Judas' Gospel

“Don’t go there, please!” she cried in a tone that turned his blood into the water.

“This is the chance of my life and shouldn’t I go there? … and then how do you already know everything? … yes, television … but what have you got?” he asked while trying to dispel the anguish that had suddenly gripped him, his wife’s sweet and musical voice seemed hoarse, as if before calling him she had cried for hours.

“Anyway, I’m not the one to decide, I have to go because I was ordered,” he explained after delaying a moment, in order to find a normal tone of voice.

“Let them go, if they care so much about that damned article!” You can’t risk your life for a stupid newspaper page!” Nicole replied angrily, lighting a new shiver down his spine.

“What’s wrong with Nicole, I’ve never heard you like this … I told you I have to go there … what does it means it is precisely for this reason? Explain, please, you’re scaring me! … just a bad feeling? Come on, what do you want to ever happen? I tell you that everything will be fine, try to be calm. In a couple of hours I’ll be home waving my beautiful article” he tried to reassure her as he was already beginning to believe it less,

“I love you too.”

The door lock melted under the heat of the laser and Nick began to walk slowly through the dark, his heart pounding. He had just seen his companion die and was terrified, if by chance he hadn’t obeyed his order to stay on the ground he would have met the same end. He walked trying to hold his breath so as not to make any noise, but it seemed to him that the rumble of the beating of his own heart in his chest resounded throughout the house. Until then, Nick had always been destined for simple surveillance assignments, now that for an absurd series of coincidences he was close to death he seemed to even smell it. Meanwhile his eyes had become a little accustomed to the darkness and he continued to advance without even a shred of conviction, he felt suffocated and was certain that somewhere, sooner or later, his assassin would have suddenly appeared in front of him surprising him. Cold sweat dripped into his eyes to cloud his vision, he had just stepped into a room when something cold touched his bare neck. Suddenly he stiffened and feared he would not even be able to beg for mercy, his throat was tightened with fright.

“Don’t hurt me, please,” he begged in a faint voice, dropping the weapon, then started walking again, pushed behind him by something terrifying. “I don’t have to be afraid, Joe defeated it and sacrificed himself to defend us. I have to avenge him, I have to be able to stop that bastard”, Fabien said to himself, but the blood continued to pound his temples while much of the initial impetus had already vanished. He was aware that if he wanted to hope to survive he had to kill that man, he wondered if he would be able to do it. If he had been in front of him just three minutes ago he would not have hesitated to fire, but now he was no longer even sure of his aim because he had to use his left hand and was afraid of making a mistake. In addition, the pain in his shoulder had returned to be felt badly, stabbing him with pangs so excruciating that he staggered. And when he turned around, the sight of the bone protruding from his bloodstained suit seemed to take away the few emotional forces he had left. A shadow suddenly pounced on him, emerging like a ghost from the basement door, without thinking twice Fabien raised his arm and fired. Immediately after the light came on and he saw that the corpse lying on the floor was Nick’s, he started to stammer some words of apology but something hit him violently on the back of the head.

As soon as the rain stopped, Judas abandoned his caution and pressed the accelerator pedal with enthusiasm. Despite the anguish that gripped him, he was anxious to face what awaited him to go home to Jodie and Nicole. When he arrived at the scene of the crime, he found that everything was immersed in an unreal and artificial silence. A car was rapidly turning into a heap of smelly scrap of oil, with a succession of small explosions, the thick black smoke rising straight against the now clear sky. Lords of the Order, Simple Guards and Sharpshooters were stationed everywhere. A small crowd was gathered at a safe distance and people were jostling for seats in the last row, from where they could still see well and risk less. Judas got out of the car holding his breath and walked cautiously across the lawn, lit only by the moonlight, keeping his eyes fixed on the door. When he reached the entrance steps he almost tripped over something, lowered his gaze and an overwhelming sense of nausea rose in his throat. Flaps of charred flesh held the lower and upper halves of a man together, strips of bloody fabric protruded from the perimeter towards the inside of a hole the size of a large clenched fist. An arm rested on it, the hand lying on the pavement where poor Joe’s back should have been. The disgust and horror made him want to escape as far as possible, but he knew that he was now there and had to perform his part to the end. During the journey he was informed that the madman was holding two other policemen hostage, he shouted to the Lords of the Order that if they did not satisfy his requests he would have killed them too. So he had no choice, if he didn’t want to risk having to carry such remorse within his entire life. He took a deep resigned breath, like a paratrooper about to jump from the plane, then threw one last puzzled look at the cordon of deployed guards and crossed the threshold. He had images of Nicole and Jodie fixed in front of his eyes, he knew that it was too late to wonder what would become of them if something bad happened to him.

