The Mills & Boon Sparkling Christmas Collection

Chapter Seven

Eva pulled off her rubber gloves and stretched out her back. Finally, she had removed all the wallpaper. She had spent the past two days in a cloud of steam, stripping off layers of wallpaper that had been up so long it had flaked away in little pieces and fallen at her feet in a sticky mess. But now at last it was all off and the room looked much bigger and brighter.

She glugged a mouthful of water from her bottle and then, after a short break, set about lifting the carpet. Donning her heavy work gloves she used her knife and started to cut the carpet into manageable strips before rolling them up. Who needed the gym she thought hurling bits of carpet into a corner of the room. Eva was pleasantly surprised to discover the wooden floorboards were in good condition. It wouldn’t take too much effort to restore them to their original glory – some sanding and varnish and they would look lovely.

Much later, covered in sweat and with aching muscles, Eva surveyed the room. Apart from a bit of plastering where the leak had caused damage, the room was ready for decorating. She had created a blank canvas to work with and, most importantly, it no longer felt like the MacKenzies’ room. It felt a little sad, as though Eva was stripping away their memories, but she knew they’d had a happy life here and now it was someone else’s turn. Would that person be Ben? she pondered.

Knowing she was working in Ben’s house – doing it all for him – felt personal, made her feel connected to him, but as she gazed around the room now, it dawned on Eva she had no real plan what to do next. Usually her mind was brimming with ideas and colour schemes. She’d always found it easy decorating her own home but with a sinking feeling realized all her creative thoughts seem to have floated off somewhere else.

As if looking for inspiration she wandered into the hall where boxes remained unopened, a clear sign that Ben hadn’t made up his mind about staying, and Eva felt her heart drop. Feeling horribly nosy but unable to stop herself, she walked through to the kitchen. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for but wanted to see if she could get more of a feel for Ben’s life that might give her clues for decorating.

As in her own house the kitchen was a large, bright space but there was nothing to suggest Ben was cooking or even spending much time here. Some fruit – not too fresh-looking – and an opened packet of biscuits lay on the worktop and several dirty mugs competed for space with a stack of books on the table. In one way she supposed it was typical for a man living on his own but there was also something sad – an emptiness – like seeing a life on hold.

She couldn’t see any personal touches or anything to show he intended to stay and certainly no hints of his personality that might help with her decorating. She thought about what she did know about him. She knew he had experienced loss and that his relationship had ended. She had detected a serious, studious side to him but also a very human side. She had observed how good he was with her son.

Watching him and Jamie walking home the other night and chatting so naturally she had felt her heart do a little dance in her chest. Jamie responding so positively to Ben was lovely but she hoped she wasn’t making a mistake allowing her son to form a bond with him. She had missed the MacKenzies dreadfully at the beginning but the truth was she was beginning to get used to Ben as her new neighbour.

Thinking about him now Eva felt the stirrings of something. She couldn’t identify the exact feeling – part fear, part exhilaration. She was beginning to realize how much it mattered to her that Ben liked what she created. Whatever her motives had been when she first offered to do the job, it was beginning to feel about much more than paint and wallpaper, almost as if she was investing part of herself into the project. The sudden knowledge that she didn’t want him to leave struck her with her a force that left her feeling bewildered and she bolted out of the kitchen as if she’d been caught trespassing.

With forced concentration she focused on tidying up: folding up the stepladders, packing away her tools, and tucking all thoughts of Ben neatly to the back of her mind. It had been a long day and her early start was finally catching up with her. This morning she had told Jamie he could go on the trip. Remembering the expression on his face made her smile. Breaking his own no-hugging rule, he had voluntarily wrapped his arms around her.

‘Thanks, Mum! I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ she had replied, holding him tightly.

***

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee met Eva as she walked into The Coffee Hut on Saturday morning. Heather was already settled at their usual table and waved over to her. Eva shrugged off her jacket and flopped down beside her, grateful for the seat.

It had been a bit of a disastrous Saturday morning with the discovery that Hamish had chewed one of Jamie’s new football boots. When they had finally hunted down his old pair, it was only to find they had no laces and somehow it was all Eva’s fault. Heather nodded in sympathy as Eva recounted the morning’s events.

