A Home For Christmas

Wade’s enjoyment of the meal turned sour.

Linette lowered her fork to the table. “Tell me, Wade, what are your plans for the children?”

He, too, lowered his fork, knowing his answer would bring more criticism from Missy. Not that it was any of her business. “Ma’am, I’ve been in contact with a Mr. and Mrs. Bauer from Fort Macleod regarding adoption.”

A collective gasp came from others at the table.

“I had hoped to hear from them by now because I have to leave almost immediately. I’ve agreed to look after a friend’s ranch while he takes a trip.”

A beat of silence passed before anyone responded.

It was Missy who spoke. “I guess you’ll have to take the children with you.” Obviously she knew that wasn’t his plan, but she meant to force him to reconsider.

“That’s not possible. I can’t take care of them and the ranch, too.” Before Missy could voice any more disapproval, before any of them could, he spoke again. “I need someplace safe to leave them until the couple comes. I hope...hoped they could stay here.”

Linette and Eddie looked at each other for a moment. Eddie answered Wade’s request. “We’ll discuss it later.”

With those words, he had to be content, though he could not relax with Missy’s heavy disapproval coming off her like a wave.

The main part of the meal ended, the dishes were cleared away and mincemeat pie served. Wade hoped the children were enjoying the dessert more than he was. Every mouthful was full of regret from his own heart and silent accusations from Missy.

Finally the meal was over.

“Everyone return to the sitting room. There are gifts for all the children,” Linette said.

Wade had begun to rise, but at that he sank back in his chair. He must find a way to draw Joey and Annie away so they wouldn’t be disappointed when they received no gifts.

Linette waved a hand to indicate he should join them. “There’s something for Annie and Joey, too.”

Missy waited at her chair as if to make certain he didn’t skip out.

He had no such intention and rose to follow her back to the other room. In a flash he saw that everyone had resumed their previous positions, which left him sitting at Missy’s side. He would have avoided the seat, but the room was crowded and he had no other option.

The children raced in and sat in a circle before the decorated evergreen tree next to the window.

One by one, Eddie handed gifts to the young ones. When it was his turn, Joey opened his package. “A ball for playing catch. Papa taught me to throw and catch.” He gazed at it, his lips quivering.

Wade would have gone to him, but wondered if the boy would find it embarrassing to be needing comfort.

Annie opened her gift, a sock doll with black button eyes, brown yarn hair and a pink cotton dress.

She stared at it and burst into tears.

Wade sat motionless, his heart shredding with shared sorrow. Before he could move, Missy sprang forward, sat beside the child and pulled her to her lap. “Shh, shh.” She rocked Annie in a tight embrace.

Finally the tears stopped. Missy returned to her chair, with Annie clinging to her like a sweater.

“I’ll take her.” Wade reached for his niece, but Missy shook her head.

“She’s fine here on my lap.” Missy’s eyes, too, were awash with tears.

Wade closed his eyes against a rush of wild emotions—a burning desire to comfort them both, a burst of fresh pain at his own sorrow and beneath it all, his unending sense of failure in not being able to give these children what they needed. And in not having seen how sad and desperate his late wife had been. The accusations hurled at him by Tomasina’s parents that it was his duty to see to her needs were no stronger than those from his own heart.

He never again wanted to experience such failure.

* * *

Missy held Annie as tightly as Annie held her. How well she remembered the first Christmas after her parents had died. The aching feeling that nothing would ever be the same, that no one would ever understand and love her the way Mama and Papa had. She and Gordie had gotten presents for each other—she’d bought him a new pocketknife she’d seen him admire in the store and he’d bought her a set of ivory hair combs. She hadn’t noticed them in any of the stores and wondered where he’d gotten them. It was much later that she realized he’d probably stolen them, and she’d never again used them.

She shook off the memories and flicked her gaze to the man beside her. She noted that his hands were curled so tightly the knuckles were white. From under her lashes Missy studied him. His expression revealed a mixture of emotions—uncertainty and sorrow.

He’d lost his sister. Of course he felt sorrow.

In her judgment of him she’d forgotten to take that into account. At the first opportunity she would correct the matter.

Annie cuddled close as the other children played with their new toys. After a bit, Joey left the others and scooted over to sit with his back against Wade’s legs. Wade rested his hands on the boy’s shoulders.