An absolute order reigned into the house, as if it had been uninhabited for some time; the quiet was disturbed only by the damaged domestic robot, which continued to turn on itself. “Something to drink … something to drink …” he repeated obsessively in his cold and unnerving metallic voice. Judas turned it off and went inside, near the staircase leading to the rooms he found the lifeless body of another Lord of the Order. He was lying on the floor with his helmet visor splattered with blood, Judas walked past him, trying hard not to look at him, and cautiously peered into the living room. He saw the madman settled in a corner, overlooking the window, he was shielding himself with the body of a boy in uniform and had a dark stain of congealed blood on his shirt, corresponding to the left side. The hostage could have been up to twenty-five years old, had short dark hair, a face covered in mud and eyes swollen with tears. He held his right arm and continued to stare in dismay at the protrusion of the bone on his shoulder. The man greeted the newcomer with an indecipherable smile, accompanied by a furious and frightened look at the same time, Judas wondered what else he would still be able to do.

“I have to hold his gaze, - he thought anyway to give himself courage, - I have to make him believe that I am not afraid of him.”

“Let the boy go, he was just doing his duty. You know very well that he is not the cause of your problems, “he suggested, trying to keep a neutral tone.

“I haven’t done anything wrong, I just want to live my life … but you want to stop me!” replied the killer.

“As far as I’m concerned, I don’t want to stop you, but apparently that doesn’t matter to you. You wanted me and I’m here, now let the boy go,” Judas insisted.

“We don’t talk about it! The boy stays here with us, and if you just try to cheat me …”

“Even if I wanted to, how could I? I’m just a journalist and I’m unarmed.”

“Come closer!” the murderer ordered him showing him the gun, he obeyed and the other thoroughly searched him. Then he quickly checked his journalist’s card, when he felt satisfied he pushed the hostage away.” Go away, before I change my mind about it!” he said accompanying the words with a shove. The boy looked at the newcomer as if asking for Judas’ permission to go, he nodded and then walked with his head down towards the exit, shuffling his feet.

“He is one of those who should guarantee the safety of us citizens,” the murderer commented in a contemptuous tone, “and he was not even able to look after himself!”

“Why did you want me here?” the reporter went straight to the point without replying, he did not intend to be drawn into useless and dangerous discussions.

“I don’t want to be hibernating, I don’t want to lose my son,” the killer whined, Judas thought of Nicole’s belly and felt a cold grip in his stomach.

“You know very well that this is not possible,” he replied after a moment, trying to piece together the little information they had given him along the way. “When your wife died, your son was placed in a regular family. There he will be able to grow with all the points of reference he needs … I know this hurts you, it would hurt anyone, but you also know it’s only for his own good.”

“This isn’t fair, and you know it! I want you to write in your damn newspaper that I’m suffering an absurd injustice!”

Judas imagined that pretending to go along with him would be the best solution, but he feared that if he lied to him, the other would have understood it becoming furious, generating unpredictable consequences.

“I can’t write such a thing. Doing so I would express a judgment and you know that I am not allowed; such an article would not even let it out. All I can do is tell the facts as they happened… moreover, if you want, I can put your protests in writing and try to get them to those who are higher than us” he proposed then, to look for a compromise. “I can’t argue The Law, none of us can. All that is allowed to us is to respect it … like all laws it will not be perfect, but at least it guarantees Order. If this were not the case, if each of us tried to fix it as we see fit, things would be back in a short time as they were two centuries ago. It would be chaos again,” he said. The killer looked at him skeptically, and then motioned him to continue.

