Glenelg,’ he said. As if he read her mind he continued, ‘It’s not raining, the highway’s just been resurfaced so there’s no potholes along the way and not much traffic so there’s negligible risk of being knocked off the bike.’

‘I just don’t feel good about it.’

‘Have you ever been on a motorbike before?’

Jade nodded reluctantly. She had been on so many motorbike rides that she’d lost count. She’d loved to ride around the winding roads to Malibu on the Pacific Coast Highway. Whether she had been the rider or the passenger, she’d loved the feeling when she’d headed out along the beach road, the faster the better as the fresh ocean breeze had hit her face under the helmet.

‘Yes, a few times but—’

‘And you’re here to tell the tale so that makes two of us. So I say let’s get going.’

Jade felt she’d be a hypocrite if she refused and walked back to the cab rank when she knew she had ridden a bike in far more dangerous situations than a quick trip home.

Grudgingly, she accepted the helmet and that simple act elicited a huge smile from Mitchell. He knew that underneath Miss Prim was a woman who wanted to let go and lie naked in the sun. He would just have to take small steps to draw out the real Jade and make her feel comfortable to be herself. He wondered how long she had been hiding beneath the maiden aunt façade. Had it been since Amber was born or something more recent? It would be a challenging few weeks but he would do his best to make Amber’s aunt fun to be around for Amber.

It wasn’t for him, he told himself. He wanted Jade to lighten up and be fun for her niece, that was all.

He slipped on his helmet, put her bag in the storage compartment of the seat and then climbed on the bike and started the engine.

Jade stood frozen to the spot. Her helmet was securely on her head but her mind was fighting her decision.

Mitchell lifted his visor and reached his hand out to her. His eyes told her a story that she didn’t want to hear. He was handsome, intelligent and fun. And she was losing the struggle to refuse his invitation.

She relented and, accepting his hand, climbed on the back of the bike.

His warm scent was all around her, and she prayed that once they hit the road the breeze would make it dissipate, along with the feelings he was stirring in her body. Her hands limply held on to the sides of his body until his strong hands suddenly pulled her hands across his waist in a tighter grip. Her body was pulled against his as they hit the road. Together.

CHAPTER FIVE

‘HOME IN ONE PIECE, as promised,’ Mitchell announced as he stood holding his helmet beside the shiny black motorbike that had been their carriage home.

Jade was already off the bike and in the driveway, putting distance between them quickly. His proximity during the ride home had been unsettling and now his silhouette against the light of the streetlamp was ridiculously appealing. She had to step away and stay away. If things were different she could see this night having a different ending too. Perhaps a kiss and the promise of another bike ride. But it couldn’t end any other way than a polite thank you, she thought as she looked wistfully up at the window where Amber was sleeping.

But she wasn’t angry with Mitchell any more. That had subsided. He had his reasons and he was clearly smitten by Amber now. She hoped that their relationship would build over the years and deepen. His dedication to the babies in his care at the hospital and the empathy he had for their parents was clear, and it did raise her opinion of him. His absolute determination to see the tiny children survive against the odds was an admirable quality.

And his gift to Amber of the locket to carry with her on her adventures all over the world was something that Jade had to admit to herself she would have appreciated a few years ago.

Mitchell was not a bad man but he was still the wrong man for her and she couldn’t allow their truce to grow into something more. He was suddenly ticking every box. And some she hadn’t known had been there to start with.

It was ironic that it scared Jade how safe she’d felt, taking a risk with Mitchell and riding the motorbike. In the past, she would take risks because she wanted to and because she didn’t care about the consequences, but with Mitchell it wasn’t like that. She felt protected by him. But she had to remember what was at stake. She had Amber to consider. And they would only be in Adelaide for a few weeks and Mitchell might not even stay that long.

It would be over before it began.

‘Thank you for the lift.’

‘You’re most welcome, and if you need a lift in tomorrow morning I’m happy to oblige.’

Mitchell could see that beneath Jade’s sensible exterior was a woman who could let her hair down. Tonight had proved it. She knew how to ride a bike. She’d leaned into the turns, she hadn’t been afraid. He hadn’t been teaching her anything that she hadn’t already known and he liked that about her.

She was fun and adventurous but she was playing a safe hand of cards. He liked to shuffle the deck and take his chances and he suspected that once upon a time she had too. He just had to find that woman inside and draw her out so she didn’t raise Amber to be scared of her own shadow.

‘Thanks, but I’ll be fine to tram it in. I’m on an afternoon shift again tomorrow.’

