System life. How to organize life to cope with uncertainty and achieve results without burnout

Chapter 2. Planning

Prologue

Everyone has their own plan until they get hit in the jaw. Then many people, like rats, stop and freeze

Mike Tyson

In the first chapter, we analyzed what we have to start moving. In the second chapter, let’s move on to where and how to start moving? To figure this out, you need a planning process. Today it is fashionable to hide behind the VUCA-world, so as not to plan. There are no guarantees anyway, and no one knows what will happen. Therefore, there is no point in planning. Yes, no one knows what will happen. Before Tyson, Field Marshal Moltke said that in a battle, the battle plan is the first one to die. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to plan. It is better to start moving according to the plan and deviate than to start moving at random. No matter how scary the VUCA world is, no one bothers to make a plan for a year, quarter, week or day. It all depends on your ability to adapt in the first collision of the plan and reality. The shorter the planning period, the more likely it is that the plan will come to fruition. Because there is more clarity. But at the same time, the shorter the planning period, the more negligent we treat it. We are sure that we will solve everything quickly on the go, and it’s not worth bothering. Has it ever happened to you when you woke up on your day off and didn’t know what to do? Why is this happening? You knew it would be a day off, so have a rest. But you haven’t planned what you’re going to do. As a result, you need to strain yourself, come up with leisure and sort out options. Usually, you end up watching TV series and whining that you didn’t do anything over the weekend. Then a working week starts, and everything looks like a circle that never ends. Most people are busy doing things, not implementing plans. They just don’t have time to stop and ask themselves the question: why am I doing this? What goal does this bring me closer to or what problem does it solve? Because there is no clear goal and plan to achieve it. And when it is not clear what to do, the brain suggests doing what is clear and simple. Many will say they have a plan. It’s in the head, and they follow it. They can even list out loud: «And this must be done, and this …". If you ask them, «Why? What is the deadline and the output result?», they have nothing to answer. Planning is not thinking what you want to do, it is part of a system of self-organization in the form of specific processes. It is very important to learn how to transform a strategy into a process, and a process into a description of specific work actions. Without this, you can only do harm and accelerate the squirrel in the wheel to the speed of light. Fasten your seat belts. We are starting a chapter that will upgrade your knowledge about goal setting and planning.

There are no guarantees

Before planning, you need to take vitamins for thinking in the form of the text below. So that the update of the growth mindset accelerates and gets deep into your mind. Reading about the VUCA world, we seem to understand that there is uncertainty, and this is the norm, but we do not consciously accept it. Because certainty is a drug for our brain, and it’s not easy to do without it. We want to be sure that our company will not be closed during the pandemic, the working meeting will go well, the bank will not go bankrupt, the developer will not disappear, there will be a guarantee of work, we will have enough money to survive the crisis and so on and so forth. We want everything to be clear, stable, predictable. We want to organize everything, get guarantees, insure ourselves, avoid difficulties. We cannot stand uncertainty, and we begin to break down when it is unclear what will happen next. So strong that it is impossible to tolerate it, and we start having anxiety. Research has proven that we tolerate pain more easily than uncertainty, because pain is understandable to us. For example, the uncertainty that everything is going well at work has a worse effect on health than dismissal. No one is to blame for this. This is how our brain works. Look at the SCARF social behavior model (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness), which was developed by David Rock. It explains the five main goals that our brain perceives as critically important:

