Akiva and Rachel. One of the greatest love stories of all time

Chapter 3 The hole in the rock

For love is strong as death. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.

(Shir a-Shirim (Song of Songs), 8:6—7)

Over the days that followed, Akiva did not see Rachel anywhere. After resting on the Shabbat, he returned to his duties as usual. He drove the sheep out of the fold sending them in the direction of the river. Once he had found his spot and was sitting on the bank of the river, he became deeply absorbed in thoughts of Rachel.

The more Akiva ran the memory of their last meeting in his mind, the more he relinquished the hope of ever seeing her again. Yet that day, quite unexpectedly, Rachel appeared in the meadow. Plucking up her courage, she said, “Peace to you, Akiva. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour the last time we met. I haven’t ever met anyone before who couldn’t read or write.”

Akiva smiled sadly, “People often laugh at me when they find out that I am illiterate. At first I found it hurtful, but I have got used to it now.”

“I promise I won’t ever laugh at you again,” Rachel said.

“Thank you.” Akiva was genuinely grateful for her words.

Akiva thought Rachel looked a little tired and so he suggested she sit down on a stone next to his. Rachel accepted his offer with pleasure and having spread her shawl out on the stone she sat down beside him.

“Are you comfortable there?” Akiva asked.

“Yes, thank you,” Rachel answered readily. “You told me your name the last time we met but I didn’t tell you mine. It was rude of me. My name is Rachel. I am Kalba Savua’s daughter.”

“I know,” said Akiva quietly. “You have a beautiful name. Who are you named after?”

“Our foremother Rachel.”

“Tell me about her,” said Akiva.

“Do you really not know who Rachel is?” Rachel asked surprised. “She was the wife of our forefather Jacob. I hope you know who Jacob is.”

Akiva shook his head.

“I’ll tell you then. Jacob was the son of our forefather Yitzchak and our foremother Rivka. Hiding from his brother’s rage, Jacob went to find Lavan, his mother’s brother. Lavan had two daughters, the older one Lea and the younger one, Rachel. Jacob fell in love with Rachel at first sight and to marry her, he agrees to serve as a shepherd in Lavan’s house for seven long years. For Jacob, the seven years passed as if they were seven days because his love for Rachel was so strong.”

“Seven years for the right to marry. How can that be possible?” Akiva asked in disbelief.

“Well, Jacob agreed to it and his love for Rachel was so strong that the years flew by.”

Rachel was quiet for a few moments collecting her thoughts before continuing.

“Listen to what happened next. When the seven years were up, Jacob went to see Lavan and asked for Rachel’s hand in marriage. Lavan agreed, chose the wedding day and invited many guests. Jacob didn’t trust him though and agreed with his bride to be that she would make a special sign to him before the ceremony began. When the wedding day arrived, Lavan tricked Jacob and swapped Rachel for Lea. Jacob only realised what had happened after the wedding when she removed Lea’s veil, by which time, it was too late. Later, he learned from Rachel, that to save her sister being humiliated before all their guests, Rachel told her sister about their secret sign.

Lavan said that Jacob could work another seven years in his house and then he could finally have Rachel as his wife. Jacob immediately agreed as he and Rachel truly loved one another. Later they had a first-born called Joseph. Sadly, Rachel died whilst giving birth to her second child Benjamin.”

“That’s a really sad story,” Akiva said thoughtfully. “It would be very rare today for someone to be capable of what Jacob did then. I would never give my beloved to another. If Rachel loved Jacob so strongly, how could she have let her sister have him?”

“Our foremother Rachel was a very compassionate woman. She loved Jacob but let her sister have him to save her from humiliation. She cried for days and nights at the thought of Jacob embracing another woman after seven years of waiting but she never regretted what she had done.

To this day, Jews come to pray at Rachel’s grave in Beth-Lehem¹⁷ at their most difficult times in the hope of evoking the mercy of the All-mighty. Our foremother Lea and our forefather Jacob are buried in Hebron¹⁸.

“Could you do what Rachel did?” Akiva asked, meeting Rachel’s eyes with a searching look.

“I don’t know, I have never been in love. I don’t think there are people like that anymore who are willing to give up everything for the sake of those they love.”

Rachel looked thoughtfully in the direction of the river, admiring its current.

