Read the book: «Mary Magdalen: A Chronicle», page 5
She shuddered, and he saw it.
“You have taught me to love,” he hissed; “do not teach me now to hate.”
Mary mastered her revolt. “Judas, the day will come when you will cease to speak as you do.”
“You believe, then, still?”
“Yes, surely; and so do you.”
“The day will come,” he muttered,“when you will cease to believe.”
“And you too,” she answered. “For then you will know.”
The dialogue with its variations continued, at intervals, for months. There were times, weeks even, when he avoided all speech with her. Then, abruptly, when she expected it least, he would return more volcanic than before. These attacks she accustomed herself to regard as necessary, perhaps, to the training of patience, of charity too, and so bore with them, until at last Jerusalem was reached. Meanwhile she held to her trust as to a fringe of the mantle of Christ. To her the past was a grammar, its name – To-morrow. And in the service of the Master, in the future which he had evoked, she journeyed and dreamed.
But in Jerusalem Judas grew acrider. He had fits of unnecessary laughter, and spells of the deepest melancholy. He quarrelled with anyone who would let him, and then for the irritation he had displayed he would make amends that were wholly slavish. His companions distrusted him. He had been seen talking amicably with the corrupt levites, the police of the Temple, and once he had been detected in a wine-shop of low repute. The Master, apparently, noticed nothing of this; nor did Mary, whose thoughts were on other things.
At Bethany one evening Judas came to her. The sun, sinking through clouds, placed in the west the tableau of a duel to the death between a titan and a god. There was the glitter of gigantic swords, and the red of immortal blood.
“Mary,” he began, and as he spoke there was a new note in his voice – “Mary, I have watched and waited, and to those that watch how many lamps burn out! One after another those that I tended went. There was a flicker, a little smoke, and they had gone. I tried to relight them, but perhaps the oil was spent; perhaps, too, I was like the blind that hold a torch. My way has not been clear. The faith I had, and which, I do not know, but which, it may be, would have been strengthened, evaporated when you came. The rays of the sun I had revered became as the threads of shadows, interconnecting life and death. In them I could see but you. In the jaw of night, in the teeth of day, always I have seen you. Mary, love is a net which woman throws. In casting yours – there! unintentionally, I know – you caught my soul. It is yours now wholly until time shall cease to be. Will you take it, Mary, or will you put it aside, a thing forever dead?”
Mary made no answer. It may be she had not heard. In the west both titan and god had disappeared. Above, in a field of stars, the moon hung, a scythe of gold. The air was still, the hush of locusts accentuating the silence and bidding it be at rest. In a house near by there were lights shining. A woman looked out and called into the night.
Then, as though moved by some jealousy of the impalpable, Judas leaned forward and peered into her face.
“It is the Master who keeps you from me, is it not?”
“It is my belief,” she answered, simply.
“It was he that gave it to you. Mary, do you know that there is a price upon his head? Do you know that if I cannot slake my love, at least I can gorge my hate? Do you know that, Mary? Do you know it? Now choose between your belief and me; if you prefer the former, the Sanhedrim will have him to-morrow. There, your sister is calling; go – and choose.”
It was with the hideousness of this threat in her ears that Mary escaped to the little room where her childhood had been passed and flung herself on the floor. From beyond came the sound of banqueting. Martha was entertaining the Lord, his disciples as well; and Mary knew that her aid was needed. But the threat pinioned and held her down. To accede was death, not of the body alone, but of the soul as well. There was no clear pool in which she might cleanse the stain; there could be no forgiveness, no obliteration, nothing in fact save the loss never to be recovered of life in the diaphanous hours and immaculate days of which she had dreamed so long.
For a little space she tried to comfort herself. Perhaps Judas was not in earnest; perhaps even he had lied. And if he had not, was there not time in plenty? The desert was neighborly. She could follow the Master there, and minister to him till the sky opened and the kingdom was prepared. And the threat, coupled with that perspective, charmed, and for the moment had for her that enticement which the quarrels and kisses of children equally possess. She would warn him secretly, she decided, for surely as yet he did not know; she would warn him, and before the sun was up he could be beyond the Sanhedrim’s reach, and she preparing to follow. For a moment she lost herself in anticipation; then, the threat loosening its hold, she stood up, her face very white in the starlight, her eyes brave and alert. Already her plan was formed; and, taking a vase that she had brought with her from Magdala, she hurried to the room below.