‘I don’t know how you did it three times. I can hardly manage with one.’ Eva shook her head in dismay. ‘Please tell me it gets easier.’

Heather let out a little puff of air. ‘I wish. They seem to go from happy to snappy in the blink of an eye, don’t they?’

‘Jamie refused to take any responsibility whatsoever. No matter what I said, all I got were eye-rolls and smart comebacks,’ Eva said indignantly.

‘Ah yes, I know it well. Arguing with kids is a losing battle believe me, I have the scars to prove it.’

‘The days of playdough and jigsaws seem a lot simpler now,’ Eva sighed despondently. This morning Jamie had seemed to resent her very being, making her feel like the most annoying human on the planet. Heather tried to reassure Eva and make her feel better.

‘This is an awkward age; they’re just figuring out who they are. There’s a lot more outside influences now. But don’t worry, it’s all perfectly normal.’

‘I certainly hope so,’ Eva muttered. ‘I wasn’t even sure football would be on with all this rain.’

‘There was a pitch inspection earlier and the referee decided to go ahead. They’re lucky to get their game though; the forecast isn’t looking good.’

‘You see, that’s why I love you. You know everything.’ Eva grinned at her friend.

‘Only the stuff that matters to mothers who have a vested interest in having their sons run around for ninety minutes.’

Eva chuckled. ‘That’s true. Jamie’s definitely a happier boy after a game of football even if the weather is terrible.’

‘Playing football in Scotland’s not for the faint-hearted that’s for sure.’ Heather put her mug down, raising her eyebrows at Eva. ‘So?’

‘So?’ repeated Eva innocently.

‘Who was he?’

Eva rolled her eyes. She hadn’t seen Heather since the morning she’d driven past her standing with Ben and had known she’d never escape the inevitable inquisition.

‘My new neighbour, Ben Matthews. He’s working at the university, a physics lecturer.’

‘Really?’ Heather contemplated this information for a moment before taking a bite of a warm croissant. ‘Bit rugged for a physics lecturer, isn’t he?’

‘Um, he does seem quite well built I suppose,’ Eva said lightly. Heather put her cup down with a clatter, sudden comprehension dawning on her features.

‘Ah, so he’s the new hottie Professor!’

‘He’s the what?’ Eva chortled.

‘I heard Adam mention it. You know how he’s studying engineering at the university – well, his friend Amber is doing chemistry and she told him apparently a new Professor in the science faculty has caused quite a stir among the females. Bet his classes are popular then!’ Heather sat back, looking quite pleased with this turn of events. ‘What’s he like?’ she asked Eva, her voice full of interest.

‘Well, he wasn’t the easiest person to talk to, at least not at the beginning. But I’ve got to know him a bit better and when he came round for pizza –’

‘He came round for pizza?’ Heather exclaimed.

‘Don’t get excited. I was just being neighbourly.’

‘So what did you find out about him then?’

‘Um, he’s from London. He seems kind of quiet and recently split with his partner.’

Heather’s eyes lit up. ‘He’s got a broken heart? That’s even better.’

‘How do you work that out?’

‘You can console him of course.’

Despite herself Eva laughed, shaking her head. ‘How many times have I told you – I’m not on the lookout for a man. I’m happy the way things are.’ Eva had said the same thing to Heather countless times. She had Jamie and her business and that was enough; she didn’t need anything else. There were times she looked at her friends or other mums in the playground and envied their lives full of children, and husbands or partners. But that wasn’t the way her life had unfolded and there was no point in wishing for something that wasn’t going to happen.

‘Anyway, I’m not going to console him – at least not the way you’d like. But I am going to decorate his living room!’

‘Oh wow, that’s great –’

‘What’s great?’ Freya had bustled over carrying a tray laden with coffee cups and cakes. ‘Jack’s taking over for a bit so I can come for a natter.’ Freya cosied up on the sofa as she often did on a Saturday morning when Heather and Eva came in.

‘Thanks,’ Eva said, taking a mouthful of lemon drizzle cake and rolling her eyes to the heavens. ‘Delicious.’

Heather happily filled Freya in. ‘Eva’s going to be decorating her new neighbour’s front room who just happens to be a hunky physicist.’

‘Is that the guy you had coffee with in here the other day?’ Freya asked innocently.

‘You had coffee with him as well?’ Heather’s eyes almost popped out of her head.