“I think I understand how you feel. I have a little daughter, when the thought that one day I might lose her touches me, I feel like I’m dying. I can tell you that I am very sorry, I am really sorry, but for you I cannot do anything more or different from what I have told you. Anyway, you won’t lose your child forever. You know that the initial cycle of Transitional Hibernation lasts only seven years, hopefully, at the end of that period he can go back to live with you.”

All the while the killer had listened to him, continuing to scrutinize him with that hallucinated look and the pistol in his hand.

“No, it is not true that you understand my situation … you say this only because you are afraid … but I guarantee you that you cannot understand … look at this!” he answered suddenly raising his voice, took a photograph out of his pocket and abruptly placed it in front of him. “This is my son! I will not see his first tooth come out; I will not see him take the first step. The day he first says “dad”, there will only be strangers in front of him. But I want to be there … I have to be there, you understand? Because when he grows up he will begin to ask where his parents are and he will be given vague answers, then he will wonder why I abandoned him and he will hate me. And in seven years he won’t even want to know my name anymore. You are not risking all this, so it is not true that you can understand me! I don’t want to be hibernated, I don’t give a damn about what might or won’t happen next, “he concluded, then he began to sob nervously and in spite of everything Judas almost felt sorry and supportive with him.

“And then,” he resumed, and now he looked really frightened, “you know the strange stories that are told about hibernating!” It is said that they will no longer be woken up because they are being used for experiments, that their organs are removed to replace the battered ones of the Elders of the Council.”

“What are you saying, these are just rumors. You know that lonely people are hibernated exclusively in order not to alter the social balance. And then, they constitute a “reserve of human beings” in case an unexpected event should drastically lower the demographic levels “objected the reporter.

“Oh yes? So tell me how much ex-hibernation you know personally! And while you’re at it, also explain to me why the subjects who are chosen are all healthy, young and strong,” objected the killer.

“Because one day they could become soldiers, to defend us in the event of an alien attack,” replied the other as if repeating a lesson learned by heart.

“And do you really believe it?” the other retorted with the tone of someone talking to a child, that simple question was enough to make all his certainties waver in an instant.

Judas felt the sudden urge to look out the window, looking for something reassuring. The snipers were stationed on the roofs of nearby buildings, the flashing lights of the cars continued to play with the black of the night. The many onlookers were still crowded with bated breath behind the cordon of Simple Guards, intent on savoring that absurd tragedy to the last emotion. The sudden perception of real reality shocked Judas, he realized that he had slipped into a dead end and had done it with his own legs. He thought that the similar stories he had experienced at the Total Cinema, impersonating some hero, did not do the slightest justice to the whirlwind of sensations that were tormenting his mind and heart. He found himself locked in a room, in the company of a distraught man waving a laser gun in his face, a maddened man who had nothing more to lose because he had just killed two policemen. He wondered if he would be able to get out unscathed and he began to feel bad, his family came to mind and he understood that he had to find a way to shake him, to make him understand that he had not a single chance to get what he wanted.

“You killed two men and maybe you will do the same to me, but that won’t change things,” he said with conviction. “You will not be able to escape anywhere and you will forever lose the chance to see your son again. The Law will never be changed and the world will always keep turning in the same direction, without worrying about you and me. And anyway you will end up in hibernation, or worse still, you will be killed by the snipers” he concluded pointing out to the window. “They are all out there for you, just waiting for you to make a mistake.”

He paused to give him time to think about it, hoping he finally understood that he had no way out, then resumed.

“If you give up now, maybe you can still get away with it. Perhaps you will be able to prove that the death of the two Lords of the Order was really just an accident, an unwanted thing.”

