Read the book: «The Caged Lion», page 14

CHAPTER XIII: THE RING AND THE EMPTY THRONE

No one knows how great a tree has been till it has fallen; nor how large a space a mighty man has occupied till he is removed.

King Henry V. left his friends and foes alike almost dizzy, as in place of his grand figure they found a blank; instead of the hand whose force they had constantly felt, mere emptiness.

Malcolm of Glenuskie, who had been asserting constantly that King Henry was no master of his, and had no rights over him, had nevertheless, for the last year or more, been among those to whom the King’s will was the moving spring, fixing the disposal of almost every hour, and making everything dependent thereon.

When the death-hush was broken by the ‘Depart, O Christian soul,’ and Bedford, with a face white and set like a statue, stood up from his knees, and crossed and kissed the still white brow, it was to Malcolm as if the whole universe had become as nothing.  To him there remained only the great God, the heavenly Jerusalem into which the King had entered, and himself far off from the straight way, wandering from his promise and his purpose into what seemed to him a mere hollow painted scene, such as came and went in the midst of a banquet.  Or, again, it was the grisly Dance of Death that was the only reality; Death had clutched the mightiest in the ring.  Whom would he clutch next?

He stood motionless, as one in a dream, or rather as if not knowing which was reality, and which phantom; gazing, gazing on at the bed where the King lay, round which the ecclesiastics were busying themselves, unperceiving that James, Bedford, and the nobles had quitted the apartment, till Percy first spoke to him in a whisper, then almost shook him, and led him out of the room.  ‘I am sent for you,’ he said, in a much shaken voice; ‘your king says you can be of use.’  Then tightening his grasp with the force of intense grief, ‘Oh, what a day! what a day!  My father! my father!  I never knew mine own father!  But he has been all to Harry and to me!  Oh, woe worth the day!’  And dropping into a window-seat, he covered his face with his hands, and gave way to his grief: pointing, however, to the council-room, where Malcolm found Bedford writing at the table, King James, and a few others, engaged in the same manner.

A few words from James informed him (or would have done so if he could have understood) that the Duke of Bedford, on whom at that terrible moment the weight of two kingdoms and of the war had descended, could not pause to rest, or to grieve, till letters and orders had been sent to the council in England, and to every garrison, every ally in France, to guard against any sudden panic, or faltering in friendship to England and her infant heir.  Warwick and Salisbury were already riding post haste to take charge of the army; Robsart was gone to the Queen, Exeter to the Duke of Burgundy; and as the clergy were all engaged with the tendance of the royal corpse, there was scarcely any one to lessen the Duke’s toil.  James, knowing Malcolm’s pen to be ready, had sent for him to assist in copying the brief scrolls, addressed to each captain of a fortress or town, announcing the father’s death, and commanding him to do his duty to the son—King Harry VI.  Each was then to be signed by the Duke, and despatched by men-at-arms, who waited for the purpose.

Like men stunned, the half-dozen who sat at the council-table worked on, never daring to glance at the empty chair at the upper end.  The only words that passed were occasional inquiries of, and orders from, Bedford; and these he spoke with a strange alertness and metallic ring in his voice, as though the words were uttered by mechanism; yet in themselves they were as clear and judicious as possible, as if coming from a mind wound up exclusively to the one necessary object; and the face—though flushed at first, and gradually growing paler, with knitted brows and compressed lips—betrayed no sign of emotion.

Hours passed: he wrote, he ordered, he signed, he sealed; he mentioned name after name, of place and officer, never moving or looking up.  And James, who knew from Salisbury that he had neither slept nor eaten since sixty miles off he had met a worse report of his brother, watched him anxiously till, when evening began to fall, he murmured, ‘There is the captain of—of—at—but—’—the pen slipped from his fingers, and he said, ‘I can no more!’

The overtaxed powers, strained so long—mind, memory, and all—were giving way under the mere force of excessive fatigue.  He rose from his seat, but stumbled, like one blind, as James upheld him, and led him away to the nearest bed-chamber, where, almost while the attendants divested him of the heavy boots and cuirass he had never paused all these hours to remove, he dropped into a sleep of sheer exhaustion.

