Read the book: «The psychology of small steps»

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ISBN 978-5-0068-0012-0

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ALEXEY GOLDMAN
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SMALL STEPS

Chapter 1: Why We Burn Out Chasing Big Goals

Core Idea: We often fail to achieve big goals not because we’re lazy or unmotivated, but because our approach to them leads to exhaustion. This chapter will help you understand the difference between healthy productivity and the toxic kind that drains you completely.

You will learn to recognize the signs of an approach that leads to burnout and understand why the strategy of small steps isn’t a compromise, but a smart strategy for long-term success.

Hello there! Let’s start our journey with the most important step of all: being kind to yourself. Think back: how often have you set a grand, ambitious goal for yourself? “Become fluent in English in three months,” “Lose 20 kilograms by summer,” “Launch a successful business from scratch in six months.”

What feelings come up when you remember these attempts? Pride? Or a slight bitterness and the thought: “I failed again. I guess I just didn’t try hard enough”?

Now, let’s figure out what was really happening. Imagine you have a large, delicious cake in front of you. If you try to swallow it whole, you’ll choke, feel sick, and completely miss the taste. But if you eat it in small pieces, savoring each one, you’ll enjoy it and feel satisfied.

It’s the same with big goals. Our brains and psyches are wired in such a way that large, vague, and distant tasks cause us stress and anxiety. It’s like trying to carry an impossibly heavy suitcase all by yourself across the entire country. Your arms feel like they’re going to fall off after the first mile.

This approach is what we call “toxic productivity.” Its main signs are:

Rigid and Tight Deadlines: We box ourselves in, ignoring the real circumstances of our lives.

Perfectionism: We want to do everything perfectly on the first try, or we don’t want to do it at all.

Focus on the Result, Not the Process: We don’t enjoy the journey, obsessing only over the finish line.

Ignoring Signs of Fatigue: We push through the “I can’t do this” feeling until our bodies simply refuse to cooperate.

So why doesn’t this work? Our resistance grows in proportion to the pressure we apply. The more we force ourselves, the stronger the internal pushback becomes. It’s like trying to push a wall down with your forehead – you won’t make a dent, you’ll just end up with a headache and a bad mood.

A Real-Life Example:

Maria decided to lose weight. She started a strict diet: only buckwheat and kefir. At the same time, she bought a gym membership and planned to work out for two hours every day. For the first two days, fueled by enthusiasm, everything went well. On the third day, her body started to rebel; hunger and fatigue took over. That evening, she “caved” and ate a chocolate bar. Maria scolded herself for her lack of willpower, quit the diet and the workouts, and felt like a failure. This cycle repeated itself a few months later.

What went wrong? The goal was too big and abstract (“lose weight”), and the methods were too abrupt and harsh, leading to instant exhaustion and a complete loss of motivation.

Practical Advice:

Let’s do a little experiment. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Think of one recent goal you didn’t achieve or gave up on halfway through. Now, answer these questions honestly:

What exactly stopped me? (For example: “I didn’t have time,” “I lost interest,” “It was harder than I thought.”)

How did I feel when I quit? (Relief? Disappointment in myself? Anger?)

What was my original plan? Could it have been broken down into smaller, more understandable steps?

Chances are, you’ll discover that the reason wasn’t laziness, but a lack of preparation, fear, or simply being overwhelmed by a mammoth task.

Why This Works:

This exercise helps shift your focus from self-blame (“I’m bad”) to strategy analysis (“The plan was flawed”). This is the first and most important step toward starting to act in a new way – gently and with care for yourself. You learn to recognize the “enemy” – the toxic approach – and can start to fight it.

Our next chapter will introduce you to the method that will become your primary weapon in this fight.

Chapter 2: The Philosophy of “Small Steps”: Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Core Idea: It is possible to achieve big goals without forcing yourself. The secret lies in regular, tiny actions that are so small it’s almost impossible to refuse to do them. They aren’t scary, they don’t take much energy, and they lead to massive change through the power of accumulation.

You will understand the principle of gradual improvement and be able to apply it to any goal, turning it from an insurmountable mountain into a path made of small, manageable stones.

In the previous chapter, we figured out why big goals scare us. Now, let’s get acquainted with a method that tricks our resistance and leads to real change.

This is the philosophy of “small steps.” Its essence is simple: it’s better to do a little bit every day than to try and do everything at once, only to burn out immediately after.

Imagine a huge boulder. No single person can move it. But if you break that boulder into thousands of little pebbles, you can carry them away one by one, and soon the boulder will be gone. Your big goal is the boulder. Small steps are the pebbles.

Why Your Brain Loves Small Steps:

They don’t trigger fear. Admit it, the task “write 100 words a day” for a book sounds far less terrifying than “write a 300-page book.”

They don’t require massive willpower. You won’t have to negotiate with yourself or force yourself to do it. Sitting down to write 100 words is a 5—10 minute task. It’s almost impossible to say no to that.

They create momentum. One completed small step naturally leads to the next. You’ll want to do a little more because you’ll feel the satisfaction of having accomplished something.

They prevent burnout. You don’t overload yourself, so you always have energy left for the next steps.

This approach is incredibly reliable. Imagine two people who want to run a marathon.

The first one immediately tries to run 20 km, strains themselves, gets injured, and quits.

The second one starts with 5 minutes of jogging at a comfortable pace. After a week, it’s 7 minutes. Another week later, 10 minutes. After six months, they can easily run 20 km and continue training.

Who will ultimately achieve the goal? Obviously, the second person. Slow and steady progress always wins over frantic sprints and sudden stops.

A Real-Life Example:

Alexey had long wanted to get his finances in order. The thought of sorting through a pile of papers, analyzing a year’s worth of expenses, and creating a complex budget horrified him. He had been putting it off for years.

Instead, he started with a small step: spend 5 minutes a day recording his current expenses. He simply noted in his phone’s notes what he bought and how much it cost. It was easy. Within a month, he had a clear picture of where his money was going. His next small step was to put 100 rubles into a savings jar every day. Another month later, he automatically, without any effort, started looking for ways to save money. Within six months, he was effortlessly in control of his finances, without any stress or pressure.

Practical Advice: The “15-Minute Rule”

Choose one goal that seems difficult to you. Now ask yourself: “What is the very first, smallest step I can take toward that goal right now, spending no more than 15 minutes on it?”

Goal: “Clean out the garage.” Step: “Today, take out one bag of old junk.”

Goal: “Learn Spanish.” Step: “Learn the 3 most common phrases today.”

Goal: “Write my term paper.” Step: “Open the document and write three sentences for the introduction.”

Your task is not to do everything, but to do only that one small step. Today. Tomorrow, you’ll ask yourself again and do another step.

Why This Works:

This method tricks your brain. The anxious and “lazy” part of your mind doesn’t even have time to engage its resistance because the task is too simple and quick. And when you complete that step, you get a dose of satisfaction – you did great, you moved forward! This motivates you to keep going. Small steps might seem insignificant, but their power lies in their regularity and compound effect. A drop of water hollows out a stone. Your task is simply to let one drop fall each day.

In the next chapter, we’ll learn how to properly break down any goal, even the most complex ones, into these small, actionable steps.

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