“Shut that mouth!” the other ordered, angrily tapping one foot on the ground, furious, he had just been cornered. He came within an inch of Judas’ face, who felt the hot gusts of his stinking, panting breath invade his nostrils. “Shut up, you’re just talking bullshit!” he said, took a step back extending his arm and began stroking the power button with sadistic slowness.

“It’s over!”, Judas thought resignedly, but the killer didn’t shoot him. He took his finger off the firing button and turned to the window, staring at what was happening in a secluded part of the garden. Under the hazy light of a street lamp, a man with snow-white hair was scolding Nicole bitterly. She kept her head down and stared at her arms folded across her chest, shook her shoulders rhythmically as if she were crying. Judas instinctively took a step towards the window but the other stiffened his armed arm, preventing him from taking another step. Soon after, Freddy also appeared on the scene, pushed Nicole aside in a gentle manner and took his place in the discussion with the white-haired man.

“Who is that woman? Do you know her?” asked the killer.

“She’s my wife,” Judas immediately confessed, a moment later cursed his inability to lie.

“I surrender,” the killer then announced, lowering his arm, Judas looked at him in bewilderment and he dropped the weapon to the floor. He bent down on his knees holding his side, he looked destroyed.

“You are happy?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Yes, I think I am,” he admitted, feeling a little ashamed with that man.

“I would like to meet your wife,” the killer asked almost politely, completely disorienting him. Judas did not intend to expose Nicole to such a risk, but he feared that in the case of his refusal, the other would lose his head again.

“Damn, why did Nicole come here? And who is that man who was berating her? Damn, just now that this man had decided to give up …” he thought as he tried to make a decision.

“Come on, I don’t want to fight windmills anymore,” the killer insisted in the tone of someone asking for a favor. Judas hesitated, he was convinced that the killer could still be capable of anything, but he picked up the weapon and gently placed it in his hand, as if he had read his mind.

“Come on, what are you afraid of? Now the one armed is you!”

He went to look out the window, praying he hadn’t made the wrong choice.

“Stay calm, it’s all right” he shouted, someone ordered the policemen to lower their weapons and he called Nicole, who in the meantime was left alone under that lamp because Fred and the other mysterious man had disappeared.

Judas had picked up the gun and stood in front of the window, from there, in case of need, he could easily have asked for help. Meanwhile, waiting for his wife, he tried with a trembling hand to keep the killer at gunpoint, who had settled in the center of the room.

“I have no intention of hurting you,” he hastened to tell her as Nicole appeared in the doorway, as if he feared that her change her mind. “Don’t be afraid, come closer,” he then added in an all too affable tone, to reassure her. She made a surprised face and barely held back an exclamation, her husband had the feeling that somehow those two already knew each other. Nicole noticed that he was looking at her puzzled, shook her head and went to hug him without responding to his questioning look.

“You really are a beautiful couple!” commented the killer after taking a step back, to better observe the family picture. “You must be proud of your husband, he is an intelligent and courageous man. I think there are very few who would have agreed to enter this house tonight. And then he is wise, because he says that we all have to respect the Law … and in a while we will see if he still thinks this way, or if he said this only to keep me good “he continued, approaching a small sofa at the back of the room. He lifted one of the pillows and grabbed a baseball bat.

“Put that club down!” Judas ordered him stiffening his armed arm, but he turned and continued talking to Nicole as if he hadn’t heard him.

“Do you see this? It’s my son’s favorite game, he’s only a few months old but you should see how he watches games on television. I promised him that one day I would teach him how to play, but unfortunately I won’t be able to. Judas told me that you also have a baby girl and that she understands me, but in my opinion it is not true. In my opinion he can’t understand, because he has never been forced to choose,” he explained, meanwhile he had started to move nervously. “The Law is sometimes cruel… too cruel. Sometimes we can’t just ask for what we are entitled to, we have to fight with all our strength to get it. Maybe in a while you will understand what I mean, because some things have to be tried in person” he announced more and more excited, Nicole started to run away but he blocked her way with the club.

“Stop!” Judas ordered him again, he replied with a shrug.