Missy smiled as uncle and nephew released tiny sighs and sank toward each other, giving comfort and consolation.

One by one the guests rose, gathered up their children and bade Linette and Eddie and the others goodbye. Louise and Nate excused themselves and took baby Chloe to their room. Only Missy remained beside Wade, with Annie on her lap and Joey at Wade’s knees.

Eddie and Linette approached Wade. “We need to talk.”

Knowing they meant to address Wade’s request to leave the children at the ranch, Missy struggled to her feet. “I’ll take the children into the kitchen. Come along, Joey.”

The child was too tired to argue and shuffled after her, but by the time they sat down at the table, his curiosity kicked in.

“They’re talking about us, aren’t they? Is Uncle Wade leaving us here?” The boy’s voice cracked, not only from fatigue. The poor child dreaded being abandoned.

Annie sobbed and tightened her arms about Missy’s neck.

She forced herself to take two slow breaths. How could Wade think of leaving these children? Yes, she understood he had a job to go to, that someone was counting on him to take care of their ranch. Yes, she understood he was an unmarried cowboy with no home. But the facts did not change her feelings. She knew what it was like to have people she cared about snatched out of her life, and to feel as if she was only an inconvenience to those who were left. She even harbored a suspicion that Louise had married her brother, Gordie, simply to protect Missy from Vic. The thought twisted through her gut. A nuisance and a burden.

Praying her voice would be firm and reassuring, she pulled Joey to her side. “Listen to me, both of you. Wherever you go, whatever happens to you, you are not alone. You have each other. And you have your mama and papa inside you.” She didn’t know how else to say that their memories of their parents would always be with them and always guide them. “And God is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is as close as your next breath. He sees what you need and He will provide it.”

Two pairs of dark eyes watched her, practically drank her in, taking the encouragement and assurance she offered.

“You can trust God no matter what. Can you remember that?”

Annie and Joey nodded.

The kitchen door swung wide. Wade stood in the opening, his eyes on her. “Missy, would you please join us?” He turned to the children. “You two wait here.”

Missy set Annie on a chair next to her brother, caressed both heads and smiled. “Remember what I told you.” She reminded herself of the same thing—God was with her—and followed Wade into the sitting room.

She felt the heaviness in the air around her as she sat down opposite Wade.

“What’s this all about?” she asked.

Linette answered. “You heard Wade say he was trying to find an adoptive family for the children.”

Missy nodded, her lips pressed together to keep her opinion to herself.

“We’ve asked him to stay until he makes those arrangements. For the children’s sake.”

“Quite so. They’ve had enough loss to deal with already.” Missy released the words in a rush and blinked hard to keep from piercing Wade with her challenging look.

Linette continued. “However, he doesn’t feel he can take care of them on his own.”

Eddie spoke at that point. “I won’t let Linette be responsible for them. Not when Jonathan is only a few days old.” The baby boy slept in her arms.

Wade cleared his throat and Missy’s gaze jerked toward him. So many feelings rushed through her—fear that he meant to give these children away, hope that it would give them a loving home and... Oh, yes, she meant to express her sympathy at his loss. Before she could say a word, he spoke.

“I would like to hire you to look after Annie and Joey until I can make other arrangements.”

She opened her mouth, but again he cut her off. “You can put the money toward paying for the secretarial course you want to take.”

She’d meant to say she’d gladly take care of the children free of charge, but his words reminded her that she needed funds to fulfill her plans. Still she did not answer him. Somehow to say yes felt as if she’d be giving approval to his plan, aligning herself with him rather than the children.

But if she said yes, she could spend time with them, help prepare them for their future and help them find enjoyment in their current situation.

“Yes, I’ll do it. On one condition.” She hesitated. Was she asking the right thing? “You—” she nodded to Wade “—spend time with them, as well.”

Their gazes held as they measured each other. Likely he wondered at her reason even as she wondered at his.

“I’m amenable to that.”

Eddie slapped his knees. “Then it’s settled. Things have a way of working out for the good of everyone.”

Missy wondered what he meant. She couldn’t see how things would work out for the good for Joey and Annie. They’d lost their parents and would soon lose their uncle and go to live with strangers.