‘He was very handsome – had that whole smouldering thing going on.’ Freya made a dreamy face at Heather.

‘Some people might think he’s handsome,’ Eva said primly.

‘And you don’t?’

‘Technically he is, yes … I suppose …’ Eva lifted her coffee to hide her blush although she didn’t mind her friends’ gentle teasing. Being married and having Jamie so young she always felt she’d missed out on a chunk of growing up. She had gone from what was essentially her first big romance to becoming a wife, mother, and then widow. Men were just something that happened to other women – boyfriends, husbands, partners – they simply hadn’t been on her radar.

‘So you’re decorating his house?’ Freya broke into her musings.

‘I offered to decorate his front room. He had a leak in his living room –’ Eva ignored Heather snorting into her coffee ‘– which I helped him with, so it left some damage. We got talking and I found myself offering to decorate the whole room,’ Eva finished matter-of-factly.

‘You are pretty handy with a paintbrush – I can vouch for that.’ Heather’s head bobbed up and down.

‘So how’s it going then?’ Freya wanted to know.

‘That’s the thing. For some reason I’m struggling with ideas, almost like I’ve got a mental block.’

‘You’re usually so good with decorating.’

‘I know,’ Eva sighed. ‘I’ve haven’t used one before, but I was thinking of creating a mood board.’

Heather’s eyebrows shot up suggestively. ‘A what board?’

‘It’s an arrangement of colours, material scraps, images – anything to help give ideas,’ Freya explained before turning to Eva. ‘You’ve never had trouble before. Do you think you might be trying a bit too hard?’

Eva felt her shoulders slump. ‘Could be a possibility,’ she admitted.

‘Hold on, I might have something to help you.’ Freya bustled away. Eva and Heather exchanged mystified glances while finishing their coffee. A few moments later Freya reappeared with a small canvas.

‘Before I start painting a seascape I work on a small canvas first. It helps to give me an idea of colour and composition.’

Eva studied the canvas, which she realized was basically layers of colours representing a view of the beach. The sky was painted light blue while the hills in the distance were shown with strokes of white. The rocks in the foreground were brown and the water turquoise. Light grey depicted the small peaks of foam in the water and finally there was a sweep of golden beige for the sand.

‘I adore the colours in this; it’s really lovely,’ Eva said appreciatively.

‘Do you think it might help you at all?’ Freya asked.

‘You know, I think it just might,’ Eva replied thoughtfully. Even though it was quite abstract, the layers of colours captured the essence of the sea, sand, and sky and Eva could already feel it igniting ideas, imagining Ben’s brown leather sofas set against very pale grey walls.

Heather nudged Eva, reminding her it was time to go and watch the last part of the football game. Neither of them was overly keen at the prospect of leaving the warmth of the coffee shop for the cold sidelines of the pitch but duty called. Full of cake and clutching Freya’s canvas, Eva pulled on her jacket, feeling much happier.

Chapter Eight

The following Tuesday Eva let herself into Ben’s house. She had arranged for the plasterer to come and fix the ceiling where the leak had been and finally she felt as if her creative juices were flowing again. Freya’s canvas was propped up on the mantelpiece and Eva now had a clear picture in her head of how the room would look. She was determined to detach any feeling she may have for Ben and do a professional job.

Eva hummed to herself, feeling a light-heartedness she hadn’t felt for a long time. The morning was bright and light filtered into the room. The walls were dotted here and there with small patches of paint where Eva was testing an assortment of paint samples. She was leaving them to dry so she could see how they would look at different times of the day.

Having decided to restore them to their former glory, today Eva was going to tackle the floorboards and she’d hired a floor sander, which stood in the corner ready to go. Wearing her usual dungarees, she tied her hair in a ponytail in readiness to start work. On her hands and knees, she was using a pair of pliers to pull out some leftover carpet staples still intact in the floor when a sound made her freeze. She listened to a movement coming from upstairs and realized someone was there. Her heart rate rocketed as she heard footsteps making their way down the stairs.

From her position on all fours she saw his feet first. Eva slowly raised her head to find Ben looking at her from the doorway. He was smiling at her, his eyes soft and amused.

‘You all right there?’

Eva rocked back on her heels, her hand on her chest. ‘God, you gave me a fright – I didn’t realize you were in the house.’

