A Counter-Blaste to Tobacco

And what greater absurditie can there bee, then to say that one cure shall serue for diuers, nay, contrarious sortes of diseases? It is an vndoubted ground among all Physicians, that there is almost no sort either of nourishment or medicine, that hath not some thing in it disagreeable to some part of mans bodie, because, as I haue already sayd, the nature of the temperature of euery part, is so different from another, that according to the olde prouerbe, That which is good for the head, is euill for the necke and the shoulders. For euen as a strong enemie, that inuades a towne or fortresse, although in his siege thereof, he do belaie and compasse it round about, yet he makes his breach and entrie, at some one or few special parts thereof, which hee hath tried and found to bee weakest and least able to resist; so sicknesse doth make her particular assault, vpon such part or parts of our bodie, as are weakest and easiest to be ouercome by that sort of disease, which then doth assaile vs, although all the rest of the body by Sympathie feele it selfe, to be as it were belaied, and besieged by the affliction of that speciall part, the griefe and smart thereof being by the sense of feeling dispersed through all the rest of our members. And therefore the skilfull Physician presses by such cures, to purge and strengthen that part which is afflicted, as are only fit for that sort of disease, and doe best agree with the nature of that infirme part; which being abused to a disease of another nature, would prooue as hurtfull for the one, as helpfull for the other. Yea, not only will a skilfull and warie Physician bee carefull to vse no cure but that which is fit for that sort of disease, but he wil also consider all other circumstances, and make the remedies suitable thereunto; as the temperature of the clime where the Patient is, the constitution of the Planets,⁷ the time of the Moone, the season of the yere, the age and complexion of the Patient, and the present state of his body, in strength or weaknesse. For one cure must not euer be vsed for the self-same disease, but according to the varying of any of the foresaid circumstances, that sort of remedie must be vsed which is fittest for the same. Whear by the contrarie in this case, such is the miraculous omnipotencie of our strong tasted Tobacco, as it cures all sorts of diseases (which neuer any drugge could do before) in all persons, and at all times. It cures all maner of distellations, either in the head or stomacke (if you beleeue their Axiomes) although in very deede it doe both corrupt the braine, and by causing ouer quicke disgestion, fill the stomacke full of crudities. It cures the Gowt in the feet, and (which is miraculous) in that very instant when the smoke thereof, as light, flies vp into the head, the vertue thereof, as heauie, runs downe to the little toe. It helpes all sorts of Agues. It makes a man sober that was drunke. It refreshes a weary man, and yet makes a man hungry. Being taken when they goe to bed, it makes one sleepe soundly, and yet being taken when a man is sleepie and drowsie, it will, as they say, awake his braine, and quicken his vnderstanding. As for curing of the Pockes, it serues for that vse but among the pockie Indian slaues. Here in England it is refined, and will not deigne to cure heere any other then cleanly and gentlemanly diseases. Omnipotent power of Tobacco! And if it could by the smoke thereof chace our deuils, as the smoke of Tobias fish did (which I am sure could smel no stronglier) it would serue for a precious Relicke, both for the superstitious Priests, and the insolent Puritanes, to cast out deuils withall. Admitting then, and not confessing that the vse thereof were healthfull for some sortes of diseases; should it be vsed for all sicknesses? should it be vsed by all men? should it be vsed at al times? yea should it be vsed by able, yong, strong, healthfull men? Medicine hath that vertue that it neuer leaueth a man in that state wherein it findeth him: it makes a sicke man whole, but a whole man sicke. And as Medicine helpes nature being taken at times of necessitie, so being euer and continually vsed, it doth but weaken, wearie, and weare nature. What speak I of Medicine? Nay let a man euery houre of the day, or as oft as many in this countrey vse to take Tobacco, let a man I say, but take as oft the best sorts of nourishments in meate and drinke that can bee deuised, hee shall with the continuall vse thereof weaken both his head and his stomacke: all his members shall become feeble, his spirits dull, and in the end, as a drowsie lazie belly-god, he shall euanish in a Lethargie.

And from this weaknesse it proceeds, that many in this kingdome haue had such a continuall vse of taking this vnsauerie smoke, as now they are not able to forbeare the same, no more than an olde drunkard can abide to be long sober, without falling into an vncurable weakenesse and euill constitution: for their continuall custome hath made to them, habitum, alteram naturam: so to those that from their birth haue bene continually nourished vpon poison and things venemous, wholesome meates are onely poisonable.

Thus hauing, as I truste, sufficiently answered the most principall arguments that are vsed in defence of this vile custome, it rests onely to informe you what sinnes and vanities you commit in the filthie abuse thereof. First are you not guiltie of sinnefull and shamefull lust? (for lust may bee as well in any of the senses as in feeling) that although you bee troubled with no disease, but in perfect health, yet can you neither be merry at an Ordinarie, nor lasciuious in the Stewes, if you lacke Tobacco to prouoke your appetite to any of those sorts of recreation, lusting after it as the children of Israel did in the wildernesse after Quailes? Secondly it is, as you vse or rather abuse it, a branche of the sinne of drunkennesse, which is the roote of all sinnes: for as the onely delight that drunkards take in wine is in the strength of the taste, and the force of the fume thereof that mounts vp to the braine: for no drunkards loue any weake, or sweete drinke: so are not those (I meane the strong heate and the fume), the onely qualities that make Tobacco so delectable to all the louers of it? And as no man likes strong headie drinke the first day (because nemo repente fit turpissimus), but by custome is piece and piece allured, while in the ende, a drunkard will haue as great a thirst with a draught as when hee hath need of it: So is not this the very case of all the great takers of Tobacco? which therefore they themselues do attribute to a bewitching qualitie in it. Thirdly, is it not the greatest sinne of all, that you the people of all sortes of this Kingdome, who are created and ordeined by God to bestowe both your persons and goods for the maintenance both of the honour and safetie of your King and Commonwealth, should disable yourselves in both? In your persons hauing by this continuall vile custome brought yourselues to this shameful imbecilitie, that you are not able to ride or walke the journey of a Jewes Sabboth, but you must haue a reekie cole brought you from the next poore house to kindle your Tobacco with? where as he cannot be thought able for any seruice in the warres, that cannot endure oftentimes the want of meate, drinke, and sleepe, much more then must hee endure the want of Tobacco. In the times of the many glorious and victorious battailes fought by this nation, there was no word of Tobacco. But now if it were time of warres, and that you were to make some sudden Caualcado⁸ vpon your enemies, if any of you should seeke leisure to stay behinde his fellowe for taking of Tobacco, for my part I should neuer bee sorie for any euill chance that might befall him.⁹ To take a custome in any thing that bee left againe, is most harmefull to the people of any land. Mollicies and delicacie were the wracke and ouerthrow, first of the Persian, and next of the Romane Empire. And this very custome of taking Tobacco (whereof our present purpose is), is euen at this day accounted so effeminate among the Indians themselues, as in the market they will offer no price for a slaue to be sold, whome they finde to be a great Tobacco taker.