Under Pressure

Mandy took the bullet journal from the backpack and searched the class grid that was printed and pasted on one of the pages of the hardcover notebook for the number of the literature room. Disconnected from what was happening around her, she walked towards the room, her attention focused on her backpack while she kept the bullet journal. Before she had a chance to look up, the girl went against a wall and almost fell sitting, being prevented by two warm, firm hands that held her, but her backpack was not so lucky and fell to the floor. Looking up, Mandy felt her face heat up and turn red.

Oh, dammit. With the number of students at Brown, did I have to trip over Ryan McKenna right away?

"Ehr ... um ... So-Sorry” - she said, realizing she was stuttering like a fool. She was embarrassed. In addition to being completely clumsy, she was even stuttering as if she had no ability to articulate words.

"Are you alright? Forgive me, I was distracted" - Ryan spoke in a soft voice, looking into her eyes. Mandy had never been so close to him as in that moment - in fact, she had never been so close to any boy - and she could see every detail of his lovely blue eyes. His face was clean-shaven, making her feel a strange desire to raise her hand and feel if the skin of his face was as smooth as it looked. She stared at him for a few seconds, almost mesmerized. He was even more beautiful than she remembered.

Stop it, you silly! Where in the world one would behave like you, standing in the middle of the corridor, drooling over the hottest guy in college? She scolded herself in thoughts.

“Mm…” Ehr ... Yes, I am. Thank you and I'm sorry again.

Mandy managed to free herself from his arms, which still held her. The girl bent down quickly to pick up the backpack that was on the floor and, of course, was open, having spread her stuff down the hall. Annoyed by her clumsiness, she tried to put everything back in place as quickly as possible, including the bullet journal, which had fallen a little further, before he had a chance to bend down too. She closed the backpack and threw it over her shoulder, smiled awkwardly and moved on quickly, looking for her classroom.

As she walked quickly, she noticed that some people were looking at her and laughing at her accident. She felt her face heat up even more and scolded herself again for being so clumsy. It would be terrible to be remembered as the girl who fell in front of everyone.

When she finally found the classroom, Mandy went in and looked for a place in the back, so as not to risk being in evidence again. That was the kind of thing she tried to avoid as much as possible. The only moment when she was not allowed to feel shame or embarrassment for being highlighted, was when she was dancing. On stage, it was like it wasn't Mandy, the shy girl, but the character that she was giving life.

Panting, the girl sat in a strategic place: beside her, the chairs were empty, which was great because it would avoid that kind of embarrassment of having to discuss things with the closest colleague, when she had no idea what to say.

With a long sigh, she opened her backpack and took out a notebook when she noticed a shadow growing over it. Raising her eyes, once again, she came across Ryan McKenna.

"Hi, Cinderella. You forgot your satin shoe in the hall" - he said smiling, holding one foot of her ballet shoes in his hands.

Dammit.

Chapter Three

From the moment Ryan held Mandy in his arms as he bumped her in the hallway, so she wouldn't fall to the floor, he felt stunned. He had already noticed that beautiful girl in the halls of Gloucester High School when he was still in high school. He found the girl delicate, who wore her long dark hair always tied, very interesting to watch. Her beauty was exotic, with beautiful features and very green eyes. And the delicacy and softness of her features contrasted with the sporty style of the dark jeans, T-shirt and sneakers he wore.

In his opinion, she was a fox. He had always felt attracted to her, but have never tried anything. They were not part of the same group of friends and she never gave him a second look. Although they studied at the same school, Ryan was a year older and they always studied in different classes. Besides, she was very serious and he didn't think she was the type of girl who would accept going out with him. They had never spoken and only exchanged polite smiles occasionally. Seeing her at Brown, a year after he last saw her, was undoubtedly a great surprise.

The bump in the hall left him swaying. Maybe it was the fact that she fit perfectly in his arms or maybe it was because of the sweet, soft and floral scent of her perfume, which made him want to lean in a little closer, to better smell her. Or, who knows, maybe it was because of her intriguing and sensual appearance, very different from the shy girl who hid her attributes in high school. Amanda looked more grown up now. She was wearing her hair down - something he had never seen before - which framed her green eyes and made him want to touch the dark strands to find out if they were as soft as they looked.