1. Status – a sense of respect caused by a position in the hierarchy;

2. Certainty – the ability to predict the consequences;

3. Autonomy – a sense of control over what is happening;

4. Relatedness – a sense of security next to others;

5. Fairness – the perception of a fair exchange.

Everything is quite logical. With the help of these goals, our brain fulfills the well-known instinct of self-preservation. From the second point it is clear that the brain wants confidence, and considers all the unknown stuff to be dangerous. It must know what any action will lead to, and will do everything to avoid uncertainty. But there is no certainty! If it were, we could say with 100% certainty that the ruble would not devalue, there would be no self-isolation, a war would not start, a meteorite would not fall to the Earth, etc. We try to make predictions, but there is no certainty anymore. If there had been, then 10 years ago you could have said: «I want to be the manager of a virtual influencer on a social network,» but no one could have imagined that such a thing could be. And no amount of forecasting would help to predict it. No matter how much we strive for certainty, we will never be able to get it. The brain wants what it doesn’t have. Yep, what a paradox. Think for yourself, there is no certainty in anything. Anything can happen, anytime. This has not been news for a long time. Nassim Taleb wrote everything in his books a long time ago. But the task of learning to accept uncertainty is still very relevant.

What to do with uncertainty?

First you need to change your worldview about the future, uncertainty and problems.

1. There is no image of the future anymore. The future has trends, but it is impossible to predict the future just by analyzing them. My wife’s uncle once said: «When we lived in the USSR, everything was clear. It’s like you’re flying slowly and steadily on a spaceship, but it’s clear where you are heading. And now you’re flying on the same ship, but 100 times faster, and meteorites are flying at you. And you only can try to dodge them.» Then there was no certainty either, but there was too little speed to notice it. Today, the speed of the world is regularly increasing and can make a leap in a day. If you are asked at an interview, «who do you see yourself in 5 years?», then you need to leave it or answer with a fictional profession. Let them prove that there will be no such thing in 5 years. Today life is like running in a fog. You can see it up close, but not further than 5 meters ahead. Like a map of the area in a computer game – it opens further when you come to its border.

2. We need to accept the uncertainty. Such a decision will give you the strength to make changes. When you stop looking for certainty in everything, there will be less stress. Most problems arise because you are trying to predict the future. Any prediction is stressful. A forecast describes events that may or may not occur. You can’t guarantee to influence it, but you try to find certainty and worry that you don’t find it. The forecast is your thoughts, as it may be, and the plan is what you will do at certain events. Only now we need to learn how to plan in the fog. To do this, you have 5 meters of visibility. Hang a sticker or poster at home «I accept uncertainty» and start slowly getting used to it. It will be a long way, but without accepting uncertainty, nothing new will happen.

3. There are no problems. There are only situations and your attitude to them. For example, people don’t want to make you feel bad, they do everything to make them feel good. It turns out their «good» can be «bad» for you. Why do people quarrel? Because they have different views on the same situations. For one it is a problem, but for the other it is not. Of course, tragedies happen in life, and everything is pretty clear here. But time does not stop. You also need to be able to relate to them and experience them correctly. It’s a lot of work, but it’s also a situation, and you have your own attitude to it. Animals have no consciousness and no problems. They are not able to give events such a characteristic as «problem». A crow on the branch is not sad that a raven does not approach her, and she is lonely. She doesn’t croak to everyone around that she has problems in her personal life. Only people call dissatisfaction with the situation or mismatch of expectations a problem. All the problems come from the fact that life has become too simple and safe. Now you don’t have to worry about being eaten by a lion or dying of cold in a cave. The brain is sharpened by evolution to search for risks and anxiety, but our life does not give it reasons. Therefore, the brain finds them in any situation, worries, and we call it problems. We avoid them and are afraid. Moreover, they so simply allow us to justify inaction or harmful decisions. Do not perceive problems as an evil force from the outside that prevents you from living. Replace the word «problem» with «undesirable situation» and make it a rule: «A task should be formulated from any undesirable situation.» Then solve it or use analysis to figure out why it can’t be done.