James, who was likewise wearied out with watching, turned towards his own quarters; but, in so doing, he could not but turn aside to the chapel, where before the altar had been laid all that was left of King Henry.  There he lay, his hands clasped over a crucifix, clad in the same rich green and crimson robes in which he had ridden to meet his Queen at Vincennes but three short months before; the golden circlet from his helmet was on his head, but it could not give additional majesty to the still and severe sweetness of his grand and pure countenance, so youthful in the lofty power that high aspirations had imprinted on it, yet so intensely calm in its marble rest, more than ever with the look of the avenging unpitying angel.  To James, it was chiefly the face of the man whom he had best loved and admired, in spite of their strange connection; but to Malcolm, who had as usual followed him closely, it was verily a look from the invisible world—a look of awful warning and reproof, almost as if the pale set lips were unclosing to demand of him where he was in the valley of shadows, through which the way lay to Jerusalem.  If Henry had turned back, and warned him at the gate of the heavenly Sion, surely such would have been his countenance; and Malcolm, when, like James, he had sprinkled the holy water on the white brow, and crossed himself while the low chant of Psalms from kneeling priests went up around him—clasped his two hands close together, and breathed forth the words, ‘Oh, I have wandered far!  O great King, I will never leave the straight way again!  I will cast aside all worldly aims!  O God, and the Saints, help me not to lose my way again!’

He would have tarried on still, in the fascination of that wonderful unearthly countenance, and in the inertness of faculties stunned by fatigue and excitement, but James summoned him by a touch, and he again followed him.

‘O Sir!’ he began, when they had turned away, ‘I repent me of my falling away to the world!  I give all up.  Let me back to my vows of old.’

‘We will talk of that another time,’ said James, gravely.  ‘Neither you nor I, Malcolm, can think reasonably under such a blow as this; and I forbid you rashly to bind yourself.’

‘Sir, Sir!’ cried Malcolm, petulantly.  ‘You took me from the straight way.  You shall not hinder my return!’

‘I hinder no true purpose,’ said King James.  ‘I only hinder another rash and hasty pledge, to be felt as a fetter, or left broken on your conscience.  Silence now.  When men are sad and spent they cannot speak as befits them, and had best hold their peace.’

These words were spoken on the way up the stair that led to the apartments of the King of Scots.  On opening the door of the larger room, the first thing they saw was the tall figure of a distinguished-looking knight, who, as they entered, flung himself at King James’s feet, fervently exclaiming, ‘O my liege! accept my homage!  Never was vassal so bound to his lord by thankfulness for his life, and for far more than his life!’

‘Sir Patrick Drummond, I am glad to see you better at ease,’ said James.  ‘Nay, suffer me,’ he added, giving his hand to raise the knight, but finding it grasped and kissed with passionate devotion, almost overpowering the only half-recovered knight, so that James was forced to use strength to support him, and would at once have lifted him up, but the warm-hearted Patrick resisted, almost sobbing out—‘Nay, Sir! king of my heart indeed! let me first thank you.  I knew not how much more I owed you than the poor life you saved—my father’s rescue, and that of all that was most dear.’

‘Speak of such things seated, my good friend,’ said James, trying to raise him; but Drummond still did not second his efforts.

‘I have not given my parole of honour as the captive whose life is again due to you.’

‘You must give that to the Duke of Bedford, Sir Patrick,’ said James.  ‘I know not if I am to be put into ward myself.  In any case you are safe, by the good King’s grace, so you pledge yourself to draw no sword against England in Scotland or France till ransom be accepted for you.’

‘Alack!’ said Patrick, ‘I have neither sword nor ransom.  I would I knew what was to be done with the life you have given me, my lord.’

‘I will find a use for it, never fear,’ said James, sadly, but kindly.  ‘Be my knight for the present, till better days come for us both.’

‘With my whole heart!’ said Patrick, fervently.  ‘Yours am I for ever, my liege.’

‘Then my first command is that you should rise, and rest,’ said James, assisting the knight to regain his feet, and placing him in the only chair in the room.  ‘You must become a whole man as soon as may be.’

For Patrick’s arm was in a sling, and evidently still painful and useless, and he sank back, breathless and unresisting, like one who had by no means regained perfect health, while his handsome features looked worn and pale.  ‘I fear me,’ said James, as the two cousins silently shook hands, ‘that you have moved over soon.—You surely had my message, Bairdsbrae?’

