Люди живут и работают очень по-разному. Кто-то справляется лучше, кто-то хуже. Кто-то более счастлив, а кто-то менее. Чем эти люди отличаются? Много чем, но самое главное – тем, как они собой управляют. Ведь в одной и той же ситуации люди:

• по-разному понимают, что происходит;

• принимают разные решения;

• действуют с разным настроем.

И результаты у них, естественно, разные. А все эти способности можно развивать. Можно научиться быстро улавливать суть происходящего, делать разумный выбор и настраивать себя на нужный лад.

Из этой книги читатель узнает, как развить уверенность в себе и не терять самообладания даже в самых эмоционально заряженных ситуациях; как достигать высоких результатов без насилия над собой; как развить проницательность и эмпатию, чтобы выстраивать эффективные и приятные отношения в личной и деловой жизни.

Зачем читать

В основном книги про эмоциональный интеллект убедительно объясняют, что это за интеллект и почему он важен. Но после их прочтения реальные способности человека не меняются. Разве что он теперь может рассуждать на заданную тему. Обычно у читателя даже не складывается понимания, как эмоциональный интеллект проявляется в его повседневной жизни – в реальных диалогах с коллегой, другом, руководителем, супругой или супругом. А ведь это – самое главное…

В книге «Адекватность» все наоборот. В ее тексте не встретишь рассуждений о пользе эмоционального интеллекта. Автор вообще не использует этого термина. Он просто показывает, как управлять собой в тех или иных ситуациях, и дает упражнения, чтобы это прочувствовать. После таких упражнений человек не просто испытывает озарение, он запоминает, что и как делать на уровне ощущений. И тогда он начинает лучше справляться в реальной ситуации, проявляя эмоциональный интеллект не на словах, а на деле. Именно поэтому, эту книгу можно назвать тренажером.

Для кого

Для тех, кто хочет развить уверенность в себе, делать карьеру без выгорания, владеть собой и своим настроением.

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Увлекаюсь литературой по саморазвитию и впервые вижу, что автор не рассказывает как правильно делать, когда происходит это или это, а дает упражнения, которые делаешь прямо сидя за книгой. Получается очень классный эффект: читаешь и как будто знакомишься с собой настоящим.

Пока прочитал половину, но уже сейчас очень хочется сказать спасибо автору! Теперь у меня на столе всегда будет личный терапевт.

","user_display_name":"ak","user_avatar_url":null,"user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":1019544492,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2022-07-23T21:40:54","likes_rating":69,"likes_count":74,"dislikes_count":5,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":5,"replies":[{"id":14686250,"caption":null,"text":"

ak, книга и об этом на примере наполненного событиями дня - "Мозг. Инструкция по применению" Рок. Короткий аналог - "Это просто ступор какой-то" Цукияма. Глубже - "Искусство любить" и "Иметь или быть" Фромм.

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Здорово, что книга, вроде, по саморазвитию, но много примеров из офисной жизни. Это хорошо для тех, кому важно находить взаимопонимание по работе. Сразу понятно, где происходят сломы в общении. Такой мануал охотника, который учит достигать цели, не расходуя энергию понапрасну в джунглях бизнеса. :)

Очень понравилось, как автор относится к читателю. Никакой хвастливости, никакого поучительства или догм. Очень заботливо, уважительно, но при этом прямо и конкретно. Мне близок такой стиль. Ну и сама система диагностики ситуаций и управления собой как-то по-новому определяет привычные вещи. Например, круто разведена “уверенность в себе” и “самоуверенность”. Теперь никогда их не перепутаю, как путает большинство людей.

И ещё: в книге много примеров и зарисовок ситуаций, поэтому легко разогнаться и начать читать “взахлеб”. Но на высокой скорости важные нюансы ускользают. Особенно, читая второй раз увидел, как много упустил в первый раз, потому что поторопился. Лучше смаковать каждую главу, по одной в день. Уверен, даже те, кто много знает о психологии, найдут в этой книге много нового и неожиданного.

","user_display_name":"Петр","user_avatar_url":null,"user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":746848839,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2022-08-24T20:16:38","likes_rating":37,"likes_count":40,"dislikes_count":3,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":5,"replies":[{"id":14686249,"caption":null,"text":"

Петр, книга и об этом на примере наполненного событиями дня - "Мозг. Инструкция по применению" Рок. Короткий аналог - "Это просто ступор какой-то" Цукияма. Глубже - "Искусство любить" и "Иметь или быть" Фромм.

","user_display_name":"Константин Сараев","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/00/04/88/99/45/4889945.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":4889945,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2022-10-20T00:30:23","likes_rating":-7,"likes_count":4,"dislikes_count":11,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false},{"id":15173279,"caption":null,"text":"

Константин Сараев , хватит везде писать свою ерунду.

","user_display_name":"Алексей Нуждин","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/01/99/54/84/67/199548467.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":199548467,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2023-01-09T12:51:30","likes_rating":7,"likes_count":8,"dislikes_count":1,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false}],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":2},{"id":13906072,"caption":null,"text":"

Интересная и глубокая книга. Почти вся про меня. Автор откуда-то знает, почему мне бывает страшно и что меня останавливает сделать то, что хочется.