“Sometimes I think that Rachel didn’t love Jacob enough, given what she did, and then at other times I am amazed at how strongly she must have loved him to let her competitor into her own home.”

“What was Jacob’s fate?” Akiva asked.

“The story of Jacob and his sons is very long. I’ll tell you about it sometime but it’s already getting dark and I must go. I could go one forever about our forefathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob” said Rachel with a soft smile.

“I know about forefather Abraham because Shimon talks about him a lot,” said Akiva.

“It’s good that you know about our forefather Abraham. He is the father of Isaac and the grandfather of Jacob.” Rachel was pleased. “He had a huge tent that stood at the centre of the desert. Abraham received travellers who passed his home and invited them into his tent. He gave them water so they could wash their feet, and then gave them food and drink. In Abraham’s day, people worshipped wooden statues and were steeped in paganism. Abraham was the first person who publicly spoke of the existence of the One God. Even in his early childhood, he understood that the world has a one Creator and that people must serve and worship the Creator alone.”

“You are so young and yet you know so much!” Akiva said unable to contain his admiration.

“My father says, that everyone should know the history of their people. It’s a pity that you know so little about the lives of our forefathers.”

“I have never had the time or opportunity to study,” said Akiva justifying himself. “I have spent my life in the meadow herding cattle or in the forest collecting dry wood and now it’s too late.”

“It’s never too late to learn,” said Rachel. “If I have time, I will come and see you and tell you about the history of our people. Today is the eve of the Shabbat and preparations in the house are already in full swing. I’d better hurry. I am supposed to be helping. We’ll be preparing food until late in the evening and tomorrow morning we’ll tidy the house and when the Shabbat begins I’ll go to the synagogue with my father.”

Akiva thanked Rachel who then grabbed her shawl and hurried towards the house. Akiva drove the sheep into the fold for the night. He would have to be up early the next morning with all the work that had to be done on the eve of Shabbat. Lying in his bed at night, Akiva thought about the stories Rachel had told him and barely had time to blink before the dawn light began seeping in through the window. Akiva got up, had something to eat and went off to work.

In the morning of the Shabbat, there were always lots of people on Kalba Savua’s estate. The vegetable traders always brought him the best vegetables and the fruit traders the best fruit and the fishermen brought him the freshest fish of their catch. Akiva had long become accustomed to the hustle and bustle of the Shabbat preparations and so paid no attention to the noise and activity. Having fed and watered the sheep, Akiva set off for Shimon’s house having informed Ezra that he was leaving the estate.

The fish cooked on the coals and fresh flat bread that were served at Mr. Shimon’s house were particularly delicious.

“Akiva, will you have another piece of fish?” Asked Shimon’s wife Dvora. “You work hard. You need to keep your strength up.”

“Have another piece,” said Shimon, joining in his wife’s encouragement.

“Thank you,” said Akiva, handing over his plate. “We eat very well at Kalba Savua’s and work on the estate isn’t really that hard. Mr. Shimon, can I ask you something? I would like to say a blessing after the meal also. Will you teach me?”

Shimon was delighted and said:

“That’s wonderful, yes, I’ll gladly help you. If you want to study the Scriptures I can introduce you to the yeshiva students in Jerusalem and they’ll teach you the main prayers and teach you the history of the Jewish people.”

“Won’t you teach me? I don’t want to have anything to do with the yeshiva students.”

“Why not?” Asked Shimon eating his fish.

“Because they look down on the likes of me. Their role is to study the Torah and to help people, right?”

“Yes, Akiva, that’s correct,” said Shimon.

“But that’s not how it is in reality. They think they are better than anyone else and have totally lost touch with the simple folk. They are only kind to rich people. They laugh at the likes of me and treat us with disdain.”

“You’ll meet very different kinds of student,” said Shimon. “People naturally talk and say all sorts of things about them. You need to get to know some of them in person.”

“Mr. Shimon, with respect, in my life I have met many yeshiva students and those I have seen behaved very badly. As soon as they find out that I am illiterate they laugh at me rather than offering to help. They mock me publicly when they see me selling brushwood at the market and rather than stepping in, the other students just stood there laughing. I was so ashamed. I blushed and wanted the ground to swallow me up. All I could do was keep my head down and carry on working. When I see them on the street now, I want to take revenge and bite them as hard as a donkey.”