None of them had any control over the future. But as she’d told the children, God would never leave them. If she could do one thing in the few days she’d have with them, it would be to make sure they believed that.

In so doing, she’d make certain they enjoyed their time at Eden Valley Ranch—even if it meant she’d have to interact with Wade Snyder to make that happen.

Chapter Two

Eddie got to his feet, took the baby and helped Linette to stand. “I think my wife should have a little rest. It’s been a long day.” He led her up the stairs.

Missy watched them go, then glanced about the room. Not long ago this space had been crowded with guests. Now there was only Wade and her. Not that they were really alone. The children were in the next room; Linette and Eddie, Nate and Louise were upstairs. Nevertheless, Missy’s nerves twanged with tension. Would Wade use the quiet to inform her that she had stepped into his business too many times? She knew she had but didn’t regret it.

There was only one thing she meant to change. “I have never expressed my condolences over the loss of your sister and brother-in-law. I’m very sorry. I recently lost my brother, so I share a little knowledge of how you feel.”

“Thank you. I didn’t know you’d lost your brother, though I suppose I should have realized it when Louise said her husband had never met baby Chloe. I didn’t make the connection. I’m sorry for your loss, as well.”

Missy let her gaze find his as she offered her sympathy. It was nothing but a cool, impersonal meeting of the eyes, but at his kind words, something shifted between them. Their circumstances might be different, but the pain and loss were similar and they silently acknowledged it. She felt his sorrow in the depth of her heart, even as her own sense of loss tightened her chest.

Her breath stuttered in and she broke their visual connection. “Do you intend to tell the children of your plans?” she asked, bringing her gaze back to his.

He looked away, his eyes full of uncertainty. “I don’t know how much I should tell them.” He turned back to her. “I don’t want to take away from their enjoyment of Christmas.”

She nodded. “Nor do I. In fact, I’ll do everything in my power to make their stay here enjoyable. Too bad Christmas is over.” In the ensuing silence, she heard a distressing sound. “Is that Annie crying?”

They were both on their feet in an instant and rushed for the kitchen door.

Joey sat with his arm about his little sister. Her sock doll lay on her knees as tears dripped to its face.

Missy knelt before the child. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Annie sobbed an answer.

Missy could not make out what she said and was about to sit down and pull the child to her lap when Wade beat her to it. He held Annie so tenderly, his face so full of sorrow and concern, that Missy blinked back a few tears of her own. How she wished to help this hurting trio. God, I told the children You would help them and guide them. Let me assist if that’s possible.

She sat beside Wade and rubbed Annie’s back. After a moment the little girl quieted and was able to speak. “Mama made me a doll. I don’t know where it is.” Her crying intensified again.

Missy’s heart twisted and she gave Wade a look of despair. “She’s lost so much.”

“She hasn’t lost her doll.” He shifted Annie to Missy’s arms and strode from the room.

“Where’s he going?” Joey clutched her hand. “Is he leaving?”

“I don’t think so.” Missy was as uncertain as Joey until she reminded herself that Wade had agreed to stay until the children were placed.

He returned in quick order carrying two bulky boxes and two valises. “Your doll is in this stuff. We just have to find it.” He dropped his burdens to the floor.

The children sprang forward and fell upon the baggage as if they’d been returned home from being lost. In a sense, Missy supposed it felt that way. Everything they owned and were familiar with was before them.

Wade pried open the first box and let the children dive into the contents. Blankets, clothing, a pair of woolen mittens were all pulled out. Annie pressed her face into each article and breathed deeply. Joey fingered the fabric and then slipped his hands into the mittens, a look of joy and pain twisting his features.

They emptied the box and sat back. No doll.

Missy carefully repacked the contents while Wade opened the next box. Again he stepped back as the children examined the contents. With a squeal, Annie pulled out a pink sweater and slipped it on. She rubbed her sleeves and smiled through a sheen of tears. “My sweater Mama made me.”

Joey dug further. He didn’t say anything, but it was obvious he was hunting for something. When the box was empty he sat back on his heels. “It’s not there.”

“What are you looking for?” Wade asked.

“Something.” Joey would say no more.

Missy repacked the box, with the children following every move of her hands, as if saying goodbye to each item. As if saying goodbye to their life. A tear dropped to the back of her hand but she wiped it off and continued until everything was back and Wade closed the top on the box.