Nicole began to crawl along the wall to keep him away, the killer followed her step by step as in an absurd choreography while her husband looked at them in terror, he couldn’t make up his mind. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to shoot that man but was afraid of hitting his wife. Suddenly the killer got into position like a real hitter, with his legs apart and the bat in a horizontal position at shoulder height, then Judas dropped the weapon and rushed at him.

“Don’t do it, don’t do it!” he shouted, but the killer performed a half twist of the torso.

“Now you will understand!” he ruled, the club quickly split the air and hit in the belly Nicole, who fell to the ground out of breath. Immediately afterwards he raised his club to hit her again and the other charged him like a bull, they fought by rolling on the floor until Judas managed to punch him in the side, in the exact spot where he had the bloodstain. The killer collapsed with a groan and he got up to help Nicole, convinced that the pain would keep him good for a while, but the killer chased him and punched him to the temple from behind. His vision became dark, he turned to react but his arms suddenly went limp, the chip connected to his adrenal glands had begun to do its duty. At first a vague sense of numbness took hold of his muscles, just a moment later it came the turn of pain. Judas stiffened, fell down and remained motionless, unable to move not even a single finger. He felt like hungry sharp-toothed worms were feeding on his flesh and bones. Meanwhile, the killer had run into the kitchen, now he was walking back towards him laughing like a madman as he showed him an electric knife.

“This is just the beginning,” he growled bending over Judas, who was terrified of having completely lost control of his body. He tried to ask for help but he couldn’t even open his mouth, he could hardly even breathe. The killer plunged the sharp knife into his chest until it touched his ribs, after which he began to slide it horizontally.

“Sometimes you can’t choose, now you’ll understand it too,” repeated once more the madman, then he lost interest in him and got up to go back to Nicole. He advanced towards her, pointing the knife in the direction of her belly, he had just begun to lower it when the glass of a skylight shattered, crossed by a bullet. Splinters with sparkling reflections flooded the room, a red spot spread rapidly on the assassin’s back, taking away his strength. Judas saw him fall down without saying a single word, then he was able to look one last time at Nicole, curled up on the ground with the eyes dirty with horror.

Finally, everything got dark.

The ambulance carrying Judas and Nicole quickly set off in the direction of the hospital, the onlookers began to disperse lazily. They were still excited about that unscheduled show, slightly thoughtful because this time the villain had risked winning. Some went away gathered in small groups and told each other the most intense moments of the whole story, exchanging opinions and gesticulating as if at the end of a football game.

After patiently letting the neighborhood become deserted and silent again, Sir Jonathan got on board the mortuary van destined to transport the murderer and motioned for the driver to get going. He sat down beside the apparently lifeless body lying on the gurney, opened a leather bag, and pulled out a device to monitor vital functions. He put the device away and aspirated the contents of a bottle with a syringe, unbuttoned the murderer’s shirt and gave him the injection in his chest, without any politeness. The man opened his eyes suddenly, as if waking up with a start, then immediately narrowed them in an attempt to focus. He looked around several times, bewildered, to try to figure out where he was.

“What a horror, being suspended like this between life and death is truly a hallucinating experience. There is a small part of you that remains conscious and feeds on fear, the terror of never waking up again and staying in that state forever, like a vegetable being” he mumbled in a thick voice, then his eyes rolled over to show their white part and he fell back into a kind of artificial sleep.

After a few minutes he woke up again, sat up and stretched up for a long time because his muscles were still annoyingly stiff.

“If you don’t say anything, it means that everything went according to plan” he asked the Elder, a veiled light of satisfaction flashed across the latter’s expression.

“It was a great interpretation,” he admitted, clapping his hands softly in a sweet, elegant applause. “You got the wrong job, you should have been an actor instead of a doctor! The idea of the bloodstain on the side at the chip, to justify the possession of the gun, was simply great. Even brilliant, I would say! I’m sorry we couldn’t install cameras to record your performance, I’m sure you would have loved see your performance. But unfortunately we couldn’t leave such a document around, it would have been too dangerous. What do you think instead?”