But as fast as she fell against his body, she left, leaving him with the feeling of having been run over by the entire opposing team from the last game, such was the intensity of the feelings that aroused him.

He ran his hands through his hair, still feeling a little lost, until something red on the floor captured his attention: a ballet shoe. It should have fallen out of her backpack when he dropped her.

Determined, Ryan went down the hall, looking into the nearest rooms, trying to find her, but he was out of luck. It was as if the girl had evaporated. Frustrated, he was feeling the Prince Charming himself, left at the ball (in his case, in the college hallways), with the sneaker in hand and her owner having disappeared.

Unsuccessful with the search, he decided to go to literature class, before Miss. Leslie, the class teacher, went outside to get him. When she passed him at the entrance to the building, the teacher had wagged her finger and spoke in a loud and clear tone that she would wait for him in her class without delay. You can't stop yourself from making an awkward face when you remember the teacher's words. He hated it when they drew conclusions from his actions without really knowing him. That was the downside of being a popular guy. People generally judged his attitudes, without really knowing him. He knew that he fit the stereotype of the athlete, captain of the basketball team and relatively popular, but he was not a fool. He was a good student, who struggled in his studies to get good grades and was worried about the future.

Still thinking about the girl, Ryan came into the room and looked around assessing where he was going to sit. His eyes went to the back of the class and he smiled widely, hardly believing his luck. There she was: sitting on one of the chairs, looking for something in the backpack. Her dark hair fallen over her shoulders and, once again, he wanted to touch it and feel its thickness.

Stop it, he scolded himself.

Yes. She was beautiful. Yes. He was very attracted. But he could very well control his impulses and not act like an idiot.

Without looking away, Ryan followed her to return the ballerina flat - which was still in his hand - and, who knows, to know a little more about this girl who intrigued him so much. As he passed between the tables, he greeted one and another classmate. Until he approached and smelled the sweet, soft scent of her perfume enveloping him again. Looking surprised, she looked up at him and parted her lips.

"Hi, Cinderella. You forgot your satin shoe in the hall." - Ryan held out the hand that held the shoe with a flourish in her direction and smiled playfully. He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, watching the girl's reaction closely.

Feeling her face burning, Mandy murmured:

"Um ..." - She cleared her throat. - "Thanks. I didn't realize I had dropped it." - If the blush on her cheeks were not a hint of her shyness, her low voice and the fact that she was barely able to look at him would clearly say how embarrassed she looked.

Willing to break the ice, Ryan opened his winning smile - that one girls usually couldn't resist, and sat down in the chair next to her.

"Do you remember me?" - He asked. - "I'm Ryan McKenna from Gloucester. We studied at the same school" - he added, striking up a conversation.

She let out a hum-hum, without paying much attention to him.

"I didn't know you danced ballet," he continued.

“Kinda.”

Her answer - or the lack of it - puzzled him. He was not used to being ignored. Usually, people paid all attention to a popular guy like him.

He parted his lips to say something when Miss. Leslie came into the room and looked around. When she saw him sat, she gave him a satisfied smile and nodded. Ryan smiled back and waved softly in silent greeting. The teacher have barely put the material on the table and was already talking excitedly about the lesson plan for the semester. Looking away from the front of the room, he looked to the side and saw Mandy ignoring him and writing down everything the teacher was saying. Still, he didn't give up on striking up a conversation with her.

"Have you been dancing for a long time?"

"Yup." - Damn, she's still monosyllabic. That’s no good.

"For how long?"

"Since the age of 5." - She turned to him, who saw a different sparkle in her eyes, quickly covered by a cloak of indifference. - "I'm sorry, but I'm trying to follow the class." - Her tone sounded annoyed.

Ryan looked away and took a notebook from his backpack.

"Sorry, Cinderella. I just wanted to get to know you better." His voice was low and a little harder than he expected, but he couldn't help feeling frustrated. What was wrong with her? Or worse, with him?

