Read the book: «111 Life Lessons from my wonderful Grandma»

© Celestina Li, 2025

ISBN 978-5-0068-1479-0

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Introduction

Today I decided that my wonderful grandmother’s advice must be shared with the world – for it is a true treasure chest of life’s wisdom!

Grandma is living her best life: for nearly three quarters of a century she has walked side by side with the man she loves. She has four close-knit children, nine grandchildren, and already seven great-grandchildren. We adore gathering for holidays and spending time together – usually at our grandparents’ house.

But Grandma hasn’t only raised children. She worked, built businesses, and traveled the world. Just a couple of years ago she and Grandpa went on a cruise through the Mediterranean, and last year they flew to Italy to hear Tosca at La Scala – simply because they wanted to hear an Italian opera live. Needless to say, that trip inspired them to tour Europe, and they didn’t come back home for an entire month!

My grandmother is not the type who gets up at five to milk a cow or insists that everyone plant potatoes every spring. Nor is she the type to complain about poor eyesight or gossip about neighbors. If there is anyone in this world who truly knows how to love themselves, others, and life itself – it is her!

In short, she is my compass in life. And I thought that anyone would be interested to hear what such an extraordinary woman thinks and says about life. So I’ve tried to gather as many of her insights as I could, on the widest range of life’s themes.

Advice 1

Never betray yourself. If you feel a pull to apply to the conservatory but instead choose accounting because it seems safer and more rational, you are breaking the greatest law of life: the law of free will – your own free will. Your mind might force you to settle, but your soul will never forgive you. And one day, when it’s truly too late, that wound will ache far more than any physical illness ever could.

Advice 2

Never believe anything or anyone 100%. Not because people always lie, but because every one of us is living this life for the first time, and anyone can be mistaken about anything. I only realized at forty that all the knowledge I had was a stew made of things I’d heard from other people. And not a single one of those things was an ultimate truth.

Whenever you hear something, ask yourself: «Do I like this information? Am I sure I want to take it as truth? Will it help me in life?» If not – leave room for doubt. Especially when you hear statements in absolute terms: «Everyone, nobody, never, always.»

We often believe «authoritative» sources: books, documentaries, news. But even those are created by ordinary people like you and me, and they, too, may carry errors and biases. After all, people once believed the earth was flat, and Columbus was convinced he had reached the shores of India…

Advice 3

Never allow yourself to be a victim! Remember: living as a victim – no matter what the situation – is a choice, an unconditional surrender. «They hurt me,» «I can’t do it,» «I can’t find a good job» – these are all chains of choices.

If you truly lack the strength and confidence to move forward, then give yourself a single day to cry, to suffer – but then get back up and keep going. Nothing good ever comes out of victimhood. And you don’t want to live a bleak, empty life where most of your energy is spent on complaints and self-pity, do you?

Advice 4

Never take offense at other people’s words. Those who speak hurtful things are themselves lacking love and are deeply suffering. That doesn’t mean you must put on the savior’s mask and rescue every unhappy soul. But remember: every word someone utters speaks about them, not about you.

As Kipling said: «If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same.» Be indifferent to the words of others – they are only sound.

Advice 5

At the same time, never allow anyone to truly wound you. If your partner or a friend ever says something that shatters your heart into pieces – leave, without looking back. In all the years with your grandfather, our relationship had its ups and downs, and it took time to grow. But never once did either of us say something cruel enough to break the other. That would have been the beginning of the end.

Advice 6

Never wound others yourself. Yes, you may know that words reflect the speaker, not the listener – but others can be scarred for life by careless words. Watch what comes out of your mouth. And never gossip behind someone’s back. Everything you bring into the world should carry light.

If you can’t shine, then at least write down your frustrations and anger on paper – and burn it. Your heart will feel lighter, and your conscience will rejoice that you didn’t release that inner trash onto other people.

Advice 7

Fill your heart with love. My life became more beautiful and amazing when I discovered this secret. Once I learned to warm my heart with unconditional, soft love, misfortunes began to bypass me. I’ve been practicing this for over half a century – and it never fails.

Learn not to judge or condemn, but to look at people as God would. That is a powerful skill.

Advice 8

Don’t waste your resources on negativity. If something or someone irritates you – quietly walk away. By any means, at any cost – but leave. No one should ever matter more in your life than you do. Yes, I say this confidently even as a wife and mother of four! Without this rule, I doubt I would have such a beautiful family.

Advice 9

Trust your intuition. Sometimes things don’t work out simply because they are not meant for you. And sometimes, you just need to try another path, look for a different way forward. I’ve noticed in my life that the things that didn’t happen were usually the ones that would have turned out worse than I truly wished for. For example, we never managed to go to our local opera house – either we didn’t get the tickets in time, or someone caught a cold, or friends invited us to something else on the very same night… Yet when it came to Italy, everything fell perfectly into place! Your grandfather and I decided that we just weren’t meant to hear Tosca on that level – our hearts were calling for La Scala.

And there was another story. Some forty years ago, I longed to open a bakery. But everything seemed against me: one problem with the premises, another with the sanitary rules. I ran around endlessly, and at one point I almost gave up, when yet another obstacle appeared. That day, I went to sit by the river and listened quietly to myself: Is this truly mine, or not? And then I understood – yes, I will open this bakery, because I truly want it with all my heart! From that very moment, everything started resolving itself with ease, as if the nuts were cracking open by themselves. And now, you know, that bakery not only supports our family, but people love our bread and pastries.