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.’ He strolled over to Eva, holding out his hand to help her up. She took his hand, feeling his warm, strong fingers wrapped around her own, and knew there was little chance of her heart rate recovering. Visibly fresh from a shower, his hair was still damp and he wore a snug-fitting white T-shirt and blue joggers. He was close enough for her to breathe in the citrus fragrance of his aftershave and she blinked hard, trying to dispel the image of him in a hot shower.

‘I’m going to a seminar at Glasgow University later so I’m working from home this morning,’ he explained – not sounding overly keen. Instead he seemed more interested in looking round the room. ‘So, how are you getting on in here?’

‘As you can see I’ve lifted the carpet and all the wallpaper is off – I think I lost count after four layers of wallpaper. The plasterer is coming to do the ceiling later; in fact he’ll be here soon.’

‘Plastering not one of your many skills?’ he teased.

She smiled back. ‘Not brave enough to try. It’s quite a difficult skill to master and I’d be scared to make a mess of it,’ she admitted looking up at the ceiling with her hands on her hips. Ben strolled over to her, his closeness not exactly helping her attempts to be detached and professional.

‘I pretty much know what I’m going to do now but actually now that you’re here, I was wondering if you had any ornaments or pictures that you wanted me to use in the room?’

‘Um, I don’t think so.’ Ben rubbed the back of his head. ‘There might be something through here.’ Eva followed him into the hall where he looked at the pile of boxes before he appeared to gather the energy to start shifting them about. Eva watched the muscles of his arms flexing as he lifted a particular box and placed it in front of her, looking at her with a half-smile.

‘I don’t really have many er, ornaments but you might find something in here. I packed a few bits and pieces.’

‘You don’t mind if I look through this?’

‘Not at all but I don’t think you’ll find anything. I really didn’t have much to bring.’

Eva tried and failed to picture the life he had left behind. Her own house was full of small mementos, ornaments, and keepsakes that she liked to see every day.

‘I’m just about to make a coffee. Would you like one?’ He nodded towards the kitchen.

‘Sure, thanks.’

While Ben set about making their drinks Eva ambled through to the dining room, which Ben was clearly using as a makeshift office. The table was covered in papers and books. She glanced at the sheets of paper filled with calculations and indecipherable scrawls. She picked up a paper lying on top, her eyes drawn to the heading – Causal Probabilities in Quantum Field Theory. Wow. Not only did Eva find it impressive and intimidating that Ben understood that; she also found something slightly intoxicating about it.

Ben appeared at her side and handed her a mug. ‘That’s the seminar this afternoon,’ he said casually nodding to the paper.

Eva tried to think of an intelligent question but failed miserably. ‘Causal probabilities … so what’s that exactly?’

‘The question of causality asks whether or not your theory respects the laws of special relativity – the laws of space and time. If your theory isn’t causal then you could have all sorts of weird things happening, one event affecting another before light has had the chance to propagate between them … In the movies it’s called time travel.’ He glanced at her and smiled lopsidedly. ‘Sorry. I can get a bit carried away.’

Eva shook her head, putting the paper back down. ‘That’s all right, I’m afraid it’s just not something I can easily get my head around. But it does make me feel slightly inadequate.’

‘Are you kidding? You should never feel inadequate,’ he said forcefully. ‘You run your own business, bring up your son. And look at all your practical skills – you know about heating systems, plumbing, decorating – I reckon that’s pretty impressive.’

She regarded him over the rim of her mug. ‘You don’t look like a scientist, or at least how I imagine one to look.’

‘And how would that be?’ He returned her gaze, his eyes glittering.

‘I don’t know. A cloud of mad white hair, a crumpled lab coat, glasses.’

‘I can wear glasses if you like.’ The look he gave her sent a flash of heat up and down the length of her body and she struggled to make her voice sound normal.

‘So um, how did you get into physics?’

‘I suppose it was my dad really. He used to take me to the natural history museum in London when I was very young. One time there was this exhibition about the moon landing and I just remember something inside me come alive, you know. Something really caught my imagination. And I was lucky I had a good physics teacher at school who really encouraged me.’

Eva remembered how patient Ben had been with Jamie with his maths homework and thought he must be a good teacher. It must be nerve-racking to stand up in front of a classroom of students but presumably he was used to it.

