The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 17, No. 472, January 22, 1831
TextTHE GATHERER
"A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
SHAKSPEARE.
SIR HUMPHRY DAVY
We all know that Sir Humphry Davy was the creator of electro-chemistry—that he was the inventer of the safety-lamp; but few are aware that he was also a poet, and that the chemist wrote the prologue to the Honey Moon. We knew that he was skilful in angling, for he was the author of Salmonia; but we did not know that he was the original Green Man, and went a-fishing in a green dress, with a broad-brimmed green hat stuck with artificial flies, and being, in short, all green, down to his boots of Indian rubber. He was also an epicure of the drollest kind, for he was curious in tasting every thing that had never been tasted before, and interfered himself in the composition of dishes intended for his table, thereby encountering the wrath of strange cooks, and running serious risks in inn-kitchens. We have long heard his name coupled with aristocratic parties, but we see how he contrived to reconcile the calls of the laboratory and the invitations of great people. He worked to the last moment; and, when he was too late for dinner, covered his dirty shirt with a clean one, there being no time for changing it. He has been known to wear five strata of shirts at a time, and to have greatly surprised his friends by his rapid transitions from a state of corpulency to that of considerable leanness. This was when, at some moment of leisure, he contrived to find time to despoil himself of his exuvia. All Sir Humphry's experience in high circles (and in the plenitude of his fame he commanded any rank) never gave him ease of manner: he lacked the original familiarity with polished society, and his best efforts at pleasing were marred with a disagreeable bearing, which might sometimes be called pertness, sometimes superciliousness.—As in his dress he oscillated between a dandy and a sloven, so in his manners he vibrated from familiarity to hauteur. In all personal matters he missed the golden mean.—Spectator Newspaper.
YOUTHFUL PHILOSOPHY
The young Princess Esterhazy was a great favourite of George IV. At a ball given in honour of his Majesty's birth-day, the young ladies were each expected to kneel, and present him with a nosegay; but the princess declared, that as she was of royal blood, she would prefer death to such degradation. The King received her graciously, notwithstanding her obstinacy; but her governess sent the child to bed immediately after dinner. "Bon pour la digestion," exclaimed the princess; which so enraged the governess, that she took her out of bed and whipped her soundly. "Bon pour la circulation," said the princess; and the next day the governess resigned.—Atlas.
PLAIN SPEAKING
At St. Augustine's Sessions, in an appeal case, a witness was asked by Sir Edward Knatchbull, to relate what took place between him and his master, which he did as follows:—"I told him he was a liar." Chairman—"Very improper language." Witness—"Can't help that, I am come here to speak the truth, and you have got it."—Kent and Essex Mer.
THE DEAD HAND
It is an opinion very prevalent among the "finest pisantry in the world," that a lighted candle placed in a dead man's hand will not be seen by any but those by whom it is used; and also that, if a candle in a dead hand be introduced into a house, it will prevent those who may be asleep from awaking! Under the influence of this superstition, a party, a few nights since armed with a dead man's hand and lighted candle, attacked the house of Mrs. Leonard (the mother of the priest), in the town of Oldcastle, county of Meath; but, unfortunately for the credit of the creed, the inmates were alarmed, and the robbers fled, leaving the hand behind them.
EPIGRAMS
"Upon his arrival at Perthshire, his Majesty is to be received by a band of two hundred men, entirely of the Mac clan, arrayed in the ancient national costume."—Scotsman.
In Scotia our king's to be blessed with a treat,
A balleting one if the Scotch have their nacks,
For the papers put forth he's at Perthshire to meet,
Dressed in tartan and bonnet, a band of all "Macs." (Almacks.)
Which wert thou, cruel Bishop Bonner,
A savage wit, or senseless noddy,
When to extinguish Ridley's faith,
Thou mad'st a bonfire of his body?
Disdain'd by the Helen he fondly had wooed,
A love-stricken swain in a region campestris,
Thus "clerkly" gave vent to his sorrowful mood,
Ah! vota si mea valíssent cum Vestris! 3
Ah me! what foggy thoughts environ
The man that reads Gait's "Life of Byron."
—Hudibras parodied.
"What pens doth Galt in general use?"
To Farthing thus said Simon Shark;
"Mostly the Nocto-Polygraph,
Or pen that writes Sir—in the dark."
PUN-ICUS.
PARLIAMENTARY ABSTINENCE
Perhaps it is not generally known, and certainly not generally attended to, that an act of parliament was made in the reign of Edward III. prohibiting any one from being served, at dinner or supper, with more than two courses; except upon some great holidays there specified, in which he may be served with three. This act has never been repealed.
J.J.C.
ANTICIPATORY EPITAPH
(To the Editor.)
Connected with Leeds, Kent, mentioned in No. 461 of The Mirror, I beg leave to inform you, that in the village churchyard, near the castle, is a rather singular inscription upon a grave-stone, which was put up by the deceased during his life time; and when I first saw it, had blanks, for inserting his age and the time of his death. These blanks have long since been filled up, and the whole now reads as follows:—
"In memory of James Barham, of this parish, who departed this life Jan. 14, 1818, aged 93 years; and who, from the year 1774 to the year 1804, rung, in Kent and elsewhere, 112 peals, not less than 5,040 changes in each peal, and called bobs, &c. for most of the peals; and April 7th and 8th, 1761, assisted in ringing 40,320 bob-majors, on Leeds-bells, in 27 hours."
R. ROFFE.
As Le Commandeur De Sillery, who was ambassador from France to the Pope, was one day walking with the Venetian ambassador, in the square before the beautiful church of the Gesù, at Rome (where it seems there is always air, even in the hottest day of summer), he said to him, "What an odd thing it is that there should be always something of a breeze here? Can your excellency account for it?" "Perfectly well," replied the Venetian, "upon a tradition that has been long current in this city. The devil and the wind were one day walking together in the streets of Rome, when, coming to the Jesuits' College in this place, the devil said to the wind, 'Pray be so good as to stay here a minute or two, I have a word to say to these good fathers within.' The devil, as the story goes, never returned to his companion, who has been ever since waiting for him at the door."
J.G.B.