The two valises sat untouched and the four of them stared at the bags. Would they contain something to comfort the children or would there be only disappointment? Missy didn’t want to face the possibility of the latter. It seemed the children didn’t, either. But Wade pulled one valise closer and folded back the top. “We might as well see what’s here.”

With less enthusiasm than they’d shown previously, the children pulled out items. This bag held boy’s clothing. Missy realized it contained the things Joey needed for the present. Annie sat back and let him remove the contents. He carefully lifted each shirt and each pair of trousers, almost reverently setting them aside. At the bottom of the bag he felt something and grew still, his eyes wide. Slowly, he lifted out a photograph and stared at it. “Mama and Papa.” The words came out in a whisper.

He turned the picture so Annie could see it. She sucked in a sigh and then released it.

No one moved. Missy wondered if anyone breathed as the children drank in the likeness of their parents.

Joey kept the photograph on his lap and searched the corners of the bag for something more.

Missy knew the moment he’d found it. He froze, one hand in the valise, his eyes wide, his mouth open. Then he swallowed twice and slowly withdrew his hand. “My ball.” He burst into tears.

Wade and Missy reached for him at the same time. Their arms crossed as they comforted Joey, but neither of them withdrew. The weight of Wade’s arm across Missy’s sent a rush of warmth straight to her heart. She was instantly thirteen years old again, longing to be comforted. She’d gone to Gordie in tears, overwrought about their parents’ death, but her brother had pushed her away. Told her it was time to grow up. Wade, to his credit, simply held Joey now and let him shed as many tears as he needed to.

Annie scrambled over the valise, lifted the photograph from Joey’s knees, crawled into his lap and wrapped her arms about him.

Missy wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. She could not bring herself to look at Wade, fearing her emotions would riot out of control and she would become a teary mess.

When Joey’s sobs subsided he shared a memory. “Papa played catch with me every time he could.” He darted a glance to his uncle.

Missy almost chuckled at the boy’s subtle hint.

Wade nodded. “Tell you what. We’ll play catch, too.”

Joey grinned. “I’d like that.”

Annie slipped from her brother’s lap and squatted in front of the last valise. Wade opened it and the others sat back as Annie slowly lifted out little-girl garments and set them aside. After each she looked from Missy to Joey to Wade. Not until her uncle said, “Go ahead,” did she take out the next item.

She looked into the bag and squealed in delight, but kept her hands on her knees and stared at the object.

“What is it?” Missy asked softly.

Gently, Annie lifted out a soiled and worn cloth doll. “My dolly, Mary.” She hugged the doll to her neck and rocked back and forth, humming a lullaby.

Missy heart overflowed at this child’s pleasure. But her joy was intermingled with unshed tears. She shared a glance with Wade. From his trembling smile she guessed he struggled with the same emotions she did.

Their gaze remained locked. His smile fled and then returned with warmth and understanding, finding an answering smile in her heart. They might not have much in common. They had plans that didn’t involve the other. Certainly they were at odds about what his plans for the children were. But unmistakably they shared tender affection for these children.

Annie looked about the room as if searching for something else, saw her new doll on the kitchen table and trotted over to get it. “Mary, you have a sister now. This is Martha.” With one arm clutching each doll, she hugged them both to her neck.

Joey shifted to face Wade. “Are you leaving us here?”

Still on the floor, Wade sat back and crossed his legs with an ease that said he often sat this way. Missy could imagine him on the ground before a campfire, a tin cup of steaming coffee in his hand. The picture made her smile and, at the same time, filled her with an unfamiliar restlessness.

Her smile fled as she waited for Wade to explain his plans to the children.

He caught Annie and pulled her to his lap. “I’m not leaving for a little while. You both know I don’t want to ever leave you but...” He shrugged, then brightened. “But Missy is going to help take care of you while we’re here. How do you like that?”

Joey grinned. “I like that.”

Annie reached for Missy’s hand and pulled her closer. “Me, too.”

The children looked at each other, sharing a secret. Then Joey nodded. “I’ll ask.” He considered Wade a moment as if gathering up the nerve.

“What is it?” Wade prompted.

“Annie and I want to have our own Christmas. Not one with so many strangers.”

Wade turned to Missy. “What do you think?”

