Read the book: «Biography for Beginners»

INTRODUCTORY REMARKS

 
The Art of Biography
Is different from Geography.
Geography is about Maps,
But Biography is about Chaps.
 

SIR CHRISTOPHER WREN

 
Sir Christopher Wren
Said, "I am going to dine with some men.
"If anybody calls
"Say I am designing St. Paul's."
 

MIGUEL DE CERVANTES

 
The people of Spain think Cervantes
Equal to half-a-dozen Dantes:
An opinion resented most bitterly
By the people of Italy.
 

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

 
Mr Bernard Shaw
Was just setting out for the war,
When he heard it was a dangerous trade
And demonstrably underpaid.
 

SIR HUMPHREY DAVY

 
Sir Humphrey Davy
Abominated gravy.
He lived in the odium
Of having discovered Sodium.
 

J. S. MILL

 
John Stuart Mill,
By a mighty effort of will,
Overcame his natural bonhomie
And wrote "Principles of Political Economy."
 

FRANÇOIS LISZT

 
The Abbé Liszt
Hit the piano with his fist.
That was the way
He used to play.
 

LORD CLIVE

 
What I like about Clive
Is that he is no longer alive.
There is a great deal to be said
For being dead.
 

KING EDWARD THE CONFESSOR

 
Edward the Confessor
Slept under the dresser.
When that began to pall,
He slept in the hall.
 

THE REV. JOHN CLIFFORD M.A., LL.B., D.D

 
Dr Clifford
And I have differed.
He disapproves of gin:
I disapprove of sin.
 

MESSRS CHAPMAN & HALL

 
Chapman & Hall
Swore not at all.
Mr Chapman's yea was yea,
And Mr Hall's nay was nay.
 

KARL MARX

 
Karl Marx
Was completely wrapped up in his sharks.
The poor creatures seriously missed him
While he was attacking the capitalist system.
 

OTTO THE GREAT

 
The great Emperor Otto
Could not decide upon a motto.
His mind wavered between
"L'Etat C'est Moi" and "Ich Dien."
 

MARCONI

 
Guglielmo Marconi
Was brought up on macaroni,
But when he gets it now
There's no end of a row.
 

DAVID HUME

 
That you have all heard of Hume
I tacitly assume;
But you didn't know, perhaps,
That his parents were Lapps.
 

MR H. BELLOC

 
Mr Hilaire Belloc
Is a case for legislation ad hoc.
He seems to think nobody minds
His books being all of different kinds.
 

JOB

 
It is understood that Job
Never read "The Globe;"
But nothing could be higher than
His opinion of Leviathan.
 

PIZARRO

 
The views of Pizarro
Were perhaps a little narrow.
He killed the Caciques
Because (he said) they were sneaks.
 

THE DUKE OF FIFE K.T., P.C., G.C.V.O

 
It looked bad when the Duke of Fife
Left off using a knife;
But people began to talk
When he left off using a fork.
 

THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON

 
The great Duke of Wellington
Reduced himself to a skellington.
He reached seven stone two,
And then – Waterloo!
 

JOHN BUNYAN

 
I do not extenuate Bunyan's
Intemperate use of onions,
But if I knew a wicked ogress
I would lend her "The Pilgrim's Progress."
 

GEORGE HIRST

 
When I faced the bowling of Hirst
I ejaculated, "Do your worst!"
He said, "Right you are, Sid."
-And he did.
 

ERASMUS AND THE HUMANISTS

 
After dinner, Erasmus
Told Colet not to be "blas'mous"
Which Colet, with some heat,
Requested him to repeat.
 

BESANT AND RICE

 
Sir (then Mr) Walter Besant
Would never touch pheasant,
But Mr James Rice
Thought it so nice.