The Master; the disciples; Eleazer, her brother; Simon, her sister’s husband, were all at meat. Martha was serving, and as Mary entered Judas stood up. She moved to where the Master was, and on him poured the contents of the vase. Thomas sniffed delightedly, for now the room was full of fragrance. The Master turned to her and smiled; the homage evidently was grateful. Mary bent nearer. Thomas and Bartholomew joined in loud praises of the aroma of the nard, and under cover of their voices she whispered, “Rabboni, the Sanhedrim has placed a price on – ”
The whisper was drowned and interrupted. Judas had shoved her away.“To what end is this waste?” he asked; and as Mary looked in his face she saw by the expression in it that her purpose had been divined and her warning overheard.
“It is absurd,” he continued, with affected anger. “Ointment such as that has a value. It might better have been saved for the poor.”
Thomas chimed in approvingly; placed in that light it was indeed an extravagance, unnecessary too, and he looked about to his comrades for support. Eleazer and Peter seemed inclined to view the matter differently. A discussion would have arisen, but the Master checked it gently, as was his wont.
“The poor are always with you, but me you cannot always have.”
As he spoke he turned to Judas with that indulgence which was to be a heritage.
Could he know? Judas wondered. Had he heard what Mary said? And, the Master’s speech continuing, he glanced at her and left the room.
The moon had mowed the stars, but the sky was visibly blue. Behind the shoulder of Olivet he divined the silence of Jerusalem, the welcome of the Sadducees, the joy of hate assuaged. There was but one thing now that might deter; and as his thoughts groped through that possibility, Mary stood at his side.
“Judas – ”
He wheeled, and, catching her by the wrists, stared into her eyes.
“Is it yes?”
A shudder seized her. There was dread in it, anguish too, and both were mortal. He had not lied, she saw, and the threat was real.
“Is it yes?” he repeated.
There may be moments that prolong, but there are others in which time no longer is; and as Mary shrank in the blight of Judas’ stare, both felt that the culmination of life was reached.
“No!”
The monosyllable dropped from her lips like a stone, yet even as it fell the banner of Maccabæus unfurled and flaunted in her face; the voice of Esther murmured, and a vision of Judith saving a nation visited her, and, continuing, made spots on the night.
Judas had flung her from him. She reeled; the violence roused her. Who was she to consider herself when the security of the Master was at stake? How should it matter though she died, if he were safe?
“It is my soul you ask,” she cried.“Take it. If I had a thousand souls, I would give each one for Him.”
But she cried to the unanswering night. Where the road curved about the shoulder of the Mount of Olives, for one second she saw a white robe glisten. Agonized, she called again, but there was no one now to hear.
A little later, when the followers of the Lord issued from the house, Mary lay before the door, her eyes closed, her head in the dust. They touched her. She had fainted.
CHAPTER VIII
“They have him, they are taking him to Pilate.”
It was Eleazer calling to his sister from the turn of the road. In a moment he was at her side, dust-covered, his sandals torn, his pathetic eyes dilated. He was breathless too, and, in default of words, with a gesture that swept the Mount of Olives, he pointed to where the holy city lay.
To Mary the morrow succeeding her swoon was a pall. Love, it may be, is a forgetfulness of all things else, but despair is very actual. It takes a hold on memory, inhabits it, and makes it its own. And during the day that followed, Mary lay preyed upon by the acutest agony that ever tortured woman yet. Early in the night, before her senses returned, the Master had gone without mentioning whither. His destination may have been Ephraïm, Jericho even, or further yet, beyond the hollows of the Ghôr. Then, again, he might have loitered in the neighborhood, on the hill perhaps, in that open-air solitude he loved so well, and for which so often he forsook the narrowness of roofs and towns. But yet, in view of the Passover, he might have gone to Jerusalem, and it was that idea that tortured most.