“Sounds good to me.” She turned to Joey. “Did you have something in mind?”

Joey wriggled with excitement. “Tomorrow is the day after Christmas. Boxing Day, Mama called it. She said it used to be when people gave their servants money and gifts back in England. We don’t have servants, but she said Grandma considered the animals her servants, so they would go to the barn and decorate it to celebrate Jesus being born in a manger. Can we do that tomorrow?”

Missy’s throat clogged. The children didn’t want gifts for themselves; they wanted only to make Christmas memorable.

She turned toward Wade, intending to tell him she’d help him decorate the barn if Eddie approved. But Wade looked as if he’d been stabbed through the heart.

He shifted Annie to Missy’s lap and strode from the room.

* * *

Wade stumbled out the back door into the clear evening. Trying to calm himself, he sucked in the cold air and commanded his thoughts to fall into order.

The door behind him opened, threw out a patch of golden lamplight before him, then closed softly. He felt Missy at his side but did not look her way nor acknowledge her.

Her hand touched his arm and rested there. “Wade, what’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothin’.”

“‘Nothin’’ doesn’t send a man rushing out into the night.”

She had a point. His thoughts untangled and dashed to his tongue. “It was my mother who began the tradition of decorating a manger for Christmas. Born and raised a proper English miss, she couldn’t dismiss Boxing Day as just another day. I remember how eagerly Susan and I looked forward to our trip to the barn the day after Christmas.”

“Susan was your sister? The children’s mother?”

He nodded. “My parents are gone. My sister is gone. My wife is gone.”

Missy’s fingers trembled on his arm. “You were married?”

“A long time ago. I tried to get her to decorate the manger with me but she didn’t see the value of doing so.” To Tomasina it was a silly, childish practice. After her death, he’d been glad to join Susan and her family in carrying on the tradition.

“It will be good for the children to continue their customary way of celebrating the day.”

Enough light came from the window for him to watch Missy’s hand run along his arm. Was she even aware she did it?

He shifted away, forcing her to drop her arm to her side. He didn’t need or want comfort. Not for himself. She could save it for the children. He lived the life he wanted and deserved.

“It’s getting cold.” He opened the door and held it for her to enter. When they stepped inside, Joey and Annie watched them with wide, fearful eyes. He understood life was uncertain for them at the moment, the future unknown. The best he could do was get them settled as soon as possible. Only then could they begin to adjust to the facts of their life.

They were young enough to adapt.

He knew he never would. He’d learned his past went with him, bleeding into his present and staining his future. One simply did not forget finding one’s wife dead of her own choice. At least Susan and her husband had died of natural causes. One could put that down to God’s timing. Then all one had to do was believe God had a good and perfect plan in mind. Though, truth be told, there were times Wade found it hard to see the good in things. But then wasn’t that what trust was—believing when he couldn’t see?

To reassure the children he pasted a smile on his face. “I’ll ask Eddie about decorating a manger.”

“What is it you want to ask Eddie?” The man in question entered the room.

Wade explained the Snyder tradition and Eddie wasted no time consenting. “It sounds great.”

Grady was at Eddie’s heels. “Can I go with you tomorrow?” the boy asked Wade.

“Of course you may.”

Grady grinned in pleasure and Eddie squeezed his shoulder, as happy as the child, then he turned to the others. “My wife has fallen asleep. I think Louise and Nate have, as well. That leaves us to fend for ourselves for something to eat.” He set out leftover ham and turkey and sliced a loaf of bread, while Wade put Annie’s things back in the valise and pushed their boxes and bags to one side of the room.

When the three adults and three children gathered around the table, Eddie asked the blessing. Annie placed her two dolls on either side of her and patted each.

Mealtime was quiet, the children tired out from the long day and the adults somewhat subdued, as well. As soon as they were satisfied and the dishes quickly disposed of, Eddie led Wade and the children upstairs. Missy apparently had a room on the main floor and called good-night as the others climbed the steps.

Annie paused on the steps, looking over her shoulder. “Where are you going to sleep?” she asked Missy. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”

“I have a room down here. I’ll be here when you get up tomorrow.”