‘So where did you teach before St Andrews?’

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead he moved to the table and Eva saw his shoulders tensing as he gathered papers. ‘I haven’t taught for the past five years. I’ve been working in the city as a financial analyst.’

Eva frowned, not understanding. ‘Do you mean you were a banker?’

He nodded. Like everyone, Eva had heard the stories about big money and city trading. Weren’t they ruthless and greedy? She’d registered his expensive car in the driveway, and the quality of his few pieces of furniture was unmistakable but apart from that there had been nothing showy or ostentatious about him that she could see. Eva had simply assumed he had always been a physics teacher.

‘So, why did you get into banking?’

‘The same reason anyone does. Money,’ he replied dryly.

Eva closed her eyes briefly, memories of her father flitting into her mind. He’d always looked so worn out, working such long hours and for what? They were able to live in a lovely house, have holidays, and buy nice things. But Eva was convinced it was the relentless pressures of work that caused his heart attack, and she would have traded any of the material things for him to still be alive. Affording nice things in life was fine but not at any cost. Eva tried to live by and instil in Jamie a sense of values not based on money.

Up until now, she’d thought of Ben as a scientist, a teacher. She liked that he was clever, could apply his mind to higher matters and let’s face it, she found his intelligence incredibly sexy. Knowing he’d been a city trader surprised her and not in a good way.

‘So um, what exactly did you do?’

‘I worked for an investment bank,’ he sighed.

‘What did that involve?’

He gave a wry smile, before answering. ‘On a good day working fourteen hours … on a bad day, longer.’

‘And you enjoyed that?’ Eva didn’t intend her tone to sound so harsh and judgemental but it was too late; the mood had shifted and she saw Ben’s expression change. He looked at her, a nerve twitching in his jaw, and she felt herself flinch under his gaze. Eva didn’t know whether to be thankful or not when she heard loud rapping at the front door.

‘Oh, that’ll be Gary. I’ll get it’

‘Fine. I should go and get ready,’ he said, turning to go.

‘Of course, sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you up.’

Eva opened the door to find Gary on the doorstep looking his usual cheery self.

‘Hi, Eva.’

Wearing overalls and carrying the tools of his trade, Gary was one of Jamie’s football coaches at the weekend but a plasterer by trade. He had been recommended to Eva when she’d first moved into her house. They chatted for a few minutes as Gary set himself up and started to mix the plaster. Eva watched as he handled the plaster using his trowel and hawk. He worked rhythmically and quickly, making it look easy as he used broad strokes to cover the surface of the ceiling.

Eva suddenly felt miserable, not sure what had passed between her and Ben just now but certain she had antagonized him in some way. She shouldn’t have shown her distaste for his job in the city. Who was she to pass judgement – it had nothing to do with her. But she couldn’t deny it, discovering he had worked in the city she felt a stab of disappointment. She gave herself a shake and picked up the bucket to fill with hot water from the kitchen so she could start to give the floor a clean.

As she passed through the hall, the doorbell rang and with Ben upstairs, Eva decided to answer it. She swung the door open to a young woman. Slim, heavily made-up, and with the shiniest hair she’d ever seen. Eva’s eyes darted to her bright red nails wrapped around a bottle of champagne. Clearly not expecting Eva to answer the door, her posed smile fell for a second before she recovered.

‘Hi, I’m here for Ben?’

‘He’s –’ Eva started to speak but the woman didn’t wait; instead she barged in past Eva just as Ben appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He had changed into navy trousers and a white shirt and looked so painfully handsome Eva wanted to cry. He glanced uneasily at Eva and then at his guest. Eva felt herself shrink. Never before had she felt self-conscious in her dungarees. They were comfortable; they were practical. But she looked like a workman she thought miserably. She hadn’t even washed her hair today.

‘Hello, Kat. You’re early.’ Ben’s tone was cool and Eva bit her lip, sensing their earlier conversation must have really irritated him.

‘Hi, Ben. I thought you might want to show me round your new house before we go. You didn’t tell me it was so big!’ She looked around and turned to Eva and briefly looked her up and down. ‘And you have decorators in – how lovely.’

Ben looked awkwardly over at Eva. ‘Actually, this is –’ He started to speak but his visitor gave him no chance to finish and instead put a proprietary hand on his arm.