‘Oh yes, my lord,’ replied Baird; ‘but the lad was the harder to hold; and after the fever was gone, we deemed he could well brook the journey by water.  ’Twas time I was here to guide ye too, my lord; you and the callant baith look sair forfaughten.’

‘We have had a sad time of it, Nigel,’ said James, with trembling lip.

‘And if Brewster tells me right, ye’ve not tasted food the whole day?’ said Nigel, laying an authoritative hand on his royal pupil.  ‘Nay, sit ye down; here come the varlets with the meal I bade them have ready.’

James passively yielded, courteously signing to the others to share the food that was spread on a table; and with the same scarcely conscious grace, making inquiries, which elicited that Patrick Drummond’s hurts had been caused by his horse falling and rolling over with him, whilst with Sir John Swinton and other Scottish knights he was reconnoitring the line of the English march.  He was too much injured to be taken back to the far distant camp, and had accordingly been intrusted to the French farmer, with no attendant but a young French horse-boy, since he was too poor to keep a squire.  He knew nothing more, for fever had run high; and he had not even been sensible of his desertion by his French hosts on the approach of the English, far less of the fire, and of his rescue by the King and Malcolm; but for this he seemed inclined to compensate to the utmost, by the intense eagerness of devotion with which he regarded James, who sat meanwhile crushed down by the weight of his own grief.

‘I can eat no more, Baird,’ said he, swallowing down a draught of wine, and pushing aside his trencher.  ‘Your license, gentlemen.  I must be alone.  Take care of the lads, Nigel.  Malcolm is spent too.  His deft service was welcome to—to my dearest brother.’

And though he hastily shut himself into his own inner chamber, it was not till they had seen that his grief was becoming uncontrollable.

Patrick could not but murmur, ‘Dearest brother!’

‘Ay, like brothers they loved!’ said Baird, gravely.

‘A strange brotherhood,’ began Drummond.

But Malcolm cried, with much agitation, ‘Not a word, Patie!  You know not what you say.  Take heed of profaning the name of one who is gone to the Sion above.’

‘You turned English, our wee Malcolm!’ exclaimed Drummond, in amaze.

‘There is no English, French, or Scot where he is gone!’ cried Malcolm.  ‘No Babel!  O Patie, I have been far fallen!  I have done you in heart a grievous wrong! but if I have turned back in time, it is his doing that lies there.’

‘His! what, Harry of Lancaster’s?’ demanded the bewildered Patrick.  ‘What had he to do with you?’

‘He has been my only true friend here!’ cried Malcolm.  ‘Oh, if my hand be free from actual spoil and bloodshed, it was his doing!  Oh, that he could hear me bless him for the chastisement I took so bitterly!’

‘Chastisement!’ demanded Patrick.  ‘The English King dared chastise you! of Scots blood royal!  ’Tis well he is dead!’

‘The laddie’s well-nigh beside himself!’ said Baird.  ‘But he speaks true.  This king whom Heaven assolizie, kept a tight hand over the youngsters; and falling on Lord Malcolm and some other callants making free with a house at Meaux, dealt some blows, of which my young lord found it hard to stomach his share; though I am glad to see he is come to a better mind.  Ay, ’tis pity of this King Harry!  Brave and leal was he; never spake an untrue word; never turned eye for fear, nor foot for weariness, nor hand for toil, nor nose for ill savour.  A man, look you, to be trusted; never failing his word for good or ill!  Right little love has there been between him and me; but I could weep like my own lad in there, to think I shall never see that knightly presence more, nor hear those frank gladsome voices of the boys, as they used to shout up and down Windsor Forest.’

‘You too, Sir Nigel! and with a king like ours!’

‘Ay, Sir Patrick! and if he be such a king as Scotland never had since St. David, and maybe not then, I’m free to own as much of it is due to King Harry as to his own noble self.—Did ye say they had streekit him in the chapel, Lord Malcolm?  I’d fain look on the bonnie face of him; I’ll ne’er look on his like again.’

No sooner had old Bairdsbrae gone, than Malcolm flung himself down before his cousin, crying, ‘Oh, Patrick, you will hear me!  I cannot rest till you know how changed I have been.’

‘Changed!’ said Patrick; ‘ay, and for the better!  Why, Malcolm, I never durst hope to see you so sturdy and so heartsome.  My father would have been blithe to see you such a gallant young squire.  Even the halt is gone!’

