Read the book: «Truly, Madly, Deeply»

Anna Jacobs

Award-winning author ANNA JACOBS writes both historical and modern romantic novels about families and relationships. She’s had over sixty novels published, with more in the pipeline, and she’s the sixth most borrowed author of adult fiction in the UK. She and her husband live half the year in Australia and half in the UK.

This story is a spin-off from her Swan River Saga series, set in Lancashire and Western Australia in the 1860s. If you’d like to read more about the group of young women sent to Australia as maids, try her three novels Farewell to Lancashire, Beyond the Sunset and Destiny’s Path and the spin-off series The Traders (starting with The Trader’s Wife).

You can find out more about her books, each of which has a separate page on her website, where you can read the first chapters and find about what gave her the ideas for the various stories on her website: http://www.annajacobs.com

A Sensible Proposal 1

1863, Lancashire

Sarah Boswick had been hungry for so long she couldn’t remember her last full meal. She stood quietly in the queue, not expecting more from the soup kitchen at the church than a bowl of thin soup and a chunk of stale bread. It would be her only food of the day.

None of the mill workers had realised that the war between the states in America would affect Lancashire so badly, cutting off supplies of cotton and therefore putting people out of work. Sarah’s husband had been delighted to think of all the slaves being freed. He’d been such an idealist, poor Daniel. He’d died a year ago, weakened by lack of food, and she still missed him.

The line of women shuffled forward and someone poked Sarah to make her move with them.

When a gentleman with silver hair stopped nearby, Sarah didn’t at first realise he was speaking to her.

Mrs Foster, one of the supervisors, said sharply, ‘You, Boswick! Step out of the line and answer the gentleman. He’s spoken to you twice already. Where are your manners?’

Sarah moved quickly, not allowing herself the luxury of resenting the scolding –it didn’t pay to cross the supervisors, not if you wanted to eat here regularly. ‘I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid my thoughts were miles away.’

‘It’s partly my fault. I should have waited to be introduced to you before I spoke. I’m Simon Marville, from the town of Swindon in the south, and I’m here because my church has raised some money for the relief fund in this area.’

She tried to pay attention but the smell of food nearby was intoxicating. Sometimes gentlemen or ladies came to the north to stare at the poor starving cotton operatives. It was annoying to be treated like a wild animal on display and it did little good that she could see. There would still be no work for those in Lancashire after the visitors had gone back to their comfortable lives.

‘Could we talk for a few minutes, Miss Boswick?’

‘Mrs I’m a widow.’ Sarah couldn’t help looking towards the food and as she did, her stomach growled.

‘Have you eaten today?’ he asked, still in that same gentle tone.

‘No, sir. The only food I’ll eat today is what’s offered here at the soup kitchen.’ She saw Mrs Foster looking at her and added quickly, ‘For which I’m very grateful.’

He turned to the supervisor. ‘Do you think we could have some food brought for this poor woman, ma’am? It’ll be hard for her to concentrate on what I’m saying if she hasn’t eaten anything yet.’

‘Of course. If you sit down over there, I’ll bring some across for you both.’

‘None for me, thank you. Save it for those who need it so desperately.’ He led the way to the table indicated, pulling out a chair for Sarah.

At least this visitor was treating her courteously, she thought as she sat down.

He took his own seat and was about to speak again when Mrs Foster brought her a big bowl of soup and two pieces of bread.

Sarah’s mouth watered at the sight of the larger bowl and extra bread. Clearly the lady patronesses were out to impress. She looked at him, wondering whether to start eating.

He waved one hand as if giving her permission and she could hold back no longer. She didn’t gobble down the food, because that would make her ill, but chewed slowly, spooning up soup in between each dry mouthful of bread. As she finished the first slice, she looked round and whispered, ‘Would you mind if I put this other piece of bread in my pocket, sir? I have a neighbour whose child isn’t thriving.’

‘No, of course not. Though you look as if you need it yourself. You’re very thin.’

‘I’m managing but it’s harder on the little ones.’

When she’d finished, he asked, ‘How long have you been hungering?’

‘Since my husband died last year, before that even.’

‘May I ask what happened to him?’

‘Daniel came down with a fever and hadn’t the strength to resist it. He was low in spirits, took it very badly not to be able to earn a living.’

Mr Marville’s expression was so genuinely sympathetic, Sarah felt tears rise in her eyes. She tried to change the subject. ‘What do you wish to talk about, sir?’