Очень затронула мысль: когда у меня что-то не получается, это не обязательно от того, что я что-то не то сказала или не вовремя сделала. Часто это связано с тем, что я просто неверно поняла, что происходит. Когда показалось одно, а на самом деле происходит другое. Очень интересно начать видеть это другое

Ну и необычный взгляд на то, откуда берется мотивация. Такого еще не встречала, есть о чем задуматься.

Книге зачет

","user_display_name":"Татьяна Петрова","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/05/44/88/25/58/544882558.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":544882558,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2022-07-20T12:16:54","likes_rating":28,"likes_count":31,"dislikes_count":3,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":5,"replies":[],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":0},{"id":14741704,"caption":null,"text":"

Безусловно есть, что почерпнуть. Но затянуто, местами нудно, с излишнимм повторениями и слишком много рекламы и самопродвижения автора. И тут он умничка, и денег у него много, и там ему клиенты предлагают сами больше заплатить, и про курсы свои не забыл ввернуть, где все сильно быстрее, чем самому. Я нормально это воспринимаю в бесплатных книгах - такой негласный договор. Но если уж я заплатила, я не хочу терять время своей жизни на рекламу автора. А если автор меня временами бесит своими действиями, то и учиться мне у него кажется неэффективным. Я не хочу никого бесить. Ильяхову как редактору и "наставнику" тоже не плюс.

","user_display_name":"tiripok","user_avatar_url":null,"user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":261504184,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2022-10-28T08:35:58","likes_rating":27,"likes_count":40,"dislikes_count":13,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":3,"replies":[{"id":14896782,"caption":null,"text":"

tiripok, Зря вы так, автор вскользь упомянул о себе и том что он делает, это лучше позволяет понять что он за человек и почему я должен его слушать. никакого принуждения в книге к чему ты ни было, а то что вы упомянули, встречается максимум в нескольких строках за текст. Про то что денег у него много он не говорит, там о том что он знает цену своего продукта и не будет устравивать танцы перед клиентом, мне это очень помогло. Никакой гордыни там нет. Чувствуется, то книгу вы не читали, те кто ее читают начинают по другому относиться к миру)) У вас много негативной предвзятости к автору, а по сути книги вы ничего не написали. Попробуйте просто ее почитать и потом поделитесь мнением именно о книге. А Ильяхов вообще потрясающий книга читается легко, тут вообще непонятны претензии

","user_display_name":"О Н Пармезанов","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/07/79/09/96/27/779099627.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":779099627,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2022-11-21T22:37:22","likes_rating":12,"likes_count":22,"dislikes_count":10,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false},{"id":22970445,"caption":null,"text":"

tiripok, Автор сам неадекватен и не использует ни один из своих "советов". Блокирует комментарии на своем телеграм канале если мнение хоть немного отличается от его. Оставила свое мнение к посту о том как мама третирует дочку по поводу того как дочь одевается " нелепо". Написала с точки зрения педагога, что советовать маме "почувствовать себя хорошо" может в моменте и поможет, но проблема тут в самой маме и ее комплексах. И ситуация не решится просто психологическим "поглаживанием". Она будет повторяться. Что вы думаете? Меня вручную ( автор или его помощник) заблокировали и все комментарии стерли. На канале сплошь хвалебные оды его теории, которая очень ограничена и не применима ко многим отношениям, в том числе если человек имеет психологические травмы из детства. Ты не можешь просто " хорошо себя чувствовать" если не проработаешь эти состояния. Вот вам и "адекватность".

","user_display_name":"dynamite09122010","user_avatar_url":null,"user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":465671305,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2024-12-19T11:43:58","likes_rating":1,"likes_count":1,"dislikes_count":0,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false}],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":2},{"id":13884036,"caption":null,"text":"

По мне, так это книга про хорошую жизнь. Как научиться владеть собой и своими эмоциями, что в следствие даст вам вам приятный побочный эффект - уверенность себе. Много практических идей и нет "бесконечных лекций" на тему про эмоциональный интеллект.

","user_display_name":"Кристина Дудина","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/00/21/75/25/96/21752596.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":21752596,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2022-07-17T17:56:34","likes_rating":22,"likes_count":24,"dislikes_count":2,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":4,"replies":[],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":0},{"id":14299361,"caption":null,"text":"

Адекватность, довольно редкое качество, тем более в настоящее время:))

Эта книга открывает завесу наших возможностей. Автор наглядно показывает, чем мы на самом деле можем управлять и на что можем влиять. В книге много примеров , в которых я узнаю себя в разных ситуациях, где я старался оказаться правым или умным, где я пытался возвысить себя в глазах других, тем самым портя отношения. А эти случаи с эмоциональными выплесками, где я спорил и повышал голос на людей, с которыми хотел договориться,))) а потом жалел, что так “получилось” и долго не мог успокоиться. В эти моменты меня просто несло, и я этого не только не замечал, я даже не знал об этом:)))

Спасибо автору за возможность сделать свою жизнь лучше!