It was there the keen police, the levites, were, and their masters the Sadducees, who had placed a price on his head. Did he get within the walls, then surely he was lost. At the possibilities which that idea evoked her thoughts sank like the roots of a tree and grappled with the under-earth. To her despair, regret brought its burden. A moment of self-forgetfulness, and, however horrible that forgetfulness might have been, in it danger to him whom she revered would have been averted, and, for the time being at least, dispersed utterly as last year’s leaves. It had been cowardice on her part to let Judas go; she should have been strong when strength was needed. There were glaives to be had; the head of Holofernes could have greeted his. The legend of Judith still echoed its reproach, and recurring, pointed a slender finger of disdain.
To the heart that is sinking, hope throws a straw. Immaterial and caressing as a shadow, came to her the fancy that if the Master were in the neighborhood, at any moment he might appear. In that event it was needful that she should be prepared to aid him at once beyond the confines of Judæa. Were he already beyond them, presently she must learn it, and then could warn him of the danger of return. But meanwhile, for security’s sake, had he gone by any chance to Jerusalem, some one must be there to warn him of the plot. She thought of her sister, and dismissed her. Martha was too feather-headed for an errand such as that. She thought of Ahulah, but some of those well-intentioned friends that everyone possesses had told of the misadventure to her husband, and the latter, cruel as a woman, had spat upon her, and now through the suburbs she wandered, distraught, incompetent to aid. Her brother occurred to her. It was on him she could rely. His devotion was surpassed only by her own. Thereupon she sought him out, instructed him in his duty, and sent him forth to watch and warn.
The green afternoon faded in the hemorrhages of the setting sun. Twilight approached like a wolf. Night unfurled her great black fan; the moon came, fumbling the shadows, checkering the underbrush with silver spots. Once a caravan passed, and once from the hillside came the bark of a dog, caught up and repeated in some farm beyond; otherwise the night was unstirred; and as Mary stared into the immensities where lightning wearies and subsides, a lethargy beset her, her body was imprisoned; but her soul was free, and in a moment it mounted sheerly to a fringe of the heavens and bathed in space.
When it descended, another day had come, and Eleazer was calling to her from the turn of the road. At once she was on earth and on her feet, and as the brother gasped for breath the sister’s strength returned. There must be no more weakness now, she knew; it was time to act. She got drink, water for the feet; then Eleazer, refreshed, continued:
“I ran through the ridge and up to where the two cedars are. I looked among the cypresses beyond, in the pines where the descent begins, through the olive groves below and the booths and tents beneath. There was no trace of him anywhere. I crossed the brook and sat awhile at the Shushan gate, watching those that entered. The crowd became so dense that it was impossible to distinguish. I thought I might hear of him in the Temple. The porch was thronged. I roamed through the Mountain of the House into the Woman’s Court, and out of it on the Chel. But they were all so filled with pilgrims that had he been there only accident could have brought me to him. It was on that I counted, and I went out on Zion and Acra, where the crowd was less. It was getting late. Beth-horon was dim. I could see lights in Herod’s palace. Some one said that the tetrarch of Galilee was there, the guest of the procurator. I went back by way of Antonia to Birket Israil and the Red Heifer Bridge. I had given up; it seemed to me useless to make further attempt. Suddenly I saw Judas in the angle of the porch. With him was a levite. I got behind a pillar, near where they stood, and listened. The only thing I distinctly heard was the name of Joseph of Haramathaïm. I fancied, though I was not certain, that Judas spoke as though he had just left his house. They must have moved away then, for when I looked they had gone. I knew that Joseph was a friend of the Master’s, and it struck me that he might be at his house. It is in the sook of the Perfumers, back of Ophel. I ran there as fast as I could. It was unlighted. I beat on the door: there was no answer. I felt that I had been mistaken, anyway that I could do no more. I went down again into the valley, crossed the Kedron, and would have returned here at once perhaps, but I was tired, and so, on the slope where the olive-presses are, I lay down and must have fallen asleep, for I remembered nothing till there came a tramping of men. I crouched in the underbrush. They passed very close; some had torches, some had spears. Judas was leading, and as an ape munches a flower he was muttering the Master’s name.”