With big green eyes wide, Mandy opened her mouth to answer, but the teacher, who was talking about the semester's project, turned to them and said:

"Ryan, Amanda can be your partner on the project."

The teacher looked away from the two, continuing to randomly split the class into pairs and Ryan looked back at Mandy, who looked dissatisfied.

"What is it, Cindy? Didn't you like having to do the job with me?"

Her tone was scathing.

“No. I wanted to do it with someone who liked to study, not one who would leave the job behind me. And my name is Amanda, not Cindy."

Whoo! The fox has claws! And sharp ones, he thought to himself.

Unable to hide his smile, he leaned in and whispered very close to her ear. Adrenaline shot through his body and he felt challenged to prove to that girl that he was a hard worker.

"But who said I don't like to study?" - From where Ryan was, he could see the light hairs on her arm, which was resting on the table, stand up. - "You can be sure that this will be the best work of the class on ..." - Ryan looked quickly at the whiteboard to read the project theme. Jane Austen? Ah, damn it! - "Hmm... Jane Austen" - completed, feeling a little less secure. - "And I know your name, Amanda Summers. The girl's eyes widened slightly when she heard her last name. - "Cindy is my nickname for Cinderella, since I think you won't be happy if someone hears me call you that."

"I don't like silly nicknames," she replied so quietly, that if he hadn't been so close, he wouldn't have heard. Then she lowered her head again, concentrating on the notebook in front of her. - "All I want is to get a good grade, without having to kill myself to do the project alone."

"Be cool. I will not let you do anything alone. We will do it together, like two good partners." - He smiled. - "And the nickname is not silly. I am not to blame if you are my Cinderella."

"And what are you? Prince Charming?" - Mandy couldn't keep the ironic tone. "You think you are, don't you, Ryan McKenna?" - she couldn't stop her voice from being full of poison.

He looked at her, surprised by the hostility.

"What do you mean by that?"

"That you must be full of yourself just because you are the captain of the basketball team and the girls fly around you like bakery flies. But you don't have to pretend to be interested in me, as I don't fall for your conquering heartthrob chat."

Ryan raised his eyebrow and opened and closed his mouth a few times. She managed to leave him speechless. He knew that most people treated him with privileges because he was the playmaker and captain of the team, and the girls really flirted with him, but he had never seen himself in such a distorted perspective. As if he was a bad guy for being popular.

He was about to reply that she was wrong when Miss. Leslie called out their names again.

"Ryan? Amanda? Your book is Pride and Prejudice " - the teacher spoke and continued to indicate the book for each pair. - "You should make a project, showing the cultural differences of the time when the book takes place in comparison with the present, the difference in love relationships, always comparing past and present, without forgetting the theoretical basis through the authors who are part of the readings referenced for our discipline. I will make the prerogatives of work available on our class forum on the internet."

Pride and Prejudice It couldn't be a better book. Ryan would make the Cinderella pleaded swallow the prejudice against him by the end of the semester. Now, taming that aloof girl was a matter of honor.

At the end of class, Ryan stood up and rested his backpack on his shoulder, smiling at Miss. Grumpy.

"Bye, Cindy. See you. But, I already want to set up our meeting at the campus library, to start our work. I'll see you on Saturday at nine in the morning."

He bowed to her as a period nobleman would have done to a lady - perhaps even Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth - blinked and headed for the exit. I was sure that if I looked back, she would be open-mouthed, surprised.

Chapter Four

Upon seeing Ryan leave the room, Amanda exhaled audibly. The impact of the strange conversation hit her and she felt her body shudder. The memory of her rude words made her face flush and warm. Oh, my God. How could I be so impolite?, she scolded herself. She leaned forward, running her hands over her face. If she were sincere, she would admit what had happened. The shitty insecurity, associated with shyness, spoke louder and she reacted in the worst way possible.

Dammit.

The girl sighed and started to put the material in her backpack. The room was starting to fill up for the next class. As she finished packing her things, Mandy thought about how much he surprised her by appearing beside her and striking up a conversation.