«Never explain with malicious intent

what can easily be explained by stupidity»

Hanlon’s Razor

Dependence on certainty can have very bad consequences. If everything is clear in advance, then what will be the motive to develop? When you become financially independent, you become more confident. The future begins to seem certain. This is especially dangerous for those who do not understand their true desires. For them, the comfort zone becomes a breeding ground for degradation. It will be everything, but it will be boring. Like in the joke about the new Russian, who called Christmas tree toys defective. Because they hung beautifully on the Christmas tree and did not, please him. When there is no uncertainty in achieving goals, ambitions gradually disappear. There are tribes of Indians who change their place of residence every two years. Thus, they give the soil a rest, and new locations require new skills and achievements from them to ensure their lives. They did not read books about self-development and did not undergo growth training. They noticed that there is a threat to development in the certainty and comfort zone. They realized that if a person does not learn to cope with difficulties, then he will break down at the first difficult situation, and such times will surely come in every person’s life.

Uncertainty is the beginning of everything new. A place where something happens. Your personal environment for new opportunities in which you grow and gain new experiences. If you do what you know, you don’t move forward. How can you get something new if you act in the old way? Everything new is a risk, and risk is the reverse side of new opportunities and changes. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty, it’s a part of life, and it won’t be any other way. Learn to enjoy uncertainty and notice that you will become happier. In short, you have no choice. Take the time to prepare to realize this and accept the uncertainty. You can wait for certainty and never start, constantly procrastinate and be afraid. Or you can take the first step and competently start moving forward, crushing the uncertainty. The main thing is to understand: while you are thinking, time is passing. It’s not waiting for you. Each of us has minus one day on the counter every day. It is in our best interests to solve it faster: stand still or do something, despite the uncertainty. I’m not saying it will be too late later. I say that you can start enjoying your life to the fullest earlier and do it longer.

Attitude to mistakes

Let’s suppose the previous paragraph gave you a dopamine boost. You imagined how boldly you begin to change your life in conditions of uncertainty. But then you are waiting for mistakes that will eat up dopamine, and therefore enthusiasm. They will certainly be. Even if the plan is ironclad, it is impossible to foresee everything. Any changes are a new experience, which is impossible without mistakes. When I moved to Moscow, the big surprise was the search for housing. We were so focused on the legal subtleties of an official stay and job search that we didn’t find out how the apartment was being rented. Suddenly we found out that if the monthly rent costs 30 thousand rubles, then you can’t just pay this amount and move in. You need to immediately pay 90 thousand rubles. Deposit 30 thousand rubles, for the first month 30 thousand rubles. and for the last 30 thousand rubles. You also need to pay the realtor. The risk that I did not foresee turned into an attraction called «Get out of your comfort zone for 2 weeks.» Negotiation skills, courage for a new one and tolerance for unpleasant work are immediately sharpened. For me, it became a lesson that you need to better analyze the subject area, and added a couple of points to the communication skill. No wonder Nietzsche said: everything that doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. If you do something and there are no mistakes, then you are not doing anything new. You need to try to avoid mistakes, but if they happen, then take them as an asset. This is your valuable experience, your knowledge, which moves you to a higher level. Each new approach to the task you will already do with a new experience, and each time you will go further. Like Tom Cruise in the movie «The Edge of the Future». Any step into uncertainty is a mistake. But not any mistakes are growth. You grow when you make new mistakes. If you step on the same rake every time, then go back to the analysis. Look for the root cause and eliminate it so that you no longer step on the same rake. You should strive to step on a new rake, and not walk on the old ones.

Look at the experiment with clay pots. One group of people was given the task to make as many pots as possible. The second group was told to make perfect pots as perfect as possible. As a result, there were much more almost perfect pots in the first group than in the second. In general, the quality of the pots of the second group was worse than the first. People who didn’t bother, but just performed – achieved a better result much easier! And those who tried to do it perfectly, so that they would be highly appreciated, were in a state of stress and could not even do well. They were afraid of the result, not the action. It does not mean that you need to make as many thoughtless attempts as possible to get the perfect result. You need to grow with every mistake. And if you concentrate on the ideal, then there will always be a fear of making a mistake. Like an anchor that prevents you from starting to move. Allow yourself to make mistakes, love mistakes and don’t blame yourself for them.