‘Nearly,’ said Malcolm.  ‘But I would fain be puny and puling, to have the clear heart that once I had.  Oh, hear me! hear me! and pardon me, Patie!’

And Malcolm, in his agitation, poured forth the whole story of his having shifted from his old cherished purpose of devoting himself to the service of Heaven, and leaving lands and vassals to the stronger hands of Patrick and Lilias; how, having thus given himself to the world, he had fallen into temptation; how he had let himself be led to persecute with his suit a noble lady, vowed like himself; how he had almost agreed to marry her by force: and how he had been running into the ordinary dissipations of the camp, abstaining from confession, avoiding mass; disobeying orders, plunging into scenes of plunder, till he had almost been the death of Patrick, whom he had already so cruelly wronged.

So felt the boy.  Fresh from that death-bed, the evils his conscience had protested against from the first appeared to him frightfully heinous, and his anguish of self-reproach was such, that Patrick listened in the greatest anxiety lest he should hear of some deadly stain on his young kinsman’s scutcheon; but when the tale was told, and he had demanded ‘Is that all?’ and found that no further overt act was alleged against Malcolm, he breathed a long sigh, and muttered, ‘You daft laddie! you had fairly startled me!  So this is the coil, is it?  Who ever told you to put on a cowl, I should like to know?  Why, ’twas what my poor father ever declared against.  I take your lands!  By my troth! ‘twould be enough to make me break faith with your sister, if I could!’

‘The vow was in my heart,’ faltered Malcolm.

‘In a fule’s head!’ said Patrick.  ‘What right have babes to be talking of vows?  ‘Twould be the best tidings I’ve heard for many a long day, that you were wedded to a lass with a good tocher, and fit to guide your silly pate.  What’s that?  Her vows!  If they are no better than yours, the sooner they are forgot the better.  If she had another love, ‘twould be another matter, but with a bishop on your side, you’ve naught to fear.’

Malcolm turned away, sick at heart.  To him his present position had become absolute terror.  His own words had worked him up to an alarming sense of having lapsed from high aims to mere selfishness; of having profaned vows, consented to violence, and fallen away from grace; and he was in an almost feverish passion to utter something that would irrevocably bind him to his former intentions; but here were the King and Patrick both conspiring to silence him, and hold him back to his fallen and perilous state.  Nay, Patrick even derided his penitence.  Patrick was an honourable knight, a religious man, as times went, but he had been brought up in a much rougher and more unscrupulous school than Malcolm, and had been hardened by years of service as a soldier of fortune.  The Armagnac camp was not like that of England.  Warriors of such piety and strictness as Henry and Bedford had never come within his ken; and that any man, professing to be a soldier, should hesitate at the license of war, was incomprehensible to him.  The discipline of Henry’s army had been scoffed at in the French camp, and every infraction of it hailed as a token of hypocrisy; and to the stout Scot Malcolm’s grief for the rapine at Meaux, which after all he had not committed, seemed a simple absurdity.  Even his own danger, on the second occasion, did not make him alter his opinion; it was all the fortune of war.  And he was not sure that he had not best have been stifled at once, since his hands were tied from warfare.  And as for Lily—how was he to win her now?  Then, as Malcolm opened his mouth, Patrick sharply charged him to hold his tongue as to that folly, unless he wanted to drive him to make a vow on his side, that he would turn Knight of Rhodes, and never wed.

Malcolm, wearied out with excitement, came at last to weeping that no one would hear or understand him; but the scene was ended by Bairdsbrae, who, returning, brought a leech with him, who at once took the command of Patrick, and ordered him to his bed.

Malcolm could not rest.  He was feverish with the shock of grief and awe, and absorbed in the thought which had mastered him, and which was much dwelt on in the middle ages:—the monastic path, going towards heaven straight as a sunbeam; the secular, twining its way through a tortuous difficult course—the ‘broad way,’ tending downward to the abyss.  To his terrified apprehension, he had abandoned the direct and narrow path for the fatal road, and there might at any moment be captured, and whirled away by the grisly phantom Death, who had just snatched the mightiest in his inevitable clutch; and with something of the timidity of his nature, he was in absolute terror, until he should be able to set himself back on the shining road from which he had swerved, and be rid of the load of transgression which seemed ready to sink him into the gulf.