She closed the backpack carefully so as not to be embarrassed again. She rested the strap on her shoulder and headed for the exit. In a few seconds, she quickly crossed the hall to chemistry class. She barely crossed the living room door when she saw May waving at her.

"Mandy! Here! I saved your place!"

She went to her friend, still shaken. She couldn't stop thinking about the strange morning. Had Ryan McKenna really stroke up a conversation or was she dreaming? And had she really reacted so badly to his presence?

"Mandy? Friend?" May shook her shoulder and Mandy looked at her with a start. - ""Honey, what happened?

“Huh. Nothing” - she replied quickly, looking away.

She couldn't tell anyone that, not even May. She felt embarrassed by her behavior and, at the same time, a little ridiculed by Ryan's joke, when he called her Cinderella. Because that could only be a joke. A guy like him would never look at her any other way. But, in a sneaky way, the other side of her, that romantic and dreamer murmured: “What if he really liked you? What if he's interested in something else? She took a deep breath, not knowing what to think, as her pessimistic side protested vehemently: "How bold of you to think that Ryan McKenna, the basketball star, the Brown's most handsome guy, the one who could have any girl he wanted to, would be intrested in something else. No, no, and no! He's on Mandy Summers' list of Unattainable Things and that's where he should stay. ”

"Mandy, what happened? Are you upset with someone? Are you sick? Talk to me, friend!" - May's expression was concerned. Mandy tried to open a smile to reassure her, determined not to comment anything. She was a very closed girl with her own feelings and hated to worry about others.

"No, May. I'm fine. I just have a little headache."

"Oh, damm it! I hate it when that happens. I'll leave you alone to see if it gets better. Do you want a painkiller?"

"No, thanks. Soon I will feel better" - she replied, feeling even worse for lying to her best friend.

The teacher came into the room and started the lesson, but Mandy was completely unaware of what was happening, going over the morning's events, as if it were a movie in which Ryan and she were the main characters. She recalled the moment when he held her so she wouldn't fall. His arms wrapped around her so tightly that she didn't want to get out of his heat. Closing her eyes, she remembered his smile and his bright eyes when he stroke up a conversation during class, seeming interested in knowing more about her. Guilt hit her at the thought of her rudeness when he was just nice.

Sympathetic and seductive, that romantic voice murmured and Mandy remembered the moment when he leaned against her, bringing his lips close to her ear, raising the hairs on her body while whispering in her ear. It would be enough to turn her head a little and their lips would meet and she could taste his taste.

Where’d that come from? Gosh! I haven't even kissed anyone, how can I be thinking that kind of thing?

A shake on her shoulder drove her out of her thoughts.

"Mandy, come on. The class is over, let's have lunch."

She looked at May, confused, wondering how an hour of class could have gone by without her noticing. If someone asked her anything the teacher had said during the class, she wouldn't know how to answer it, because she spent the whole time thinking about Ryan, his easy talk and his beautiful blue eyes.

Shaking her head, she tried to shake the memory of the boy, put her backpack on her shoulder and followed May out of the classroom towards the university cafeteria.

She walked beside her friend, who kept talking about the torture that had been her history class. As she turned in the corridor, a strange sensation enveloped her, as if she were being watched. She lifted her head, looked around and found the same pair of blue eyes that had destabilized her all morning. Their eyes met, he blinked and she felt her face heat up.

"Mandy? Earth calling!"

The young woman broke eye contact with Ryan and looked back at May, who was watching her curiously.

"Are you alright? You look a little flushed" - the friend said and Mandy looked away to the floor.

"Um ... I am," he replied under May's scrutiny. But she gave up on lunch. It was better to go to her safe place to put her head in place. - "Friend, have lunch with the boys." "I'm going to the library. I'm not hungry and my head is hurting a lot."

"Do you want me to go with you?" - May asked, stopping in the middle of the hall. She felt guilty again for lying again, but she needed to be alone and try to understand what was going on.

"No, no need. It's quiet there and that's exactly what I need now."

May seemed a little reticent about allowing her to go there alone.

"Are you sure?"

The young woman shook her head, trying to smile slightly.

"Okay, see you later, then."