Perhaps she was more like him than she cared to remember. Independent, happy to have a good time and willing to enjoy what the world had to offer. Only time would tell, he thought as he said goodnight and rode off down the street.

Her head felt light as she entered the house. She’d found the ride exhilarating. Mitchell had been in control of the beast of a bike, and she’d loved that. A little too much, she realised when she quietly climbed into her bed next to Amber’s and struggled to fall asleep. The feelings he’d unleashed during the ride had been unexpected. Freedom, fun and … desire. Jade had pushed these feelings to a place from where she’d thought they could never escape. And they hadn’t, until now. Until Mitchell had threatened to release all of them at once.

Jade heard Mitchell’s motorbike roar past her window next morning and felt her stomach churn and chills run down her spine with the sound. Not ominous chills. Just the opposite. She had been so close to the sound only a few hours before and it had made her feel alive. Now she worried that she could grow to like the feelings he was stirring.

She spent the morning with Amber, playing on the beach, trying desperately to push Mitchell from her mind. He was just a man and she had dated her fair share and ignored even more over the years. Yet the scent of his cologne so close to her and the feeling of her arms around his hard body as they’d ridden together were haunting her waking thoughts. He was making her question her safe life choices.

Maureen decided she would take her granddaughter to the shops on Jetty Road to find a few ‘sparkly things’ when Jade left for work. Jade wasn’t entirely sure what ‘sparkly things’ meant but Amber was excited by the prospect so Jade was happy as she headed off for her second shift at the hospital.

Her shift began at two. There was handover and she was informed of a new airlifted baby from Melbourne who would be in her care. She hadn’t been named yet so they referred to her as Baby Morey.

‘There was no alternative, considering they were short of incubators in Melbourne. The hospitals over there had a whole run of prem deliveries within a few days. They’re grateful the Eastern Memorial could accept her,’ Mandy told Jade as they neared the incubator. ‘She’s tiny but a fighter.’

‘Why didn’t the parents travel with the infant?’

‘The mother delivered her via Caesarean after a car accident,’ Mandy told Jade as they neared the incubator. ‘I saw the report that arrived. Four-car pile-up on the Tullamarine Freeway near the airport.’

‘Are the parents all right? Did they survive?’ Jade’s voice suddenly became shaky as her hands hovered nervously. She prayed they were both alive, she didn’t want to hear anything else. Déjà vu instantly made her skin crawl and her stomach knot.

‘They’re both stable and off the critical list. Her mother has a hairline fracture of her collarbone, a punctured lung and, of course, the postnatal effects of the Caesarean birth, and Cara’s father has damage to his vertebrae and a fractured hip. He’s in Spinal Injuries.’

Jade swallowed hard. The infant they were attending had entered the world the same way Amber had three years previously. The time peeled away in an instant as she looked at the baby lying innocently in the incubator, completely unaware of what had happened, all the while holding tenuously to her own life. But she did still have her parents. However injured they were, they would pull through and be a part of her life. Jade was happy for the little girl.

Mandy left Jade as she needed to tend to another tiny patient. NICU was at capacity, with all of the nursing staff, including Mandy, rushed off their feet. Jade was grateful the other nurse hadn’t had time to notice the tears welling in her eyes. Amber’s fight to stay alive and the battle her parents had lost hit home at lightning speed and brought emotions rushing to the surface.

‘The paediatrician had noted suspected respiratory distress, causing cyanosis, but I wasn’t convinced and I ran some additional tests,’ Mitchell told a small group of medical students as he approached the new arrival and Jade. ‘The bluish discoloration of the skin and nail beds would indicate respiratory distress but the degree of cyanosis was not proportional to what was shown in the X-rays that accompanied the baby from Melbourne. And it has not been decreasing with increased inspired oxygen and the tests quickly confirmed congestive heart failure.’

He then turned his attention to Jade. ‘Nurse Grant, can you move Baby Morey to a radiant heat warmer within the next fifteen minutes so we can maintain her body temperature?’

‘Certainly,’ Jade replied, trying to blink away the tears before they ran down her cheeks and anyone noticed them.

But Mitchell did. He noticed everything about Jade, even though he didn’t want to. He decided to release the students, who had been with him for most of the morning and were due to end their time in NICU. They looked exhausted and no doubt had information overload, which he suggested might be abated by a coffee in the cafeteria.

As the students left, he called another nurse to take over. ‘I need to speak with Nurse Grant for a moment but in her absence I want both cardiorespiratory and oxygen saturation monitoring and I’m prescribing digoxin. Dosages are in the notes and I want close observation until Nurse Grant returns.’