«Disappointment is a crystal lens

Fate rewards her favorites with it

So, we are standing at the border

So, something new is already being done»

GROT

Instead of «I’ve made a mistake» think, «how interesting it’s turned out, now I know something new.» As Thomas Edison said, he did not suffer defeats, but simply found 10,000 ways that did not work. Look for people who have made mistakes and learn from their experience. Any experienced person has gained experience through mistakes. Not from books and stories, but from mistakes. You, too, will become experienced only in this way.

In my last job at a marketing agency, not all of my employees and contractors were cool. Almost every one of our projects was a series of disasters. Problems with clients, threats and conflicts. Endless machine-gun fire of project management errors. If you make a list of everything that happened there, you can collect a volume of harmful tips for the profession of a project manager. I wasted a lot of energy and nerves then. I couldn’t change jobs or go on vacation to find my meaning of life in Bali. I hated those mistakes and constant disassembly, because I didn’t know what value they would give in the future. Now I am grateful to that time. I have gained a lot of experience in such a short period of time as in five years of working in a normal agency. Every step towards the goal requires you to master new skills to overcome new challenges. Skills are formed only through experience. To get a new experience, you need to try to do something that you have not done before. Today I aim to get errors in hypothesis testing and any tasks as early as possible. To take the shortest route as soon as possible. I try to complete any step with a clear result which is achievement of the goal by error or correction.

During interviews with candidates for the role of project manager, we spend most of the discussion discussing failures. Having understood what kind of experience a person had and what mistakes he made, I understand what level his skills were, how they were formed, what kind of thinking he had, and how he treated mistakes. Now many have learned to tell what good fellows they are. But not everyone can admit their failures, tell how it happened, what were the reasons and conclusions. What can I say? Not everyone can admit their mistakes and accept criticism. While writing this chapter, my wife sent me a meme about the Russian language. The author was Polina Masalygina. Her linguistic blog gave me hope that our planet can still be saved. She is very cool and makes unusual useful content with a soul. Be sure to subscribe and like her. Immediately I got to the story, where Polina described that personal criticism is the best motivation to change something in life. She posted a video from her long-ago presentation, where, in her opinion, she performed very poorly in public. When she saw herself from the side, she wanted to delete her blog, became very ill and engaged in self-flagellation for a long time. It was one of the ways, but fortunately, today we see Polina’s blog. As she writes, now she is engaged in self-flagellation with knowledge. This is very subtly noticed and shows by a real example that you do not need to be afraid of your mistakes. We need to use them for development.

Therefore, after accepting uncertainty, tune in to the correct attitude to mistakes. Treat them as payment for movement on the uncertainty card. Don’t get upset and don’t be disappointed when something went wrong or didn’t work out the first time. Don’t let the fear of failure or the unknown keep you from moving forward. Only inaction can be ideal. Act, make decisions and take responsibility for them. Believe me, it’s better than standing still all your life and putting likes to those who are not afraid of mistakes to go ahead.

«The best thing to do when making a decision is to do the right thing. The second most effective thing is to do the wrong thing. But the worst thing is to do nothing»