Those few and perfunctory confessions to a courtly priest who knew nothing about him, and was sure not to be hard on a king’s cousin, now seemed to add to his guilt: and, wandering down-stairs towards the chapel, he met a train of ecclesiastics slowly leaving it, having just been relieved by a bevy of monks from a neighbouring convent, who took up the chants where they had left them.

Looking up at them, he recognized Dr. Bennet’s bent head, and throwing himself before him on his knee, he gasped, ‘O father, father! hear me!  Take me back!  Give me hope!’

‘What means this, my young lord?’ said Dr. Bennet, pausing, while his brethren passed on.  ‘Are you sick?’ he added, kindly, seeing the whiteness of Malcolm’s face, and his startled eye.

‘Oh, no, no! only sick at heart at my own madness, and the doom on it!  O Sir, hear me!  Take my vow again! give me absolution once more to a true shrift.  Oh, if you will hear me, it shall be honest this time!  Only put me in the way again.’

The chaplain was sorely sad and weary.  He it was whose ministrations had chiefly comforted the dying King.  To him it had been the loss of a deeply-loved son and pupil, as well as of almost unbounded hopes for the welfare of the Church; and he had had likewise, in the freshness of his sorrow, to take the lead in the ecclesiastical ceremonies that ensued, so that both in body and mind he was well-nigh worn out, and longed for peace in which to face his own private sorrow; but the wild words and anguished looks of the young Scot showed him that his case was one for immediate hearing, and he drew the lad into the confessional, authoritatively calmed his agitation, and prepared to hear the outpouring of the boy’s self-reproach.

He heard it all—sifting facts from fancies, and learning the early purpose, the terror at the cruel world, the longing for peace and shelter; the desire to smooth his sister’s way, which had led him to devote himself in heart to the cloister, though never permitted openly to pledge himself.  Then the discovery that the world was less thorny than he had expected; the allurement of royal favour and greatness; the charm of amusement, and activity in recovered health; the cowardly dread of scorn, leading him not merely into the secular life, but into the gradual dropping of piety and devotion; the actual share he had taken in forbidden diversions; his attempts at plunder; his ill-will to King Henry; and, above all, his persecution of Esclairmonde, which he now regarded as sacrilegious; and he even told how he lay under a half engagement to Countess Jaqueline to return alone to the Court, and bear his part in the forcible marriage she projected.

He told all, with no extenuation; nay, rather with such outbursts of opprobrium on himself, that Dr. Bennet could hardly understand of what positive evils he had been guilty; and he ended by entreating that the almoner would at once hear his vow to become a Benedictine monk, ere—

But Dr. Bennet would not listen.  He silenced the boy by saying he had no more right to hear it than Malcolm as yet to make it.  Nay, that inner dedication, for which Malcolm yearned as a sacred bond to his own will, the priest forbade.  It was no moment to make such a promise in his present mood, when he did not know himself.  If broken, he would only be adding sin to sin; nor was Malcolm, with all his errors fresh upon him, in any state to dedicate himself worthily.  The errors—which in Ralf Percy, or in most other youths, might have seemed slight—were heavy stains on one who, like Malcolm, had erred, not thoughtlessly, but with a conscience of them all, in wilful abandonment of his higher principles.  On these the chaplain mostly dwelt; on these he tried to direct Malcolm’s repentance; and, finding that the youth was in perpetual extremes of remorse, and that his abject submission was a sort of fresh form of wilfulness, almost passion at being forbidden to bind himself by the vow, he told him that the true token of repentance was steadiness and constancy; and that therefore his absolution must be deferred until he had thus shown that his penitence was true and sincere—by perseverance, firstly, in the devotions that the chaplain appointed for him, and, secondly, in meeting whatever temptations might be in store for him.  Nay, the cruel chaplain absolutely forbade the white, excited, eager boy to spend half the night in chapel over the first division of these penitential psalms and prayers, but on his obedience sent him at once to his bed.

Malcolm could have torn his hair.  Unabsolved!  Still under the weight of sin; still unpledged; still on dangerous ground; still left to a secular life—and that without Esclairmonde!  Why had he not gone to a French Benedictine, who would have caught at his vow, and crowned his penitence with some magnificent satisfying asceticism?

Yet something in his heart, something in the father’s own authority, made him submit; and in a tumult of feeling, more wretched even than before his confession, he threw himself on his bed, expecting to charge the tossings of a miserable night on Dr. Bennet, and to creep down barefoot to the chapel in the early morning to begin his Misereres.