‘You, my dear. I’d like to find out more about your life.’

That puzzled her. What had the ladies been telling him?

‘I’ve been charged with helping select a group of cotton lasses to go to Australia, where there is plenty of work for those willing to become maidservants. The supervisor has suggested you. What do you think?’

She gaped at him. ‘Go to Australia? Me?’

‘Yes. Do you know where Australia is?’

‘On the other side of the world. I saw it on the globe at school. But I don’t know much else about it. I’ll have to see if there’s a book in the library.’ It had saved her sanity, the new free library had. If you could lose yourself in a book, you could forget the gnawing hunger for a while.

‘A ship going to the Swan River Colony will be leaving in two weeks. How long will it take you to decide whether to go?’

She looked round and laughed, though it came out more like a croak. ‘I don’t need any time at all, sir. If there’s work there, I’ll be happy to go because there’s nothing for me here, not now.’ Only Daniel’s grave, and beside him in the coffin a tiny baby who had not lived even one day.

‘How long will you need to get ready, pack your things?’

She looked down at herself and grimaced. ‘I have very little beyond the clothes on my back. I regret that. I’d keep myself cleaner if I could.’

‘A complete set of clothes can be supplied.’

‘I’d be very grateful.’

He hesitated and asked again, ‘Are you quite sure?’

She wasn’t sure of anything but to do something was surely better than doing nothing. ‘I shan’t change my mind, sir.’

‘Then you may as well travel south with me when I return. I’m sure Mrs Foster will provide you with clothes for the journey and we have other clothes in my church.’

‘Thank you.’ Poor box clothes. She knew what those were like but beggars couldn’t afford vanity.

‘Do you have any family here, anyone you should consult?’

‘No, sir. I’m an orphan.’ She’d only had Daniel. At the moment she was sharing a room with five other young women to save money. The others would be jealous of this chance she’d been given, so the sooner she could leave the better.

When Mr Marville had gone, she took her platter to the clearing up table and went to thank Mrs Foster for recommending her.

The other woman nodded then reached for a small, cloth-wrapped bundle. ‘You’ll need better food to face such a long journey. There’s more bread here and a boiled egg. Eat it all yourself.’ She held on to the cloth. ‘Promise you’ll not give this to anyone else like that bread in your pocket.’

She blushed in embarrassment. ‘I promise. Um, could I ask why you recommended me?’

‘Because you’re still trying to help others, sharing what little food you have. You deserve this chance.’

‘Thank you.’ Tears welled in Sarah’s eyes at these unexpected words of kindness.

‘Come back at four o’clock and we’ll go through the clothing in the church poor box to see what else we can find for you.’

She’d look a mess, Sarah thought, but at least she’d be decently clad. And warm. She’d been so cold during the winter.

2

Ellis Doyle stood by the rails, his back to Ireland, staring out across the water towards England. He and his wife had planned to go to Australia, and now it seemed the only place far enough away to escape the anger of his employer, an arrogant, spiteful man.

After the funeral he’d overheard Mr Colereigh gloating to his wife that Doyle would make a fine new husband for Mary Riley and get the expense of her and her children off the parish –well, he’d better marry her if he wanted to keep his job.

Mary was a slovenly woman with a nasty temper and three whining children of her own. Ellis wasn’t having his sons raised by such as her, nor did he want her in his bed.

He and Shona had made such plans for their boys and saved their money so carefully. As he saw her splintered wooden coffin lowered into the ground, he’d sworn that somehow he’d still make her dreams come true.

Ellis had heard good things about Australia. A man had come back to the next village to take his family out there to live. Ellis had spent hours talking to him.

He watched the massive buildings of Liverpool show on the horizon in the chill grey light of dawn, then went to wake Kevin and Rory, who were huddled together on a hard wooden bench below decks. ‘We’re nearly there and it’s light already. Come and look at Liverpool, boys.’

He helped seven-year-old Rory straighten his clothes, and checked nine-year-old Kevin, annoyed that however hard he tried, he couldn’t keep the lads looking as neat as his wife had.

He wondered what Mr Colereigh would say when he found that Ellis had run away while the master was visiting friends. Would he come after them? Surely even he wouldn’t go so far to get his own back?

By the time they arrived in Southampton, after a long rail journey from Liverpool, the boys were bickering and complaining. Ellis was exhausted but didn’t dare take his eyes off his sons.