Theodore Roosevelt

Formation of the target picture

After accepting the current realities, you can start planning. But you don’t need to start with a plan. It is always better to start with the formation of the target picture. Descriptions of the end point where you need to come. We know the current situation, the tasks that need to be solved and the vector of our desires. Often desires can be expressed by dreams or vague wishes. At this stage, the desires need to move from an abstract vision to a concrete one. To do this, you need to accept that «desires» and «dreams» are not equal to the goal. Dreams and desires are your fantasies about you and your life in the future. Fantasies make it difficult to focus on the current situation and use resources here and now. Between the dream and the goal, I suggest using the target picture. The target picture is the requirements for your future life and the requirements for yourself. It is needed to structure the dream. The goal is specific actions with deadlines, resources, risks and scenarios of events. Why do we need such a multi-pass as «dream – target picture – goal»? If you have not previously analyzed your motivation – and, accordingly, your desires either – then there is a risk that your thoughts are saturated with fragments of other people’s desires or blurred. Everyone around us owns a business, drives expensive cars, eats in restaurants, travels, builds relationships and is very happy. This is understandable and pleasant to us, we want it. Such things are very easy to desire. It’s easier than figuring out your life, planning goals and solving your problems. If you are asked what you dream about, then you will answer very easily and quickly: a lot of money, never work, a strong family, travel, a house by the sea and everything like that. If I ask you to describe your desired life: «How much money do you need? What will you do? What country should I live in? What will your house be like? How will you spend your time? And why do you need this?» – almost no one can answer it. Because imagining the future is a very difficult task. I want something successful and cool, like everyone else, but it’s not clear exactly what. What difference does it make now that it should be specific? When I have the money, everything will become clear right away, and we’ll figure it out there. Just take my annoying job away from me now, put a couple of million on the account and give me everything that can be posted online in order to be loved and envied by everyone. I often observe how people with such dreams try to take steps to their realization. They read books and take courses to set goals. There they are immediately thrown from abstraction into goal-setting tools. For example, SMART, MOSCOW and the like. Such tools imply that the goal should be clear and specific. But how can a person put down deadlines and specific steps if he himself does not know the details or does not know how to correctly decompose the goal? If a person wants something so much that he tries to pack it into a goal, then it means that he did not have it before. He had never achieved such a goal before. How does he structure an endpoint he hasn’t been to yet? Without training and experience, nothing will work. Therefore, the target picture is a bridge that helps to make the decomposition of dreams more natural and understandable.

The target picture can be obtained in several ways, described below. You can take a dream and describe it in as much detail as possible. Schematically draw on a sheet or in Miro. This is some kind of picture. Just throw out all your wishes in one place. Describe the ideal image of the future. Not just a general description of how you are doing well and have no worries, but describe it in as much detail as possible where you live, what people surround you, what you have, what you do and why. At the same time, everything needs to be verified at once with the questions «why» and «what for» to check that you are describing your desired life, and not ways to stand out from others. You can go from the opposite. Take all the undesirable phenomena, write why you don’t like them, and how it should be ideally. For example, I worked at a factory, in poor conditions, with a terrible schedule, without prospects and enthusiasm. I knew I didn’t want all this. I formulated such an idea for myself that «I want to work in IT, in the field of website development. In a young growing company with a flexible schedule and loyal management. I will have a great team where I will grow. Our projects will help people, win competitions and set the bar for quality in the industry. I will be appreciated, and my career will constantly go up.» I didn’t know the target picture as I wanted, but I knew exactly what I didn’t want and what it needed to be replaced with. Note that there is no specific city, deadline and details anywhere. These are all the same abstract wishlist, but with protrusions that you can cling to in order to start detailing. The purpose of the target picture is to take the first step from abstraction to concreteness. Get all the visible components of your dreams. This will make it easier to move on to the formation of goals. It is also an additional step to verify dreams. Do they correspond to your desires, and do you need it in general? It sometimes happens that the target picture raises so many questions to the dream that you wonder how this dream appeared in your thoughts? There are so many questions that we need to understand further. It is impossible to form a target picture correctly and incorrectly. Any attempt will already clarify the decomposition of your dreams, and it will be easier to set goals. If you can’t make progress in creating the target picture, then this is a wake-up call. How can you set goals, if even at the general level you have no idea what your dream consists of. Whatever goal setting template you are given, you simply won’t be able to write anything there. After all, this level is more detailed than the target picture. If the target picture is difficult, then make drafts, think about the dream, imagine the result, make several versions. Think about it, analyze why exactly this is what you want in this form. And after a few iterations, get your target picture. The main thing is to understand what and how it should be in the future so that you are satisfied. Our path is a route from the current situation to the goal. But the goal is not the end point. There are many of them. Goals are the results that need to be achieved in order for the target picture to be brought to life. The target picture will help you immediately approach planning intelligently and set goals in the right sequence.