“I think two corpses are too many, and there were nearly a third and a fourth,” replied Dr. Lorentz, frowning slightly.

“Those deaths were not foreseen, it was an unpleasant accident. I had thought that patrol number Seven would be the most suitable: the patrol leader was one step away from retirement, the driver was a novice and the third was the least loyal to duty in the entire Police Department. I was convinced that none of the three would have any intention of taking a risk, I never thought that old Joe would have behave like a hero. I am sincerely sorry, but unfortunately it has happened and we cannot do anything about it. Their deaths were necessary, even if unknowingly those two sacrificed themselves for the most important crusade in the entire history of human race.”

“It may be as you say, but now the one with the blood on my hands is me … I wasn’t prepared to kill,” Dr. Lorentz pointed out.

“And what did it feel like doing it?” Sir Jonathan then asked him out of blue.

“… how do you say, Excellency?” asked surprised the doctor, he wasn’t sure he understood the question correctly.

“You know exactly what I mean! I want to know what emotions you felt killing that man, what feeling it gave you to take the life of another human being,” the Elder specified, stripping him of his hypocrisy. Lorentz saw himself again with the laser in his hand and relived the terror in the eyes of the policemen, he savored for a moment the sense of omnipotence that had taken possession of him immediately after killing Joe and did not have the courage to answer.

“Doctor Lorentz, from now on you are the only person in charge of the Hibernation Sector for the Sky Project. You have done a magnificent job so far, see not to disappoint me and you’ll have a glorious future. You will receive further instructions later,” Sir Jonathan announced, immediately after knocking on the glass that separated them from the driver’s cab, the driver stopped the vehicle and he walked away.

Jodie opened the door to the hospital room and stood frozen in the doorway. Her hand opened, dropping to the floor the bouquet of flowers and the drawing she had prepared for Nicole. She stared at her without being able to say anything, saddened by the sight of the needles and tubes running all around her and the large bruise on her forehead. Her mother would have wanted welcome her with a big reassuring smile but she could not, her eyes became shiny and her lips began to tremble.

“Oh, mom!” the little girl burst into tears as she ran towards the bed, “I was so scared! I saw everything on TV, the ambulances, the police, all those people. And those dead people … why do these things have to happen, why?” asked Jodie. Then she caressed her mother’s belly, which created a little hill under the sheet, and questioned her with her eyes. Nicole could no longer hold back the tears, pulled the child to her and squeezed her with all her strength.

“It’s all right now. Don’t worry, honey, it’s all over” she whispered in her ear, avoiding looking into her eyes, otherwise Jodie would have understood that she was lying to her.

After a few days and many clinical examinations, Judas and Nicole returned home, they tried with all their might to resume their old life but discovered that nothing was the same as before. By now they were afraid of everything and everyone, they avoided going to crowded places and every little unusual noise, or sometimes even just a glance from someone, opened the way to a terror as irrepressible as it was irrational. They no longer felt safe even within the walls of their home and were worried, more than for themselves, for the future of Jodie and that of the unborn child. They kept wondering if what they had invited him in was really a beautiful world, since it was enough one person’s whim to generate so much pain in others.

PART II

NICOLE’S DEATH

“So, are you done teasing me?” Freddy asked Judas resentfully, as they played their usual Tuesday game of tennis. He had decided to resume playing after jumping for a few weeks, to try to give himself a shock, but that morning his shots had almost all ended up against the net. Fred was out of breath because of the extra pounds and for this reason even more irascible than usual. Judas told himself that stripped in that tight-fitting shirt of his, made almost transparent by the abundant amount of sweat it was soaked in, his friend looked like a ridiculous sausage.

“I’m sorry but I’m not there with the head, it’s better if we finish it here for today” he replied abandoning the playing field to walk towards the locker room. Until then the hot shower after the game had always taken away tiredness and thoughts to leave him a good sensation of relaxing, but that time it hadn’t had any effect. The dark shadow that had accompanied him for some time had remained stuck on him like a second skin, he wondered if he would ever be able to find an ounce of serenity.