Mandy quickly moved away from May and went to the opposite side of the building, where the large library was located. She entered the old hall and waved to Polly, the librarian she had met on the first day she went there. The woman smiled back, put Mandy's things in a small reception cupboard and went to the back, where the classics were. Polly had told her that hardly anyone showed up in that section of the library during the break. Actually, rarely did anyone go there. Maybe that's why it has become her favorite place.

She walked slowly down the hall as she passed the shelves full of books. She went to the bottom, sliding her fingertips over the thick, old spines of the books she loved so much. Halfway there, she stopped in front of Jane Austen's books and took Pride and Prejudice off the shelf, hugging the old, hardcover copy to her chest.

She sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, with the book in her hand. Her fingers felt around the cover, outlining the gold letters. She opened the book on some page and brought it close to her face, smelling the words printed on the yellowed paper.

"I thought that poetry was the food of love"

She read the sentence spoken by Mr. Darcy and closed the book, resting her head on her knees, which were bent close to her body. With her eyes closed, her thoughts returned to the exact moment of the bump. It had never happened to her. Never, never really, she has been so rocked by anyone, so unstructured as she was. She needed to get him out of her head.

She was silent, with her eyes closed for a while. Then, a light touch of her hair made it fall over her shoulders. Lifting her head quickly, surprised, she found Ryan himself kneeling right in front of her. He looked at her intently, his blue eyes looking darker, almost the color of night.

"Are you OK?" - He asked as he put a lock of hair behind her ear.

Mandy was unable to speak. The words failed her and she just nodded, despite not being well. The tension in the air was almost tactile and she couldn't understand why he was so close to her, almost invading her personal space.

"Ah, Cinderella," he murmured, without taking his eyes off hers, moving closer. - "I can't get you out of my head."

Ryan leaned in. His eyes strayed from hers and wandered toward her mouth. Mandy's lips parted and she ran the tip of her tongue over them, trying to moisten them. He smiled slightly, getting closer and closer. They were millimeters apart. She could almost feel the brush of his lips against hers.

Tired of resisting and trying to rationalize what she was feeling, she closed her eyes and lifted her lips instinctively. She felt the hot breath very close to her face and when Ryan's mouth finally touched hers, she was startled: several books fell from the top of the bookcase over her head.

Mandy opened her eyes in alarm and realized that there was no one in that hidden corridor. She should have dozed off and dreamed of him and, somehow, pushed the bookcase causing all those books to fall.

I shouldn't have lied to May, she thought, rubbing the top of her head. That was her punishment for lying and wanting something she knew she could never have.

Well done, Amanda Summers. Now, her headache was real and she still had an extra job, which was putting everything back in place.

***

As Mandy headed for the library, May stood in the cafeteria, watching her friend walk away and feeling her chest tight with worry. They were like sisters and, despite the difference in age between the two being a few months old, the friend always awakened May's protective instinct, who knew she was a melancholy girl and that she had a great sadness inside her. As much as she said she didn't care about her father's departure, she knew that it contributed a lot to her insecurity. She was a beautiful, sweet and very intelligent girl. She was talented, her dedication and performance in ballet was admirable, but Mandy couldn't see herself that way. And that was why May did her best to get her up and worried when she looked like this: strange and more introspective than usual.

When Mandy disappeared from view, May turned and headed for the cafeteria. As she passed through the double doors, she saw a huge hall. She had not yet entered there. On the right side, the dishes were arranged in stacks, right next to the counter where a lady was replacing the food. Ahead, a large refrigerator with a glass door held soda, juice and water.

She went there and started to put food on her plate. When she reached the end of the counter, she grabbed a Coca-Cola, passed the cashier and paid for lunch. Then she turned and looked around. The room full of tables was packed. Deep in the back of the room, she saw Yoshi swing his arm to get her attention. She smiled to let him know she had seen him and started walking with the tray in her hands. She passed between the tables and noticed that, as in high school, the places were separated by groups. There was the table of the nerds, the rockers, the athletes and the table of the ordinary people - like her. Finally, she reached the table and smiled at her friends, who were in a lively conversation about cars. Sean reached out, took the tray from her hand and placed it on the table, while Yoshi pulled the chair beside her so that May could sit. She thought their care for her was cute.