The emigrant hostel consisted of large rooms full of bunk beds: families and single women were housed in one, single men in another. After they’d eaten, he put the boys to bed, warning them sternly that if they moved away from their bunks without his permission, they’d be in big trouble.

In the middle of the night he woke with a start to find Kevin standing beside him, tugging his sleeve.

‘I need to go, Da. You said not to go on our own.’

‘I’ll come with you.’

They used the necessary, then Rory said, ‘I don’t like it here, Da.’

‘It’s just a place to stay till we go on the ship.’

‘There’s nowhere to play.’

‘There’s a yard outside. They’ll let you out tomorrow after we’ve seen the doctor.’ He knew they were all three healthy, so didn’t fear failing the medical –well, not much. But they couldn’t leave the hostel now until they went on the ship. The supervisor had been very clear about that.

Ellis didn’t care. He didn’t want to go anywhere in England. All he wanted was to make a new start in Australia.

3

Passage was booked for the group of sixty female paupers from Lancashire on a ship called the Tartar. Sarah hated being called a pauper but it was just one indignity among many. They were sent to the emigrants’ hostel, which was crowded with people waiting to board the ship.

She was dreading the medical examination. Her new underwear wasn’t ragged or dirty but it was an older woman’s sensible flannel clothing, washed until it was grey and matted. She should be glad of it but with better food, vanity had returned. She hated to see her gaunt face and dull hair in the mirror. She looked years older than her age.

Most of the other women were haggard and some didn’t look respectable. A few even had the cropped hair of women coming out of prison.

Sarah saw a young woman from their group beckoning to her from the corner where there were four bunks. She hesitated but soon went across to join the woman and her two companions. They looked better fed than most and proved to be sisters.

‘I’m Sarah,’ she said to the one nearest.

‘I’m Pandora Blake. These are my sisters: Maia and Xanthe.’

Maia was weeping, mopping up the tears with a handkerchief, then having to use it again.

From what she overheard during the next few hours, Sarah realised the sisters had been forced to go to Australia by an aunt and were leaving behind a much loved older sister, for whose life they feared.

‘I have no one,’ she said when they asked about her family.

But she had hope now, shining brightly in her heart.

The medical examination took place the next morning: quick but still embarrassing. Then Sarah was sent to wait in the yard.

Some lads were there waiting for their father, and when two of them got into a fight, she took it upon herself to separate them.

‘What will your mother say if you tear your clothes?’ she scolded. ‘You want to look your best when you board the ship.’

‘The Mammy died,’ the older boy muttered. ‘And Da’s taking us to Australia. I don’t want to go.’

‘I do,’ the younger boy said

‘Well, I don’t! I won’t have any friends in Australia.’

A man came across to join them. ‘I hope my boys weren’t giving you any trouble?’

‘No, but they were quarrelling and needed settling down.’

He turned to glare at them. ‘Did I not tell you to behave yourselves?’

They scuffed their feet and stared at the ground.

He turned back to Sarah, sighing. ‘Thank you for your help, ma’am.’

Just then there was a disturbance by the gate. As he turned to see who it was, his face turned pale. ‘Dear God, the master’s sent his bailiff after us.’

Sarah looked at him quickly. ‘What did you do?’

‘Left the estate after my wife died instead of marrying a woman the landowner chose.’

Sarah saw the desperation on his face. She knew how arrogant some employers could be and her heart went out to him. ‘You could pretend I’m your wife. He won’t have any use for you then.’

He stared at her. ‘Are you sure? Thank you.’

‘My name’s Sarah Boswick.’

‘Mine’s Ellis Doyle.’

‘Put your arm round my shoulders and look affectionate. Rory, in this game I’m your new mother. Come and stand next to me.’

‘I want to go back,’ Kevin said.

‘And have Mary Riley for your mother?’

Kevin hesitated then went to his father’s side.

By the time the constable got to them, they were standing as a family group.

‘This is Doyle,’ the bailiff said. ‘He’s running away from the woman he promised to marry. Mr Colereigh wants him back.’

Ellis seemed to be fumbling for words, so Sarah spoke for him. ‘Well, he can’t marry anyone else. He’s married to me.’

‘There hasn’t been time.’

‘We bought a special licence.’

‘I’d not have come back, even if I hadn’t married Sarah,’ Ellis said. ‘And there’s no law that says I have to.’