‘A little housewarming.’ She waved the bottle and turned to Eva giving her a condescending smile. ‘Would you mind putting this in the fridge?’

‘I can take it –’ Ben reached out to take it but Eva was too quick.

‘Of course,’ she said through gritted teeth. She marched into the kitchen, yanked open the fridge, and shoved the bottle on the bottom shelf as she heard the woman’s voice drift through from the hall.

‘Did you have a chance to read over the notes I sent you? I highlighted the parts I thought you might want to discuss, in particular the argument that quantum mechanics in not locally causal …’

Eva loitered at the kitchen sink, making a pretence of washing her hands. So she was one of Ben’s colleagues. And not just one with shiny hair but one with a brain to match Ben’s.

‘We’d better get going. The traffic might be heavy.’ Eva heard Ben, his voice sounding terse as she dried her hands. The front door closed and unable to help herself, Eva scurried through to the living room to sneak a look out of the window just in time to see a red sports car pull away. Eva felt herself slump. Ben hadn’t even come to say goodbye, clearly eager to be off.

What had just happened? Everything seemed to be going well and then they’d had that strange conversation about his work and now he had zoomed off with his colleague. Eva was beginning to think of Ben as a friend, someone she could talk to. She wondered if she’d been forcing herself on him in some way. Her hand flew to her mouth with a sickly realization that it had all been her – her asking him for coffee, to share pizza … even offering to decorate his house. Was he just being polite all this time? She thought they were becoming friends, even imagining a chemistry between them but seeing him with his colleague she knew they belonged in different worlds.

She cringed thinking she’d actually asked him what the conference was about. Eva pictured them discussing quantum theory or whatever the hell it was before it became so heated they jumped into bed together for a night of physics-fuelled passion. Eva was more likely to be the person who came to change the sheets in the morning. With a heavy heart she turned from the window, the thought of them together making her feel quite nauseous. She gave herself a little shake when Gary spoke to her.

‘All right, Eva? That’s me about finished.’ Gary smiled, oblivious to her turmoil. Eva squared her shoulders and returned his smile.

‘Thanks, Gary. How about a cup of tea?’ she asked. Gary grinned his approval and Eva went to fill the kettle.

***

Rattled by his conversation with Eva, Ben stared despondently out of the car window as Kat drove them to Glasgow. Kat was chatting, something about an amazing hotel she’d stayed at in Milan last year, but Ben wasn’t really listening. He was thinking of Eva’s reaction when he’d told her he worked in the city. It was like seeing a reflection of his own distaste for what he had done. Hearing the hint of scorn in her voice and seeing the dismay in her face bothered him.

He remembered his first big bonus; it was crazy. He had stared at his bank balance, hardly believing the amount of zeros. Every day he had worked in the city was a day his mother received the best care but that didn’t stop him questioning his decision every day and it didn’t stop him feeling guilty.

Ben rolled down the window in the car slightly to let in some air. The strong scent of Kat’s perfume and the way she kept turning her head to speak to him was making him feel claustrophobic. He wasn’t oblivious to the obvious charms his colleague was now displaying. She wasn’t exactly subtle about it. They just didn’t nothing for him; in fact they left him cold. He cast her a sideways glance, realizing something about her reminded him of Samantha. The type of woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it.

Ben had never had trouble attracting women and although he wasn’t a saint, he’d never felt the need to chase after women the way some of his friends had done when they were younger. He’d had relationships but nothing that had lasted or been serious. Studying, working, and caring for his mother had been his priorities and somewhere along the line between losing his father and then his mother to her illness, he supposed he had instinctively put up defences as a means of self-preservation.

He had met Samantha in the club he frequented some evenings after work, people from different offices often blending into one crowd as the night wore on including his colleagues and the group Samantha was with. Ben had noticed her – she always looked good and dressed impeccably – and occasionally they acknowledged each other with a nod or a smile.

One evening she had dropped her purse, Ben picked it up for her, and they had started talking, ordering more drinks. He wasn’t sure who asked who but they had arranged to meet for brunch and a walk on Hampstead Heath the next day. They had talked easily, Ben liking that she was direct and undemanding, and they started to see each other regularly or at least as often as their schedules allowed.