Eleazer paused and looked at his sister. She was standing erect, her face wan, the brow contracted, the rhymes of her lips tight-pressed. Then, with a glance at Olivet, he continued:
“For a little space I waited. They had ascended the slope and halted. There was a shout, the waving of torches, then a silence. In it I heard the Master’s voice, followed by a cry of pain. I hurried to where they were. They had him bound when I got there. I saw a soldier raising a hand to his ear and looking at the palm; it was red. Peter was running one way, Thomas another. I got nearer. Some one, a levite I think, caught me by the coat. I freed myself from it and escaped up the hill.
“From there I looked down. They were going away. When they had gone, I went back and found my cloak. While I was putting it on, John appeared.‘They are taking him to Caiaphas,’ he said; ‘I shall follow. Come with me if you wish.’ I went with him. On the way we met Peter; he joined us. We walked single-file, John leading. Beyond I could see the lights of the torches, the glint of steel. No one spoke. Peter whimpered a little. We crossed the Kedron and got up into the city. The soldiers went directly to where Annas lives; they entered in a body, and the door closed. John rapped: it was opened. He said something to the doorkeeper, who admitted him. The door closed again. Peter and I waited a little, not knowing where to turn. Presently the door reopened, and John motioned us to come in. In the court was a fire; about it were servants and khazzans. I stopped a moment to warm my hands; Peter did the same. John had disappeared. I heard one of the khazzans say that they had taken the Master to Annas, and the others discuss what he would probably do. While I stood there listening, and wondering what had become of John, I saw the Master being led across the court to the Lishcath ha-Gazith. I left Peter, and followed. In the hall were the elders, ranged in a semicircle about Caiaphas. They must have been prepared beforehand, for the clerks of acquittal and of condemnation were there, the crier too, and a group of levites and Scribes. In a corner were some of Annas’ servants. I got among them and stood unnoticed.
“The Master’s hands were bound. On either side of him was a soldier. Caiaphas was livid. He looked him from head to foot.
“ ‘You are accused,’ he said, ‘of inciting sedition, of defying the Law, of blasphemy, and of breaking the Sabbath day. What have you to answer?’
“The Master made no reply.
“Caiaphas pointed to the levites.‘Here,’ he continued, ‘are witnesses.’
“He motioned; one of them stepped forward and spoke.
“ ‘I testify that this man has incited to sedition by denouncing the members of this reverend council as hypocrites, wolves in sheep’s clothing, blind leaders of the blind; and I further testify that he has declared no one should follow them.’
“ ‘What have you to say to that?’Caiaphas snarled. But the Master said nothing.
“The first levite moved back, and at a gesture from the high-priest another stepped forward.
“ ‘I testify that I have seen that man eat, in defiance of the Law, with unwashed hands, and consort with publicans and people of low repute.’
“ ‘And what have you to say to that?’Caiaphas asked again. But still the Master said nothing.
“The second levite moved back, and a third advanced.
“ ‘I testify that I have heard that man blaspheme in calling God his father, and in declaring himself to be one with Him.’
“ ‘Is that blasphemy or is it not?’Caiaphas bawled. But the Master’s lips never moved.
“The third levite gave way to a fourth.
“ ‘I testify that that man has broken the Sabbath in healing the sick on that day, and further that he has seduced others to break it. On the Sabbath I have heard him order a cripple to take up his bed and carry it to his home. I have heard him also declare that he could destroy the Temple and rebuild it, in three days, anew.’
“Caiaphas turned to the Master. ‘Do you still refuse to answer?’ he asked.‘Do you think that silence can save you? Have you heard these witnesses?’
“And as the Master still made no reply, Caiaphas lifted his hand and cried,‘I adjure you by the Eternal to answer, Are you the Messiah, the Son of God?’
“In the breathless silence Jesus raised his eyes. He looked at the high-priest, at the levites, the Scribes. ‘You have said it,’ he murmured, and smiled with that air he has.
“Caiaphas grew purple. He caught his gown at the throat and ripped it from neck to hem. The elders started. I heard them mutter, ‘Ish maveth.’ The high-priest glanced toward them. ‘You have heard this ragged blasphemy?’ he exclaimed; and, turning to where the Scribes stood, ‘What,’ he asked, ‘does the Law decree concerning the Sabbath-breaker?’
“One of them, the book unrolled in his hand, advanced and read:
“ ‘Ye shall keep the Sabbath holy. Whoso does any work thereon shall be cut off from his people.’