The bailiff leaned forward. ‘What if the master said you’d stolen some money? You don’t have enough for a special licence.’

‘You never said anything about stolen money,’ the supervisor said, looking suspiciously from the bailiff to Doyle.

‘It was my money that bought the special licence,’ Sarah said. ‘It took every penny I had. He had none left from paying the fares.’

Ellis put his arm round her and pulled her close. ‘Even if you forced me to go back, I couldn’t marry Mary Riley now, could I?’

Everything hung in the balance for a moment or two, then the bailiff stepped back. ‘I’d not marry her either. It’d be better if I tell him I couldn’t find you. Don’t ever come back, though.’

They watched him walk away, then Sarah realised Ellis was still holding her close. She didn’t dare move until the bailiff was out of sight. And she didn’t want to move either. She’d missed the feel of a man’s strong arm round her shoulders.

Ellis moved away. ‘Your quick thinking saved us. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.’

‘He didn’t ask to see the marriage lines. He could have proved us wrong.’

‘No. He’s not a bad fellow but if he wants to keep his job and home, he has to do as he’s told.’

Rory tugged at her skirt. ‘Are you really our new mother?’

‘No. We were just pretending. But I can be your new friend.’ Her eyes sought Ellis’s for permission and he nodded.

4

As they stood there, Ellis cleared his throat. ‘Um, I probably need to go and see the supervisor and explain to him that we aren’t really married. Will you keep an eye on these two rascals for a few moments?’

‘Of course.’

But suddenly the supervisor came striding back into the yard. He walked across to Sarah and Ellis, scowling. ‘I want the truth now. Are you two married or not?’

‘No, we’re not,’ Ellis said in his lilting Irish voice.

‘Well, you’ll need to get married if you want to travel as a family.’ The supervisor studied the children. ‘Looks to me as if these two need a mother’s care.’

Sarah could feel her cheeks burning because she’d had a sudden fervent wish that she was married again. She was so tired of being alone, fending for herself.

The supervisor looked at her disapprovingly. ‘We don’t allow any hanky-panky on board, Miss. They’re very strict about that sort of thing.’

‘I’m a widow, not a “Miss”.’

‘It’s not hanky-panky to be courting someone,’ Ellis told him. ‘And that’s what we’re doing, courting.’ He put the arm back round her shoulders.

It felt good.

The supervisor’s voice softened. ‘Oh, it’s like that, is it? Well, I’ll have to report this but no one can stop you talking to one another on deck.’

He walked away and Ellis turned to Sarah. ‘I had to say something to save your good name.’

‘I’m really grateful. But…we’ll have to meet and talk to one another or they’ll be suspicious.’

‘I know. I hope you don’t mind.’ He looked at her as he spoke but not the way a man looks at a woman he desires. Pity.

There would be other women on the ship who were nicely dressed, who would attract and keep the attention of a man like him. Such a nice-looking man.

She sighed and told herself not to be stupid. But she wasn’t used to being ignored. She’d been told many times she was a fine-looking woman. Other men had wanted to court her when she was younger, not just Daniel.

She wasn’t fine-looking now, wouldn’t have been even if she had been dressed nicely. Haggard was the best way of describing her, and she knew she looked years older than her age.

Perhaps one day she’d attract a man again, even if not this one. She’d like to marry, have children, live a normal life.

In the meantime, she had an adventure to face: a journey by ship to the other side of the world.

She had new friends: Ellis and his boys, and the Blake sisters. They were well-read and always had something interesting to say. She envied them their education. They must have read many more books than she had. She would enjoy their companionship on the ship.

5

Sarah was glad when it was time to board the ship but sorry to find herself lodged with another group of single women –widows like herself –instead of with Pandora and her sisters.

Her cabin was large. It had a long narrow table down the middle and cubicles down the sides, each sleeping four women in two pairs of hard, narrow bunks. They were placed in messes of eight with a leader appointed to take care of the food for the whole group. Why they chose Sarah as leader, she couldn’t work out. She didn’t want to be singled out in any way, just wanted to build up her health.

When they went up on deck, the matron kept a careful eye on the single women. That amused Sarah. Did they think any of the men would want women who looked like starvelings?

She didn’t see the Doyles the first time on deck, but on her second outing little Rory came running towards her smiling and she found herself sitting there talking to him, telling him stories as her mother used to do with her.

Kevin stood to one side pretending not to listen.