Dvora was listening attentively to Akiva’s story. Shimon decided to soften the tone of the conversation with some humour.

“Akiva, why would you want to bite them if you dislike them so much, and if you must bite, why like a donkey and not a dog?”

“When a dog bites, it does not harm the bone but when a donkey bites, it breaks the bone with its teeth. Now do you understand how much I hate them?”

“Hate is a terrible thing,” said Shimon more seriously now. “It was because of hate between the Jews that the Second Temple was destroyed.”

“Ok, I agree that hate is a bad thing. But is mocking people a good thing? Is it really a good thing to humiliate people in front of others?”

Dvora shook her head silently, anguished by what she had heard. It wasn’t the first time she had heard stories about the bad behaviour of the yeshiva students but she had never thought it was really true or even quite so bad. She believed Akiva who had obviously spoken from his heart trying hard to fine the words to express his pain.

“Are they really allowed to treat simple people like me with such disdain? Do they really have a right to mock those who can’t read or write?”

“No, Akiva” said Shimon placing his hand on his guest’s shoulder in a fatherly fashion. “Of course, they don’t have any right to behave in that manner. They are supposed to help people, the rich and the poor, and to treat everyone with respect, irrespective of their wealth. It sounds to me as if you came across some very strange yeshiva students,” said Shimon after a brief pause.

“Lots of the yeshiva students are like that. If you don’t believe me you can ask other simple folk,” said Akiva, keen to express what he felt. “They might treat you and other respectable people differently but they treat the ordinary folk in whatever manner they like. They think they are above us but they don’t work or fight, or do anything useful. Unlike them, I have always earned my own living. They live on donations from people like Kalba Savua and instead of carrying out their duties all they can think about is how to increase their own wealth and surround themselves with luxury.”

Akiva was angry.

“I find their company and their views unpleasant. Perhaps if they had treated me differently, I might have found time to study but I became too disillusioned with religion and these academic types.”

“Akiva, trust me, the majority of them are decent people and what they are doing is very important. They are studying the Holy Scriptures,” said Shimon, trying to convince his guest but it wasn’t an easy task.

Akiva continued his rebuke. “They study the Holy Scriptures from childhood but what does it teach them, to insult, humiliate, lie and mock? I might be illiterate but I would never lie to anyone, say hurtful things, or just walk past someone who needed my help, whether they were rich or poor. Once, after a hard day, I managed to earn just one coin and I shared it with a poor, elderly man who was on the street because I know that I have a strong constitution and will survive if I miss supper for a day, but I wasn’t sure what would happen to the old man if he did not have anything to eat that day. I can’t remember how many times I have seen yeshiva students with full bags of food and their noses up in the air, walk past those in need without sharing so much as an apple with them.”

“Perhaps Akiva is right,” thought Shimon. “Maybe they do treat the ordinary folk badly. Perhaps they do behave differently towards me and other wealthy people but mock and sneer at those like Akiva. Now I can imagine just how much humiliation he must have suffered and thousands of others like him. He’s right. Who would want to go and study after suffering so much insult and humiliation?”

Akiva paid no attention to his troubled hosts and continued letting out his pain, “The yeshiva students are supposed to be setting an example to others of humility, modesty and mutual respect and not dividing people into rich and poor, literate and illiterate. That’s why I used to hate religious people, but after meeting you my life has totally changed. I have learned a lot and understand all sorts of things that I didn’t see before. I had never met people like you before, you, Kalba Savua and Dvora. You treat simple people with respect and try to help everyone no matter what their position. When you saw me on the street, you offered me a meal and a place to stay the night without expecting anything in return and it was then that I realised that things weren’t as bad as I had thought. There are still decent people in the world.”

Having calmed down a little and caught his breath, Akiva said, “Forgive me. All sorts of thoughts and feelings have built up inside and I have no-one to share them with.”

Shimon thought for a moment and said, “There are lots of people like us in Judea. The yeshiva students with whom I have spoken in Jerusalem and other cities say that they are always happy to take in guests. I am certain that many of those who follow the laws of the Torah and our forefather Abraham would have done exactly the same and offered you a bed for the night.”

Akiva countered his benefactor once again, “Saying it and doing it, are different things. I try to learn from everything I see and hear, and your hospitality has helped me understand that people have to set an example to others through their actions, not their words, and when the rich and the poor act from their conscience, then the people of Judea and will be properly strong and cohesive.”