“ ‘And what of blasphemy?’
“The Scribe glanced at the roll and repeated from memory: ‘He that blasphemeth the name of the Lord shall be put to death. The congregation shall stone him, as well the stranger as he that was born in the land.’
“Caiaphas closed the fingers on the palm of his left hand, and, raising it, turned again to the elders. ‘Ish maveth,’they repeated, closing their fingers as he had done.
“I knew then that he was condemned. After all” – and Eleazer looked wearily to the ground – “it was legal enough. Each moment I expected him to give some sign, but, save to affirm the charge of blasphemy, during the entire time he kept silent. Yes, it was legal enough. From where I stood I heard the Scribes say that he would be sentenced at sunrise, and then Pilate would have a word with him. I could do nothing. Caiaphas still fumed. I went out in the court again. In the corridor was Judas. Peter was wrangling with the servants. I did not wait for more. I got away and into the valley and up again on the hill. A cock was crowing, and I saw the dawn. O Mary, the pity of it!”
He looked at his sister. There was no weakness now in her face, nor beauty either. Age must have passed her in the night.
“And I will have a word with Pilate too,” she said.
As a somnambulist might, she drew her mantle closer, and, moving to the wayside, ascended the hill. The silver and green of the olives closed around her, and with them the branching dates. Above, a star left by the morning glimmered feebly. In a myrtle a bird began to sing, and a lizard that had come out to intercept the sun scurried as she passed. Upward and onward still she went, and, the summit reached, for a moment she stopped and rested.
To the east the Dead Sea lay, a stretch of silk. At its edge was the flutter of ospreys feasting on the barbels and breams of the Jordan, which as they enter, die. Beyond was a glitter of white and gold, the scarp of Moriah and its breast of stone, the Tyrian bevel of Solomon, the porphyry of Nehemiah, the marble that Herod gave; ascending terraces, engulfing porticoes, the splendor of Jerusalem at dawn. Between the houses nearest was the dimness that shadows cast; those further away had a scatter of pink; about it all was a wall surmounted by turrets; beneath was a ravine in which was a brook, and a city of booths and tents, grazing camels and fat-tailed sheep.
Through the pines and cypresses Mary passed down to where the olives were. The brook sent a message to her; the blood that had flowed from the sacrifices was in it, and in the fresh morning it reeked a little, as such brooks do. It was here, she thought, the Master had been taken, and for a second she stopped again. The sun now was rising behind her; the color of the sky shifted. Beyond Jerusalem a mountain was melting in excesses of vermilion, and the ravine that had been gray was assuming the tenderest green. The star had disappeared, but from each tree broke the greeting of a bird.
A rustle of the leaves near by startled her, and she looked about, fearful, as women are, of some beast of prey. A white robe was there, a white turban, and beneath it the swart face of one whom she had known.
To her eyes came massacres. “Judas!”she exclaimed, and looked up in that roof of her world where day puts its blue and night puts its black. “Judas!” she repeated. Her small hands clenched, and the rhymes of her mouth grew venomous.
Then the woman spoke in her. “Why did you not kill me first?”
Judas swayed like an ox hit on the forehead. The motion distracted and irritated her. “Can’t you speak,” she cried, “or does hell hold you, tongue and all?”
He raised a hand as though he feared another blow. The gesture was so human and yet so humble that Mary looked into his face. Time, which turns the sweet-eyed girl into a withered spectre, must have touched him with its thumb. His eyes were ringed and cavernous, his cheeks empty.
“You have heard, then?” he said; but he evinced no curiosity. He spoke with the apathy of one who takes everything for granted, one with whom fate is to have its will. “I have just come from there,” he added, with a backward gesture.“I never thought that such a thing could be. No, I swear it, I never did.” Then, in answer perhaps to some inner twinge, perhaps also because of the expression of Mary’s lips, he continued: “If there is a new oath, one that has never been used before, prompt me, and I will swear again, I never did. I thought – ”
Mary interrupted him savagely:“There are ten kinds of hypocrisy. You have nine of them; you will develop the tenth and invent a new one besides.”