The girl barely greeted them and thanked them for their kindness when Sean interrupted her.

"Where's Mandy? Didn't she come with you?"

"She went to the library," she replied. - "She has a headache."

He made an expression of displeasure, but she ignored it. She liked him, they had been part of the same group of friends since they were kids, but Sean had a fixation on Mandy that went over a little of what she considered reasonable. She knew that her friend had no romantic interest in him and that the two had already talked about it. But although he said that he understood and that he would like them to remain friends, May found the feeling of possession he displayed to be quite strange.

"So, May, how was the history class?" - Yoshi asked and the conversation about the terrible class distracted her.

A few moments later, a buzz began to form at the table to her left, where the basketball team and the cheerleaders stood, in their short white and blue uniforms. Although they were not part of that group, they were sitting very close to them.

"Ryyyyy-aaannnn!" - Ashley Walters's thin voice rang in her ears.

Ashley was the captain of the basketball team's cheerleaders. She was beautiful, had a perfect body, shiny blond hair and incredibly blue eyes. She was the perfect stereotype of the college cheerleader. But, as sick as her voice, Ashley was not what could be considered good company. May had had the displeasure of attending the first class of the day with her - which had been terrible - but largely because of the girl. Boring, rude and prejudiced, Ashley only treated well who was part of her group and the strangest thing is that most of the people she got along with, did not see it. She was very popular and admired by most of the students: the boys were crazy to go out with her and the girls wanted to be like her.

" Ryann-annn ," - she called again, as if she were singing his name. May didn't know how anyone there at that table could tolerate Ashley. May had only known her for five minutes and already hated her.

"What is it, Ash?" - Ryan asked, looking impatient.

"Are you doing charity now, giving attention to the needy?"

He raised his eyebrow, looking quite surprised by the question.

"What are you talking about?" - He asked, his blue eyes showing confusion.

Her face showed a smug expression. She raised an eyebrow and said:

"I saw you in the hall, making out with a little chick, earlier."

He frowned, while the other girls who were next to her smiled mischievously when they heard the mean nickname.

May looked at Sean and Yoshi, who looked as surprised as she did. The girl looked back at the table and her eyes strayed from Ryan to Ashley, as if she were watching an exciting tennis match. She looked back at Ryan, who looked a little uncomfortable. Who was he clinging to? He was always harassed at school, so May had no doubt that at university he should be much more.

"What is it, Ashley?" - The expression on Ryan's face was quite boring. - "I don't give you the freedom to talk to me like that!"

"I'm not saying anything too much, Ry. Everyone saw that you went after that skinny girl in literature class after the meeting in the hall." - Ash made an innocent expression and continued. - "You used to have a better taste for girls, dear."

She pouted and laughed, accompanied by friends who looked more like imitation monkeys.

"I don't understand your comment, Ashley. You have no right to talk to me like that,” - he replied. - "In addition, you need to learn to respect people in order to be respected. Mandy has a name, she's an amazing girl and doesn't deserve to be treated that way by anyone. And nothing much happened. I bumped into her in the hall and went to apologize in class. That’s it."

Mandy? Did he say Mandy? Was Ryan referring to my Mandy ?, May wondered and looked at Sean and Yoshi, who were staring at each other with their mouths open, just like her.

"May, is he talking about Mandy?" - Yoshi asked quietly.

"I think so," - she replied. Something happened and Mandy didn't tell me!, May thought to herself, but was awakened from her rambling by Ashley's irritating voice.

" I have every right to say what I want, Ryan! Besides, you know you should be with me, don't you? I am the cheerleader of the basketball team!" - She leaned against him, running a hand on his arm. Ryan took her hand and pushed it away. He laughed, but it didn't look like fun.

"Ash, don't make me laugh. I. Have. Already. Said. I. Don't. Want. Anything. With. You - he punctuated each word, pointing a finger at her. - "Don't be ridiculous. Your insistence on these ridiculous clichés is pathetic."