After the meal Shimon gave a blessing and this time Akiva repeated the words after him. Once the Shabbat was over, Akiva returned to Kalba Savua’s house. He had long forgotten about the heated conversation about the yeshiva students. All his thoughts were now devoted to Rachel. Akiva’s story had made a deep impression on the elderly Shimon and his wife. They had discovered that their newfound friend, the illiterate shepherd was in fact a wise man, pure in heart and mind.

* * *

One day rolled into another and Akiva’s life became endlessly monotonous without the relief of seeing Rachel, but then on a wonderful spring day when Akiva was busy tending to the sheep and gazing over at the river, he heard the soft tones of a female voice:

“What are you thinking about Akiva?”

Akiva turned round and was met by a vision of Rachel looking as lovely as ever. Her long hair played and shone in the sunlight and her eyes…

Akiva hesitated. He looked at Rachel as if he was seeing her for the first time and found himself unable to speak a word.

“Akiva, what’s the matter? Have you forgotten how to talk again?” Rachel chirped, as cheerfully as a bird.

“No, I was just lost in my thoughts. I have been watching the water flowing in the river and contemplating life. I’ve been here since early this morning.” Akiva’s power of speech finally returned.

“I can watch the water for hours and a fire. It’s calming, isn’t it?” Rachel said, picking up the thread of the conversation.

“Last time I saw you, you rushed off to help prepare for the Shabbat. How did it all go?” Said Akiva, trying to control his nervousness.

“The Shabbat went really well. Everyone was very jovial! We had lots of guests, family and friends, as we always do. They only left yesterday evening, after the Shabbat. I helped the women clear up until midnight and then, after reading prayers in my room before bedtime, I fell asleep and slept really well.” Rachel whirled about, gracefully raising her arms, her laughter ringing out like a bell.

Akiva could not tear his eyes away from her.

“Rachel, you are still young. You must take care of yourself.”

Rachel stopped spinning, her breathing quick and deep. Akiva even thought he could feel her breath.

“When there are a lot of visitors, you do not think about yourself. You just think about finishing everything as quickly as possible and going to bed. Yesterday, I was so tired that today I slept in until midday. I remembered to read the prayers though and after breakfast, I decided to come out for a walk,” Rachel replied smiling good-naturedly.

“What prayers do you read in the morning and before you go to sleep?”

“Before going to sleep, I thank the merciful Creator for the day, for the fact that I have lived through it, and in the morning, for the fact that I have woken up, and then I read the morning blessings.”

Rachel’s response was a revelation for Akiva.

“Everyone wakes up in the morning. Do you really need to give thanks for that?”

“Yes Akiva, we must express gratitude and thanks to the Creator for everything He gives us. We are used to waking up in the morning, to the sun rising and setting, the day following night, to the trees bearing fruit, but we must understand, that it is all a miracle. Everything that happens in our world – the world itself exists only by the grace of the Creator.”

“What else is in the prayers?” Everything Rachel said was so new and curious to Akiva that she never ceased to surprise him.

“If you knew how to read, I would bring you a prayer book and other religious texts for you to study.”

“It’s too late for me to learn anything now and start studying religious books.” Akiva was quiet for a moment and then with a sudden bitter smile, he said, “Rachel, tell me, for what? What do I have to thank the Creator for, that at thirty years of age I still can’t read or write?”

Rachel was embarrassed and did not reply.

“You have everything going for you. You are young, beautiful, rich and clever. You have a lot to thank the creator for, but I who have nothing, not even a home, tell me, what would you have me thank the creator for?” Akiva had become increasingly angry.

“There is so much in this world that you can be thankful for. You have to learn to see the good in things. You can be grateful that you see this gorgeous sun, that you hear the sound of the river and the rustle of the leaves on the trees, that you can walk, for lots of things, that you have work, that you have a roof over your head, that you are caring, attentive and wise. See how much you have to be grateful for,” Rachel said tenderly, as if she were speaking to a child.

“You call me wise,” Akiva laughed, “but you barely know me.”

“You don’t have to have known a person for many years to understand whether they are wise or not. There are people who read a lot, who can talk on a variety of topics with a clever expression on their face, but even with the best will in the world, you could never call them wise. And then there are those who may even be illiterate, but you can spot their wisdom a long way off. Wisdom is a gift from the Creator. You either have it or you don’t. Akiva if you could study, you would make a good rabbi.”