","user_display_name":"Александр Панченко","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/02/18/24/71/46/218247146.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":218247146,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2022-09-05T15:19:30","likes_rating":13,"likes_count":14,"dislikes_count":1,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":5,"replies":[],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":0},{"id":16380908,"caption":null,"text":"

Наблюдаю за тем, как с применением инструментов из книги меняется моя жизнь. Сначала прочитал, сейчас слушаю. Здорово, что автор озвучил книгу сам. Сергей, спасибо за вашу работу!

","user_display_name":"@m.kulichkin","user_avatar_url":null,"user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":434049193,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2023-08-05T15:33:14","likes_rating":10,"likes_count":10,"dislikes_count":0,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":null,"replies":[],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":0},{"id":15222580,"caption":null,"text":"

Не скажу что книга откровенно плохая, но и восторга она не вызывает.

Идеи преподносимые автором в книге, далеко не новые и не автором открытые. Связь вашего мышление с телом, важность отслеживания своего внутреннего состояния, давно изученные психологией и физиологией факты. Есть огромное количество книг на эту тему, но это безусловно не делает эту тему какой-то не актуальной. Как говорится все знают, но не многие задумываются.

Начало книги отличное, интересно читать, есть инсайты. Середина откровенно провисает, автор уходит уж совсем в какую-то суперпозитивную психологию ромашек, предлагает гадать, что там с настроением у твоего собеседника, строить теории. И дает советы в стиле кота Леопольда.

Очень странное отношение к психологам у автора. Я бы сказал, что в примере про "некомпетентных психологов", автор как раз описывает подход каучей, к работе с клиентом. Кем собственно автор и является. Ну или просто у автора искаженное представление о том, как на самом деле работает психолог. Ну и к тому же - это конкурентная ниша для автора.

Концовка чуть пободрее, но все равно вся книга по сути, это одна сильно растянутая и бесконечно повторяемая мысль.

Ну и куда же без порции самовосхвалений в конце, все таки автор бизнес кауч и книга во многом написана для привлечения новых клиентов. Ну ничего не имею против. Но это надо учитывать.

Книга хороша тем, что вновь поднимает тему важности самонаблюдений.

","user_display_name":"Bays23","user_avatar_url":null,"user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":350612605,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2023-01-16T15:24:37","likes_rating":8,"likes_count":12,"dislikes_count":4,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":3,"replies":[{"id":16393175,"caption":null,"text":"

Bays23 вы правы, новизны в мире нет уже со времен Бхагаватгиты…)

Я воспринял эту книгу как инструкцию по управлению собой, с пояснениями подходящими для современного человека, без «дыхания маткой» и «материализации мыслей».

Возможно, вы попали в одну из ловушек, о которых автор предупреждал, попробуйте еще разок, напоминая себе что с вамивсе хорошо. Удачи..)

","user_display_name":"Егор Бай","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/04/51/30/87/20/451308720.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":451308720,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2023-08-07T14:08:42","likes_rating":3,"likes_count":3,"dislikes_count":0,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false},{"id":22970459,"caption":null,"text":"

Bays23, Автор сам неадекватен и не использует ни один из своих "советов". Блокирует комментарии на своем телеграм канале если мнение хоть немного отличается от его. Оставила свое мнение к посту о том как мама третирует дочку по поводу того как дочь одевается " нелепо". Написала с точки зрения педагога, что советовать маме "почувствовать себя хорошо" может в моменте и поможет, но проблема тут в самой маме и ее комплексах. И ситуация не решится просто психологическим "поглаживанием". Она будет повторяться. Что вы думаете? Меня вручную ( автор или его помощник) заблокировали и все комментарии стерли. На канале сплошь хвалебные оды его теории, которая очень ограничена и не применима ко многим отношениям, в том числе если человек имеет психологические травмы из детства. Ты не можешь просто " хорошо себя чувствовать" если не проработаешь эти состояния. Вот вам и "адекватность". Выводы делайте сами, нужен ли такой "Коуч" и чему он может научить.

","user_display_name":"dynamite09122010","user_avatar_url":null,"user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":465671305,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2024-12-19T11:46:25","likes_rating":1,"likes_count":1,"dislikes_count":0,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false}],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":2},{"id":13913527,"caption":null,"text":"

Книга суперская. Читала с перерывами, чтобы максимально разобраться, «примерить»—попробовать применить. Информация изложена многослойно. Сейчас читаю второй раз и, к своему удивлению, открываю то, чего не заметила в первый. Автор оч грамотно погружает в смысл текста. Нет «воды», каждое слово несёт важную информацию, хотя с первого взгляда этого можно и не заметить. Рекомендую выполнять задания — у меня прям все переворачивалось внутри. Во многих примерах узнавала себя и удивлялась, что можно было по-другому.

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Супер! Давно не попадалась такая книга, которая так доходчиво и «неотвратимо» разложит по полочкам те вопросы, которые томились и назревали внутри. Респект и благодарность. Буду перечитывать непременно.

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