Ellis came across to join his sons, speaking politely about the weather, not staying long. He didn’t waste words, that was for sure.

At first time hung heavy on their hands. Everyone feared for the three months the voyage would take, but to her delight the ship’s passengers organised classes to help pass the three month journey to Australia. She joined groups for reading and sewing, went to the regular weekly concert. She’d have joined the choir, because she loved music, but she was a poor singer, often making people wince when she did join in.

She noticed that Ellis was in the choir and found the boys coming to sit with her during the concerts. Afterwards he would always hurry them away.

There was no pretence of courting. Well, it wasn’t real, was it? He probably found her ugly, with her scrawny body and horrible old clothes.

Only once did they have a real conversation.

‘What did you do in Ireland, Mr Doyle?’ she asked.

‘I was a stable hand. I’m good with horses. But I’ll work at anything to make a good life for my lads in Australia. It must be hard for you, going so far away on your own.’

‘Yes, but I have a job waiting, as a maid.’

‘Will you like that?’

‘I’ll like eating regularly and being paid. And it’ll give me a start.’

‘I don’t have a job waiting. But I’m hopeful. People always need help with horses, don’t you think?’

He stood as if trying to think of something to say, then walked away abruptly.

Although the journey was long and the confines of the ship so stifling, Sarah found enjoyment in reading and sewing classes.

In the reading class, the Blake sisters were the best speakers. Sarah could have sat and listened to them all day.

Ellis was also a member of the reading group but when he was asked to take his turn, he read so haltingly and looked so embarrassed that he wasn’t asked again. The teacher was tactful like that.

A very short woman called Miss Roswell was the best at sewing. It was obvious that she didn’t need lessons, just wanted the company. She soon began helping the teacher, who could get a bit impatient if people were clumsy in their work.

When the teacher claimed exhaustion and gave up running the class, Miss Roswell took over, which was all to the good.

One day she asked Sarah to stay behind. ‘I hope you don’t think I’m being too personal but I know what it’s been like for the people of Lancashire. I can see that your clothes were made for other women and I wondered if you’d like me to help you alter them?’

Sarah felt ashamed but wasn’t going to miss an opportunity like that. ‘Would you have time?’

‘I have all too much time on my hands at the moment. You’d be doing me a favour.’

Gradually, Sarah’s hand-me-downs were transformed into well-fitting and even stylish clothes. Oh, that made her feel so much better.

But out of perversity, she didn’t wear the best of them, even though Miss Roswell had hinted that Ellis kept looking at her when he thought no one would notice and she should encourage him.

Sarah knew her face had become rosier, could see for herself that she was getting her shape back under her newly altered clothes. But if he had to have her wearing new clothes to want her, then he wasn’t worth it. Was he? Or was she being too proud?

Ellis joined the reading group to while away the long hours of doing nothing. He sent his lads to a class for children, relieved that they wouldn’t see how poor he was at reading. Well, when had he ever had the chance for a proper education?

He saw Mrs Boswick in the class but when he made a mess of his first reading and heard how well she could read, he felt too ashamed to do anything but sit at the back and try to escape everyone’s notice.

He was glad to see her looking better, filling out a little, getting nice rosy cheeks. She must have been short of food for a long time. She wasn’t the only woman whose appearance had changed since they set off. Quite a few of them had blossomed. But the others didn’t interest him. She did.

After the second reading group meeting the teacher asked him to stay behind.

‘Would you like me to give you some extra help with the reading, Mr Doyle?’

‘Why would you do that, Mr Paine?’

‘Because I have too much time on my hands and because reading is such a joy to me that I like to share it with others.’

‘Oh. Well. If you don’t mind, I’d be grateful, I would so.’

‘You can come to my cabin for the lessons. We can be private there.’

But what was he going to do with his boys? They were so lively, they needed someone to keep an eye on them. He didn’t want them falling overboard.

After some thought, he asked Mrs Boswick if she’d mind watching them because she seemed to enjoy their company. He was too embarrassed to explain why, but she didn’t ask, just said in her usual quiet way, ‘I’d enjoy that. We can play games or I can read to them.’

Rory in particular seemed very attached to her. Ellis wasn’t sure whether that fondness for her was a good or bad thing. After all, they might never see one another again after they arrived in Australia and Rory had already lost one person he loved. But learning to read better was so important, Ellis took the risk of her finding out what he was doing and looking down on him.