“Rachel, soon I will be forty. School is for children who have been learning since they were little,” Akiva said but he had softened his tone no longer showing his anger. Rachel stuck to her own point of view.

“It is never too late to learn.”

The young girl threw a glance at the sun, which was already setting beyond the river. It was time for her to go.

“Will you come again tomorrow?” Akiva asked, his voice carrying simultaneously notes of hope and despair.

“I don’t know yet. Akiva, try and turn over a new leaf in your life, and think about what I said about learning. I am certain that much in your life still lies ahead of you. Try and pray before you go to sleep,” advised Rachel before hurrying away.

“But I don’t know any prayers!” Akiva cried after her.

“Just speak words of gratitude and say what’s in your heart.” Rachel’s sonorous, girlish voice reached him now from a distance.

After Rachel had left, Akiva sat by the river for a long time thinking over what she had said. He thought about his conversation with Rachel until he lay down to sleep. Having thanked the creator for the day, for the fact that he had a job and a roof over his head, Akiva fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

In the morning Akiva drove the herd down to the river again dreaming only of one thing: to see Rachel again. Over and over, he caught himself thinking that he could not live without seeing her again. Even the fear of losing his job no longer affected him.

Hearing someone’s footsteps from afar, Akiva turned to look and spotted the long-awaited silhouette. The young girl approached him and as she had done on the previous occasion, she said quietly:

“Peace to you Akiva.”

“Peace to you Rachel!” The shepherd answered her with bated breath.

“Did you say a prayer last night before going to sleep? Rachel asked.

“Yes, I did, but in the morning I forgot,” said Akiva and as if apologising held open his hands.

Rachel was pleased.

“That’s a good start. Learn to thank the merciful Creator for everything.”

“Why do you always repeat the word ‘merciful’? ” Asked Akiva.

“Because the Creator is merciful to all his creations.”

“Rachel, if He really is merciful, then why did He allow the Romans to destroy the Second Temple?” Akiva said, directing the complex question at the girl he loved.

“The Rabbis believe that the Romans are simply an instrument in His hands. It’s not the Romans who destroyed the Temple. We did that. Our actions brought about the destruction of the Temple. The Romans simply carried out the Creator’s judgement. The First Temple, the Temple of King Solomon,” said Rachel continuing her story “was demolished in punishment of three sins: bloodshed, idolatry and the retreat of the Jews from the laws given to them by God¹⁹. Now that there is neither idolatry nor bloodshed, the wisemen have come to the conclusion, that there were spiritual reasons for the destruction of the Temple. They tend to think that the Second Temple was destroyed due to unfounded hatred. The All-merciful probably doesn’t like how we treat one another. We have forgotten how to forgive.”

“How was that evident?” Akiva asked his voluntary teacher.

Rachel answered patiently. “It was everywhere and in everything. People overfilled the cup of His unlimited patience. Shortly before the Temple was destroyed, something happened. A wealthy man from Jerusalem held a feast and invited lots of guests including my father who was unable to attend because he was away. The man who arranged the feast had a close friend called Kamtsa and a sworn enemy, Bar Kamtsa (The story of Kamtsa and Bar Kamtsa is cited in the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Gittin). The man sent his servant to invite his friend Kamtsa to the feast but the messenger got the address wrong and conveyed the invitation to Bar Kamtsa. Bar Kamtsa couldn’t understand what was happening and asked the messenger again whether the invitation was really meant for him, to which the messenger confirmed that it was.

Deciding that his enemy must be offering a reconciliation, Bar Kamtsa suspected nothing, put on expensive clothes and went to the feast at the house of his enemy. He took his place amongst the guests but when the host saw him there, he shouted: “What are you doing here? How dare you come into my house uninvited?”

Bar Kamtsa realised that the messenger must have made a mistake and said, “I will pay you for my portion of food, only please, do not humiliate me in front of all the other guests. Many respected people of Jerusalem are among them. How will I appear in their eyes?”

The host refused to accept his request so Bar Kamtsa offered to pay for half the entire cost of the feast but the host still wouldn’t agree.

“I will pay for everything!” Bar Kamtsa cried, “Only please don’t throw me out in front of all these people!”