Instead of which, his first wakening was in broad daylight, by King James standing over him.  ‘Malcolm,’ he said, ‘I have answered for you that you are discreet and trusty.  A message of weight is to be placed in your hands.  Come with me to the Duke of Bedford.’

Malcolm could only dress himself, and obediently follow to the chamber, where sat the Duke, his whole countenance looking as if the light of his life had gone out, but still steadfastly set to bear the heavy burden that had been placed on his shoulders.

He called Malcolm to him, and showed him a ring, asking whether he knew it.

‘The King’s signet—King Harry’s,’ said Malcolm.

He was then reminded how, in the winter, Henry had lost the ring, and after having caused another to be made at Paris, had found it in the finger of his gauntlet.  Very few knew of the existence of this duplicate.  Bedford himself was not aware of it till it had been mentioned by James and Lord Fitzhugh the chamberlain; and then search was made for it, without effect, so that it evidently had been left with the Queen.  These private signets were of the utmost importance, far more so than even the autograph; for, though signatures were just acquiring individuality enough to become the best authentication, yet up to this very reign the seal was the only valid affirmation.  Such signets were always destroyed on a prince’s death, and it was of the utmost importance that the duplicate should not be left in Queen Catherine’s hands—above all, while she was with her mother and her party, who were quite capable of affixing it to forgeries.

Bedford, James, and Fitzhugh were all required at Vincennes; the two latter at the lying-in-state in the chapel.  Most of the other trusty nobles had repaired to the army; and, indeed, Bedford, aware of the terrible jealousies that were sure to break out in the headless realm, did not choose to place a charge that might hereafter prove invidious in the hands of any Englishman, or to extend the secret any further than could be helped; since who could tell what suspicion might not be thus cast on any paper sealed by Henry?

In his perplexity, James had suggested young Malcolm, who had assisted in the search for the lost ring, and been witness to its discovery; and whom he could easily send as bearer of his condolences to the widowed Queen; who had indeed the entrée of the palace, but had no political standing, was neither French nor English, and had shown himself discreet enough with other secrets to deserve confidence.

Bedford caught at the proposal.  And Malcolm now received orders to take horse, with a sufficient escort, and hasten at once to Paris, where he should try if possible to obtain the ring from the Queen herself; but if he could not speak to her in private, he might apply to Sir Lewis Robsart.  No other person was to be informed of the real object of the mission, and he was to get back to Vincennes as soon as possible.

Neither prince could understand the scared, distressed looks with which Malcolm listened to commands showing so much confidence in a youth of his years.  They encouraged him by assurances that Sir Lewis Robsart, who had a curious kind of authority, half fatherly, half nurselike, over the Queen, would manage all for him.  And King James, provoked by his reluctance, began, as they left Bedford’s chamber, to chide him for ungraciousness in the time of distress, and insensibility to the honour conferred on him.

‘Nay, nay,’ disclaimed Malcolm, almost ready to weep, ‘but I have a whole world of penance!’

‘Penance!  Plague on the boy’s perverseness!  What penance is so good as obedience?’ said James, much displeased.

‘Sir, Sir,’ panted Malcolm, ‘’tis not only that.  Could any one but be sent in my stead?  My returning alone is what Madame of Hainault bade—for—for some scheme on—’

His voice was choked, and his face was burning.

‘Is the lad gone daft?’ cried James, in great anger.  ‘If Madame of Hainault were so lost to decorum as to hatch such schemes at such a moment, I trow you are neither puppet nor fool in her hands for her to do what she will with.  I’ll have no more fooling!’

Malcolm could only obey.

In the brief space while the horses were preparing, and he had to equip and take food, he sped in search of Dr. Bennet, hoping, he knew not what, from his interference, or trusting, at any rate, to explain his own sudden absence.

But, looking into the chapel, he recognized the chaplain as one of the leading priests in one of the lengthiest of masses, which was just commencing.  It was impossible to wait for the conclusion.  He could but kneel down, find himself too much hurried and confused to recollect any prayer, then dash back again to don his riding-gear, before King James should miss him, and be angered again.

‘Unabsolved—unvowed!’ he thought.  ‘Sent off thither against my will.  Whatever may fall out, it is no fault of mine!’