Jade had turned to walk away. She didn’t want to be confronted about her reaction. She didn’t want or need his concern.

‘Nurse Grant, please come with me for a moment.’ He kept his professional tone in front of the others then gently took her arm and directed her to a small office nearby used by consultants and residents when they needed to speak with parents in private. He closed the door and turned to her.

‘Jade, what’s wrong?’ he asked, releasing her from his firm hold but not the intensity of his gaze.

‘Nothing,’ she lied, and blinked even harder as she tried to look anywhere but at Mitchell. ‘I’m fine.’

‘You’re anything but fine.’

‘I’ll be okay. I don’t want special treatment.’ She looked up, and his expression wasn’t what she had been expecting. It wasn’t judgmental. It was empathetic and real and etched into every part of his face. And it suddenly and unexpectedly allowed her to give in to her feelings. Tears that had built up for so long began streaming down her face.

She hadn’t cried since the funeral. Her feelings had been bottled up inside. She had been strong because she’d felt she’d had no other choice. There was no one for her to lean on while she was Amber’s only support.

‘You’re so far from okay.’ Without hesitation, he reached out, put his arm around her and pulled her into his arms, and she didn’t pull away.

‘Is it Amber?’ He murmured the question as he gently stroked her hair. ‘Are you worried about her?’

Jade knew as the moments passed that, as much as it felt good to have a man’s arms around her, she couldn’t stay there for ever. And particularly not in Mitchell’s arms. He wouldn’t be there for ever; neither would she. It was crazy to let him into her heart. She slowly moved from his embrace and a place that had made her feel safe, if only for a moment.

‘Amber’s fine, honestly, Mitchell …’ She hesitated for a minute to gather her thoughts and put any growing feelings for him away. ‘It was the new arrival in NICU. The baby was delivered by C-section after a motor vehicle accident … and it just brought everything back. I have to toughen up. I’m working on it.’

Mitchell didn’t want Jade to toughen up at all. She didn’t need additional walls. He wanted more than anything to break down the ones she had. She might not be his usual fun-loving, easygoing type but suddenly he wondered if just a casual good time was enough any more. Being around Jade for the past few days, even putting Amber to bed and all it entailed, had not been the chore he had imagined. He had enjoyed every minute of that special time with his niece and with Jade.

His type was fast becoming a cute Californian girl with a pixie cut and the dress sense of someone’s maiden aunt but the soul and depth of no one he had ever met before.

‘The best nurses are those with empathy and compassion,’ he told her as she turned to face him. ‘You have both. Don’t hide what is inside you.’

Jade didn’t want to meet his gaze. She wanted to pull herself together and face the job outside. ‘I need to get back to work. We’re short enough on staff, let alone with me sitting in here, snivelling. I’m being self-indulgent and silly.’

‘You’re not being either, so take a minute,’ he continued. ‘And when you’re ready, head back out. If you prefer, I will switch your patient roster.’

Jade took a deep breath and gently shook her head. ‘I want to stay with my patient. I really do.’

‘It’s your call, if you’re up to it.’

‘I am,’ she said, crossing to the door, feeling the need to put space between them. He was much too appealing on a whole other level now. It wouldn’t just be his smouldering looks that would make it difficult. Now that Jade knew he had a heart, and a level of compassion and empathy she hadn’t thought he possessed, it would make it that much more difficult to be around him. But that wasn’t his problem. It was hers.

Jade walked back into NCIU and straight to her patient. Mitchell followed behind her. He admired her dedication and compassion, and although he wished she had taken some time out, he respected her wishes and acted accordingly.

‘I noticed her slow feeding time so I want you to switch to gavage feeding so she’s not working hard for the food and can conserve energy. Later we’ll try her sucking again but provide higher caloric formula. And I’ll see if they’ve decided on a name yet. I don’t want to refer to her by her surname. She needs her own name.’

Mitchell’s last few words made her smile. He genuinely cared so much for these babies and it wasn’t just his clinical abilities that impressed Jade. He treated the babies as little people with feelings, extending even to having a proper name. She was falling for the man, and there was no way to stop her tumble.

Jade followed Mitchell’s instructions, inserted a gavage tube into the tiny stomach and began the slow feed. Aware of the management of babies with congestive heart failure, Jade placed her in a semi-erect position for feeding and burped her every half an ounce to minimise the chance of vomiting after the feed. Jade felt an extra-special bond with this baby, who had a small tuft of blonde hair on her crown. Jade planned on spending additional time with Baby Morey as she didn’t have a mother who could visit and she wanted to provide that additional care.