But the host refused even then and insisted that the unwanted guest leave his home. Enraged, Bar Kamtsa was forced to leave in disgrace.”

“And what about the guests: they just sat there saying nothing?” asked Akiva.

“Yes, there were many respected people and wisemen there but they chose not to get involved in the conflict. So then Bar Kamtsa decided to take revenge on the host and his guests who had refused to stand up for him. He went to see the Emperor and told him that the Jews were plotting a revolt against the Roman Empire. To prove it, he asked the ruler to send a calf to the Temple for sacrifice. On the way, Bar Kamtsa gave the calf a small injury, knowing that under the laws of the Torah, animals with that kind of blemish are unsuitable for sacrifice.

The rabbis argued for a long time over whether the calf could be used as a sacrifice or not. Many of them understood the significance of denying the Romans permission to make sacrifice and nonetheless, they turned the Roman Emperor down. The emperor was furious and sent his army into Judea. The Roman troops invaded Jerusalem, burned the Temple to the ground and sacked the city.”

“It’s hard to say who was right and who was wrong,” thought Akiva. “The wealthy man who held a feast and treated his guest badly, or the wisemen, who witnessed the argument but said nothing, or Bar Kamtsa, who brought anger to his entire people on account of a personal insult.”

“Yes, it’s a difficult one. But there is also an indirect cause for what happened. It clearly reflects the attitude people had towards one another that reigned in Jerusalem at the time. Now we are left with no Temple. The Romans have taken many of Jerusalem’s inhabitants prisoner. My father is very worried about the future of our city and our people. He argues that without a strong leader, the Jews will never be taken seriously and the Romans will enslave us” said Rachel.

“Surely there isn’t such a great lack of wise rabbis that none among them could stand out as a leader?” said Akiva doubtfully.

“It’s hard to unify the people. A large proportion of the rabbis represent leaders to a small handful of students but are vindicated in the eyes of others and so there’s no single, powerful force. You know Akiva, there’s something I have been thinking about a lot ever since I met you. I don’t know why but I have this feeling inside, that if you were literate, you could be a strong leader. You could unify everyone!” Rachel admitted.

“Rachel, what on earth are you saying? If those who are so highly respected cannot unite the people, what could I possibly do, a simple shepherd?” Rachel’s words had come like a bolt from the blue.

“Most of them are more concerned with themselves than with the needs of the community. Akiva, I see how you care for the sheep. You have a good heart and I think you could turn out to be a great leader, capable of uniting a lot of people around you. Why don’t you want to learn to read and write and study the Torah?” said Rachel trying to persuade him.

“You forget, I am thirty-five years old. It’s too late for me to start studying at my age” Akiva said disagreeing with her.

“But it isn’t too late,” said Rachel, “if you studied hard and conscientiously then the words of the Torah would speak to your heart.”

“Rachel, I don’t have the money to give up work and study. Thank you for your warm words. No-one has ever spoken of me so highly” said Akiva, not without some sadness.

“I have to go now Akiva, but mark my words, it’s never too late to start learning. The wisemen say that we must keep learning forever, right up until old age.”

Long after they had parted Akiva continued to mull over Rachel’s words and everything she had said about him.

Every day, Rachel came to the river and they she and Akiva talked for hours becoming close friends. Akiva had never been so happy as he was spending time with Rachel, talking to the sweetest, most wonderful girl in the world.

Akiva intended to spend the forthcoming Shabbat in the home of the old man Shimon and his wife.

In Shimon’s house the jangling sound of crockery could be heard as Shimon’s wife Dvora cleared the table after the Shabbat meal. Concerned by his guest’s silence, Shimon asked, “Why are you so quiet today Akiva, has something happened?”

Akiva said nothing.

“My eyes do not deceive me. Tell me what has happened.”

“All right, I will tell you, only please listen to me, and don’t be angry. Recently, Rachel and I have become very close. We see each other almost every day and we talk for ages. What do you think? Is there even a grain of hope that I could be the husband of Rachel, daughter of Kalba Savua?”

“You didn’t take my advice after all. You didn’t keep your distance” said Shimon sadly. “Akiva, as your elder, please, forget about her before it is too late. It’s for the best, for you and for her. Find another woman who is worthy of you and have a family. Why torment yourself and the young girl? You may be mistaken and have misinterpreted your conversations as an expression of some special attention on her part.”