Wade gathered his niece in his arms and carried her up the stairs. She was practically asleep on his shoulder by the time Eddie showed him a room for the children and an adjoining one for himself. He helped the children prepare for bed, then withdrew to the next room, hoping the children wouldn’t be upset by being separated from him.

* * *

He woke the next morning to two children bouncing on his bed.

“It’s morning,” Annie said with a bounce.

“You sure?” His voice was gravelly.

“We’re doing something special today. ’Member?”

He cracked one eye open. “Not before breakfast.”

“Aren’t you getting up?” Joey bounced twice just for good measure.

“Where’s Missy?” Annie added another bounce. “I want to wake her up.” She jumped toward the side of the bed.

Wade lifted his head and eyed her. “You will not go downstairs until I say so.” He cocked an ear and listened. “I don’t think anyone else is awake. And you shouldn’t be, either.” He let his head fall to the pillow, closed his eyes and wished for the forgetfulness of sleep.

“They’re awake, Uncle Wade. I heard baby Chloe and baby Jonathan crying when we came in here.” Joey seemed to think that was reason enough to make sure everyone in the house was up.

Wade had jerked awake a couple times in the night, hearing the babies cry. Once, he’d thought he was out in the range and coyotes were nearby. He’d reached for his rifle, but found only bedding. By that time his heart raced and he was wide-awake.

Now as he lay there his thoughts harkened back to the previous day. His agreement with the Gardiners meant he would be days late getting to Stuart’s place. Stuart would wonder when he didn’t show up, though he’d wait a few days before he gave it much mind. By then, Wade would be there.

There wasn’t much traffic to and from Fort Macleod this time of year, but a man and woman anxious to adopt two children would find a way of making arrangements. Until then Wade and Missy Porter would entertain the children.

He tried to decide what he thought of that young lady.

Very pretty for sure.

Alone. Just as he was. Except he at least had the children for the next few days. He pushed aside the sorrow of knowing he would soon have to say good-bye to them. Perhaps never see them again, depending on the wishes of the new parents.

Missy was opinionated, as well. She certainly knew what she wanted, which was to his advantage. He could offer her a paying job.

Doubts crowded his mind. Had he done the right thing in asking for her help?

But she was kind and she’d be good to the children. They needed tons of kindness and affection at the moment.

He rubbed his arm where she had touched him. Warmth trickled into his heart like water from a block of ice under a warm spring sun.

The children, realizing they must wait before going downstairs, curled up beside him.

“Tell us a story,” Annie begged.

“Yes, do,” Joey added, trying not to sound as eager as his younger sister.

“Me?”

“Like Mama used to.” Annie voice threatened tears.

“You’re all we got.” Joey had no idea how inadequate that made Wade feel.

“Okay, I’ll try. Once upon a time there was a cowboy.”

“Oh, I like that.” Annie’s eyes were wide with expectation. “A cowboy who loved a lady.”

“Hey, whose story is this?”

“You have to have a lady.” Annie nodded with absolute certainty.

“You’re sure?” He looked to Joey for backing on this idea, but his nephew nodded. The boy offered no escape at all.

“Okay.” Wade wasn’t going to be able to avoid it. “There was a cowboy who had a lady.”

“Loved a lady,” Annie corrected.

He sighed. “How do you know he loved her?”

“He knew it here.” She patted her chest.

“Is that what your mama said?” Susan had been such a romantic.

Annie shook her head. “I just know it. Right, Joey?”

Joey considered her question. “I don’t know.” At the fear and hope laced through his words, Wade’s throat tightened. Joey was awfully young to be afraid of love, though perhaps he had as much reason as Wade did. But Wade didn’t care to see such doubt in his nephew and decided he would tell a story about a cowboy who loved a lady.

“She was a beautiful lady,” he said.

Annie sighed. “Like Missy.”

Wade didn’t argue the point. How could he when he pictured Missy in the role? Not that he saw himself as the cowboy. Nope, that wasn’t a part he intended to take.

“This young lady liked to cook and sing and play the piano. She liked children and hoped she could have dozens of them.” He swallowed back a bitter taste in his mouth. How had his story gone from thinking of Missy to thinking of Tomasina?

“Did she?” Joey asked.

“What?” He’d gotten lost in his thoughts.

“Did she have lots of kids?”

“She did. Six little boys and six little girls.” Might as well make the story big and give it a happier ending than his own.