Out of the Deep: Words for the Sorrowful
TextCONFESSION OF SIN
Father, I have sinned against Thee, and am not worthy to be called Thy child; but I come to Thee. Father, I hate myself; but Thou lovest me. I do not understand myself; but Thou dost, and Thou wilt be merciful to the work of Thine own hands. I cannot guide and help myself, but Thou canst help me, and Thou wilt too, because Thou art my Father, and nothing can part me from Thy love, or from the love of Thy Son, my King. I come and claim my share in Thee, just because I have nothing, and can bring Thee nothing, but lie at Thy gate as a beggar full of sores, desiring to be fed with the crumbs from Thy table. And if I would help the wretched, how much more wilt Thou help me. Thy name is Love, and Thy glory is the likeness of Thy Son Jesus Christ, who said, “Come to me, all ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest;” “If ye being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give His Holy Spirit to them that ask Him.”
Amen.
CONFESSION OF WEAKNESS
O God my Father, I am Thine; save me, for I have sought Thy commandments. I am Thine—not merely Thy creature, O God—the very birds, and bees, and flowers are that; and do their duty far better than I—God forgive me—do mine.
I am Thine—not merely Thy child—but I am Thy school child. O Lord Jesus Christ, I claim Thy help as my schoolmaster, as well as my Lord and Saviour. I am the least of Thy school children; and it may be the most ignorant and stupid. I do not pretend to be a scholar, a divine, a philosopher, a saint. I am a very weak, insufficient scholar, sitting on the lowest form in Thy great school-house, which is the whole world, and trying to spell out the mere letters of Thy alphabet, in hope that hereafter I may be able to make out whole words and whole sentences of Thy commandments, and having learnt them, to do them. If Thou wilt but teach me Thy statutes, O Lord, then I will try to keep them to the end; for I long to be on Thy side, and about Thy work. I long to help, be it ever so little, in making myself better, and my neighbour better. I long to be useful, and not useless; a fruit-bearing tree, and not a noxious weed in Thy garden; and therefore I pray that Thou wilt not cut me down or root me up, nor let foul creatures trample me under foot.
Have mercy upon me, O Lord, in my trouble, for the sake of the truth which I long to learn, and for the good which I long to do. Poor weak plant though I may be, I am still a plant of Thy planting, which is struggling to grow, and flower, and bear fruit to eternal life; and Thou wilt not despise the work of Thine own hands, O Lord, who died that I might live? Thou wilt not let me perish! I have stuck unto Thy testimonies. O Lord, confound me not!
Amen.
CONFESSION OF ONE IN CONFUSION OF SPIRIT
O God, Thou knowest, and Thou alone, how far I am right, and how far wrong. I leave myself in Thy hand, certain that Thou wilt deal fairly, justly, lovingly with me, as a Father with his son. I do not pretend to be better than I am; neither will I pretend to be worse than I am. Truly I know nothing about it. I, ignorant human being that I am, can never fully know how far I am right, and how far wrong. I find light and darkness fighting together in my heart, and I cannot divide between them. But Thou, Lord, canst. Thou knowest. Thou hast made me; Thou lovest me; Thou hast sent Thy Son into the world to make me what I ought to be. Thou wiliest not that I should perish, but come to the knowledge of the truth; and therefore I believe that I shall not perish, but come to the knowledge of the truth about Thee, about my own character, my own duty, about everything which it is needful for me to know. Therefore, O Lord, I will go boldly on, doing my duty as well as I can, though not perfectly, day by day; and asking Thee day by day to feed my soul with daily bread. Thou feedest my body with daily bread. How much more wilt Thou feed my mind and my heart, more precious by far than my body. Lord, I will trust Thee for soul and body alike; and if I need correcting for my sins, I know this, at least, that the worst thing that can happen to me, or to any man, is to do wrong and not to be corrected; and the best thing is to be set right, even by hard blows, as often as I stray out of the way. Therefore, O Lord, I will take my punishment quietly and manfully, and try to thank Thee for it, as I ought; for I know that Thou wilt not punish me beyond what I deserve, but far below what I deserve. I know Thou wilt punish me only to bring me to myself, and to correct me, and purge me, and strengthen me. I believe, O Lord, on the warrant of Thine own word I believe it—undeserved as the honour is, that Thou art my Father, and lovest me; Thou dost not afflict any man willingly, or grieve the children of men out of passion or out of spite. Thou wiliest not that I, or any man, should perish; but Thou wiliest have all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth, for Jesus Christ His sake.
Amen.
CONFESSION OF A TORMENTED SOUL
O Lord, I am in misery—my soul is sore troubled—for I have sinned, and I confess that I only receive the due reward of my deeds. I have earned my shame, I have earned my sorrow; Lord, I have deserved it all. I look back on wasted time and wasted powers. I look round on ruined health, ruined fortune, ruined hopes; I confess that I deserve it all. But Thou hast endured more than this for me, and Thou hast done nothing amiss. For me Thou didst suffer, for me Thou hast been crucified, and me Thou hast been trying to save all through the years of my vanity. Perhaps I have not wearied out Thy love, perhaps I have not conquered Thy patience. I will take the blessed chance. I will still cast myself upon Thy love. O Lord, I have deserved all my misery. Yet, Lord, remember me when Thou comest into Thy kingdom.
Amen.
Father! not our will but Thine be done. All things come from Thy hand, and therefore all things come from Thy love. We have received good from Thy hand, and shall we not receive evil? Though Thou slay us, yet will we trust in Thee. For Thou art gracious and merciful, long-suffering and of great goodness. Thou art loving to every man, and Thy mercy is over all Thy works. Thou art righteous in all Thy ways, and holy in all Thy doings. Thou art nigh unto them that call upon Thee. Thou wilt hear their cry, and wilt help them; for all Thou desirest, when Thou sendest trouble on us, is to make us wiser and better. And that Thou canst only make us by teaching us the knowledge of Thyself. Glory be to Thee, O God!
Amen.