At this Judas made a pass with his hands and stared absently at the ground.“Mary,” he said, “life is a book which man reads when he dies. During the last hour I have been unrolling it. In its scroll I found existence a wine-shop where the guest fares so badly that he would go at once were it not that he fears to call for the reckoning. The reckoning, Mary, is death. I have called for it. I am about to pay. Let me tell you. I have no excuse to offer, no forgiveness now to await. My heart was a meadow: you made it stone. There were well-springs in it: you dried them, Mary. When I first saw you, you were a dream fulfilled. Others had brought echoes of life; you brought its song. It was then that I heard the Master speak. I followed him, and tried to forget. It must be that I failed, for when I saw you in Capharnahum my blood danced, and when you spoke I trembled. It was love, Mary; and love, when it is not death, is life. It was that I sought at your side. You would not listen. Innocence is a garment. You seemed to have wrapped it about you. I tried to tear it away. There was my fault, and this my punishment. Your right was inflexible as a prison-door, and yet always behind it was the murmur of a mysterious Perhaps. The others turned to me; I turned to you. I forgot again, but this time it was my duty, my allegiance, and my faith. Mary, I loved the Master more wholly even than I loved you. He was the Spirit; you were the flesh. In him was the future; in you the tomb. I thought to conquer both. While I mixed my darkness with his light, I pursued you as night pursues the day. On the light I have cast a shadow, and to you I have brought a blight. But, Mary, both will disappear. The one consolation I cling to now is that belief. When I delivered him up, it was myself I betrayed, not him. I am forever dead, and he forever living. While I bargained with the priests and pretended that my aim was coin, when I led the levites and the Temple-guard just here to where he stood, during all the hours since I left you, I tried to escape from that cage we call Fate. Mary, there is something about us higher than our will. The revenge I sought on you forsook me before I reached the city’s gate. It is the intangible that has brought me where I am. I have sworn to you I never thought this thing could be. I swear it now again. In carrying out the threat I made, I thought to make you fear my hate and make him greater than he was. His enemies, I had seen, were many. Those that had believed in him grew daily less. In Jerusalem his miracles had ceased, and I thought that, when the levites and the Temple-guard approached, he would speak with Samuel’s thunder, answer with Elijah’s flame. I thought the stars would shake, the moon grow red; that he would produce the lost Urim, the vanished Ark, and so forever silence disbelief. I was wrong, and he was right. Belief is in the heart, not in the senses; the visible contradicts, but faith is not to be confuted. No, Mary, the tombs are not dumb. I said so once, I know, but they answer, and mine will speak. On it perhaps a caricature may be daubed, and about it prejudice will uncoil. I deserve it. Yet though you think me wholly base, remember no man is that. Since I met you my life has been a battle-field in which I have fought with conscience. It has conquered. I am its slave; it commands, and I obey.”
He drew a breath as though he had more to add, and turned to where she stood. There was no one there. From an olive-branch a red-start piped to the morning; over the buds of a pomegranate a bee buzzed its delight; across the leaves of a myrtle a blue spider was busy with its web, but Mary was no longer there. He peered through the underbrush, and wandered to the grove beyond. There was no one. He looked to the hill-top: there was the advancing sun. He looked in the valley: there were the pilgrims’ booths, the grazing camels and fat-tailed sheep.
“She has gone,” he told himself. “She would not even listen.”
He bent his head. For the first time since boyhood the tears rolled down his face.
“She might at least have heard me,” he thought, and brushed the tears away. Others came and replaced them. When they had fallen, there were more.
“Yes, she might at least have listened. If I had no excuse to offer, at least I had regret.” For a moment he fancied her, cruel as only woman is, hurrying to some unknown goal. The tears he had tried to stanch ceased now abruptly. “She is right,” he mused. “She has left me to conscience and to death.”
He turned again and went back to where he had stood before. As he crossed the intervening space he unloosed the long girdle which he wore, and from which still hung the treasury of the twelve. The bag that held it fell where the bee was buzzing. One end of the girdle he tossed over a branch; the red-start spread its wings and fled. He looked about. There was a stone near by; he got it and with a little labor rolled it beneath the branch. Then he made a noose, very carefully, that it might not come undone, and settling it well under the chin, he tied the other end of the girdle to it and swung himself from the stone.
